The Silence Splits Me Open

Liverpool In Singapore

2009-07-25T21:36:00.003+08:00

What a day, 1st time seeing the Liverpool team so close to me yet so far. Kuyt was the most active, waving at us all and even talking at the same time. The rest just look exhausted. They smile and thumbs up. Torres was like so cool with his blonde hair. There was quite alot of people there, all screaming and singing. Talked to a few Liverpool fans while I was there. We were all hoping that we can lift the league cup next season. Would really want Xabi to stay on.

Can't wait for the match 650pm on channel 5. I do wish to be at the national stadium though=)

I'm having a red fever today. Man, Im so tired now.

Ice ag3

2009-07-20T22:18:00.002+08:00

One of the MOST FUNNIEST movie I watched this year.
I can't believe I had tears in my eyes, not because its a sad story.
Its simply the cutest ever and I can't believe my 3D glasses even got my tears on it that I had to wipe it off.
Its a must watch movie. My Monday got off to a good start.

Morning, morning morning. No one answered me. I felt the mondays blue too, but I'm all cheerful
Didn't want to bring myself down just because of what I was told yesterday
I let it all pass and slip away. Had a feeling of going Sentosa this coming weekend.
However, I need to see Liverpool on Saturday somehow.
My oh my was I busy the whole morning. Fawze Fawze Fawze, come lai lai.
Made so much mistakes today but they still trust me to do and finish up work.
I felt so useless. I can't read what is written on paper. I think I'm color blind or blind.

12pm and I'm all tired and ready for my 1pm nap. I didn't realise my phone was off all the way through.
Stupid auto-off phone. I think I'm not the only one, right Sony Ericsson Users?
So many people was looking for me. I don't know why but I guess I had a good nag at the end of the day.
Everyone was like..another sms gone to waste. Don't like me say la. Were you busy? at least on your phone la so I can call.
I didn't know what up and I realise my phone was sleeping on the job. Oh well.

Had this crazy idea for a movie today. So we did went out to watch Ice Age in 3D.
I love 3D movies! don't you? Talking to a rock, That will be you in 3 weeks. HAHA!
Toxic=Laughing Gas. Those with gas go to the back. the jokes are endless.
But I guess every movie have to end. And I forgot to call home. Gosh my mum was worried.

I feel so much better with people around me. I guess I was never alone.
I was just made to believe I am. I was never in a bubble by myself.
I was in a bubble just like everyone else. Feeling bubbly? Sticky when it burst and peel off my chest hair to remove the nut.
OMG, that was such a funny part. and the pink turns to red. and the screams of pain=D

Peace

2009-07-19T20:51:00.005+08:00

In this life,

I may not have many friends

I may have made a lot of enemies

I may talk a lot of crap

I may not be happy

I might always be sad

I may not have lived my life to the fullest

I might always be alone a lot, forever even

I might not get all I want

I might get shot and die

but for now and forever, I'm at peace=)

How my answering machine would sound like.

2009-07-15T21:36:00.003+08:00

Hello and welcome.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we

can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number

to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will

answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative

comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date

of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0

0 0.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,

press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

And...if you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up.

Afraid to miss you.

2009-07-12T12:28:00.007+08:00

I swear that I can go on forever, till the end.

Please let me know if I am lying, again.

I will go down as your lover, your best friend.

Give me you hand, and let me begin...

You always think you're alone

But you're right, I was never there for you

You're afraid I'd be gone, too soon

And I'm afraid that I'd miss you too.

I think I will wait 'till sunrise, with you

I'll keep my eyes open only, on you.

Where are you now? I can hear voices, in my head

And if you go on like this, I will feel the love and hate..

You always think you're alone

But you're right, I'm never there for you

You are afraid when I was not around

and that night, I was gone too soon...

Let it Ride

2009-07-12T12:15:00.004+08:00

When it all got started I was steadily just getting rejected

All it all seemed like nothing I could do would ever get me respected

At the best I was stressed and the worst they probably said I was pathetic

Had all the pieces to that puzzle just no way to connect it

And I was fighting through every rhyme,tightening up every line.

Never resting the question if I was out of my mind

And it finally came time to do it or let it die

So I put the chips on the table and told them to let it ride.

Preparation for iPhone

2009-07-12T12:01:00.003+08:00

1. Have enough money.

1.1 Have at least 2k for 2 years

1.2 Prepare to pay at least an extra 50 a month

2. Update my address book.

2.1 Get all my friends numbers

2.2 Get all their addresses ( If possible)

3. Do up my iTunes.

3.1 Add album art

3.2 Ensure all the song titles are correct

3.2 Change all files to AAC format

4. Buy a earphone.

4.1 Ensure it is iphone compatible

4.2 Noise reduction please

5. Prepare movies.

5.1 Convert all movies to fit

6. Download applications.

6.1 Look for good applications and download

7. Delete files from my old phone.

7.1 Delete pictures

7.2 Delete music

7.3 Delete Saved messages

7.4 Delete Videos

8. Package my old phone.

8.1 Put in charger

8.2 Put inside a box

Movie/Dinner/Wii/Surprise

2009-06-28T21:04:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was one of my favorite day of the year. I didn't expect so much to happen in just one day. I'm just so glad the people who made it there yesterday was there to make it happen.

1st up, meet up with Yew King and Alvin Lee at Sommerset MRT, before heading to Cine to meet Mervyn and Eileen. I was late. suppose to meet at 3pm, but I change the time to 330, but end up reaching there at 4pm. Sorry Yewking for making you wait. We ended up waiting for Alvin anyway.

Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen is the movie we watched. Some might rate it half a star, or even 4. But I guess its a good enough movie with lots and loads of action, explosions and transformations! I enjoyed the transforming the most. The story line is great but the only thing is that the movie moved too fast. Its a little to rush for me. I would love to see more transformation. yeap, Its a great movie that everyone should watch. Four and half stars for me.=)

After the movie, Alvin went off to meet his friend and Yew King left awhile to take his watch that he send for service earlier. Me soon meet up with Buddy! Man, I can't believe we still calling each other buddy after all this time. I guess some things last. Called Kamal and he was with Jessica at Ngee Ann City. So we walked over to meet them too. Along the way, to my surpise, Faizah was standing beside the phone booth. OMG! I can't believe my eyes, its really her. What a Surprise! I was Shock-ed and buddy just smile. Thanks again buddy for letting me have a chance to see Faizah again.hehe

So we walked over to Ngee Ann City, I was still stunned so I didn't dare go over to talk to her. So I walked with Merv and Eileen right behind her and buddy.hehe, I'm a really shy guy, really. So we were really just think of having dinner but have no idea where, so we just walk and walked. Finally Kamal and Jessica joined in. We continue to walk until Kamal had an idea. Kamal can really find good makan places. So we headed to Clarke Quey, Manhattan Fish Market for dinner. Its really all just Seafood. Its a nice place. Yitjing and Nicky join us right at that moment.

After dinner, we walked over to Gamer Haven. whooo! We decided to play Wii! OMG, I'm so addicted to Wii now. Love the Guitar Hero now too. We played the Game show and lastly, my Favorite, some Rabbit game. So damn bloody cute la the game!!! I love the pick up phone call game, cause I got really good at it. The music game is cool too. Love spinning the wheel in the Game Show. We played all the way till 1am. OMG, I can't believe I played and enjoyed myself till so late. And I wasn't even tired or sleepy at all. Chuan Lim joined at the last moment, so we ended by standing in a circle and just talk. Soon, we have to end it and go home. REST.

RIP MJ. Thanks for teaching the world POP.

Another saturday afternon.

2009-06-20T12:52:00.004+08:00

Last week was great, had 2 and half days off.

Went to PC show twice.

Watched Terminator Salvation with Hairul.

Played Left 4 Dead with Nasir, Firdaus and Hairul.

Went shopping, brought a new Trucker Cap, Nike Air Force 1, met Daddy at Sim Lim.

He wanted a headset just like mine. Haha!

Was chaotic back at the PC show.

Met buddy and Theo on Sunday and went to flee market and met Priscilla and Weini.

Great time with friends eh? I love going out nowadays.

I just realise, i miss someone. I loved someone. and I don't take to say it. I just wish that person knows it. but I don't think I am good enough.

You & him

2009-06-11T23:12:00.004+08:00

Bila cerita idamanku hilang begitu saja, tenggelam aku.

Bebas ku terbang ke arah mu. Masih cintaku tidak dapat kau sanjung.

Tidak ku sedar angin berganti arah. Ku terlena di buai helah.

Resah nian sulit rasanya.

Melewati segala yang kian berubah.

Masihku terus bertahan.

Meski ku sedar rahsia kau dan dia

Ku butakan sebelah mata, ku genggam bara.

Masih ku cinta, terlalu cinta

Sedia ku bankitkan kasih kita

Sedia ku melupa kisah kau dan dia.

Mengapa adanya....dia

Although I know the secret between you and him

I choose to continue loving you.

Timbuktu

2009-05-29T18:54:00.000+08:00

"The sun sets softly in the west,
and here we are at the end of quest.
I have found what I was looking for here in Timbuktu.
I must have courage now, so I can say 'I love you.'"

"Me and Tim went to the woods with emotions to vent,
When we came upon three women in a tent.
There was nothing else to do,
so I bucked one, and Timbuktu."

New Divide

2009-05-19T20:33:00.006+08:00

The new Linkin Park song is finally here. It was release yesterday and its now available for download on Apple stores. Its also the new sound track of this years most anticipated movie, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I can't wait for the movie. 24 June Babey!

New Divide-Linkin Park

I remember black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign, that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard
did I get what I deserve?
-
So give me reason, to prove me wrong to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross, the distance in your eyes
Give me reason, to fill this up connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies
Across this new divide
-
There was nothing in sight, the memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground gave in between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard, and I get what I deserve
-
So give me reason, to prove me wrong to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross, the distance in your eyes
Across this new divide
-
And every loss, and every lie
And every truth that you deny
And each regret, and each divide
Was a mistake to break to hide?
And your voice was all I heard, but I get what I deserve
-
So give me reason, to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross, the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this up, connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies
Across this new divide
Across this new divide
Across this new divide

PS: I have the soundtrack as soon as it came out! haha! I'm so happy kan. Thanks Linkin Park for another great song.=)

Sadden and Tired

2009-05-17T10:09:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was totally a night to forget. I was tired and extremely sad. Manchester United lifted the cup for the 18th time, and so does Inter Milan. How I wish 2nd spot Liverpool and AC Milan could win it. But I guess, we just have to wait for the next season.

This week has been hectic. Work non stop and had to work extra yesterday before finally getting a good nights rest. Stayed till 730 and only reaching home at 9pm. I guess it was one hell of a week. Sleeping at 12am every night just to play some games and waking up at 6am just to go work again. Work was all about standing, running around and carrying heavy objects. My arms are tired and my legs weak. My back are breaking and my neck is always sweating.

Hated standing in the MRT and bus while on my way to work. Really can't stand already. Extremely exhausted. But movie on Friday was great. The tiredness seems to go away for awhile. Thanks for the good times again guys.

I can't believe todays Sunday already. I just felt it was still Saturday.=(

My weekend, burned! grrr

I'm not happy now, still waiting for you call. Pls call, give me a sign, an SMS will do. Say you're alright. It will really help. Take care. bye.

Ouh Ibu~

2009-05-09T11:16:00.002+08:00

Orang kata aku lahir dari perut mak..

(bukan org kata...memang betul)

Bila dahaga, yang susukan aku....mak

Bila lapar, yang suapkan aku....mak

Bila keseorangan, yang sentiasa di sampingku.. ..mak

Kata mak, perkataan pertama yang aku sebut....Mak

Bila bangun tidur, aku cari....mak

Bila nangis, orang pertama yang datang ....mak

Bila nak bermanja, aku dekati....mak

Bila nak bergesel, aku duduk sebelah....mak

Bila sedih, yang boleh memujukku hanya....mak

Bila nakal, yang memarahi aku....mak

Bila merajuk, yang memujukku cuma....mak

Bila melakukan kesalahan, yang paling cepat marah....mak

Bila takut, yang tenangkan aku....mak

Bila nak peluk, yang aku suka peluk....mak

Aku selalu teringatkan ....mak

Bila sedih, aku mesti talipon....mak

Bila seronok, orang pertama aku nak beritahu.....mak

Bila bengang.. aku suka luah pada..mak

Bila takut, aku selalu panggil... "mmaaakkkk! "

Bila sakit, orang paling risau adalah....mak

Bila nak exam, orang paling sibuk juga....mak

Bila buat hal, yang marah aku dulu....mak

Bila ada masalah, yang paling risau.... mak

Yang masih peluk dan cium aku sampai hari ni.. mak

Yang selalu masak makanan kegemaranku....mak

kalau balik ke kampung, yang selalu bekalkan ulam & lauk pauk.....mak

Yang selalu simpan dan kemaskan barang-barang aku....mak

Yang selalu berleter kat aku...mak

Yang selalu puji aku....mak

Yang selalu nasihat aku....mak

Bila nak kahwin..Orang pertama aku tunjuk dan rujuk.....mak

Aku ada pasangan hidup sendiri....

Bila seronok, aku cari....pasanganku

Bila sedih, aku cari....mak

Bila berjaya, aku ceritakan pada....pasanganku

Bila gagal, aku ceritakan pada....mak

Bila bahagia, aku peluk erat....pasanganku

Bila berduka, aku peluk erat....emakku

Bila nak bercuti, aku bawa....pasanganku

Bila sibuk, aku hantar anak ke rumah....mak

Bila sambut valentine.. Aku bagi hadiah pada pasanganku

Bila sambut hari ibu...aku cuma dapat ucapkan “Selamat Hari Ibu”

Selalu.. aku ingat pasanganku

Selalu.. mak ingat kat aku

Bila-bila... aku akan talipon pasanganku

Entah bila... aku nak talipon mak

Selalu...aku belikan hadiah untuk pasanganku

Entah bila... aku nak belikan hadiah untuk emak

Renungkan:

"Kalau kau sudah habis belajar dan berkerja... bolehkah kau kirim wang untuk mak?

mak bukan nak banyak... lima puluh ringgit sebulan pun cukuplah".

Berderai air mata jika kita mendengarnya........

Tapi kalau mak sudah tiada..........

MAKKKKK...RINDU MAK.... RINDU SANGAT....

Berapa ramai yang sanggup menyuapkan ibunya....

berapa ramai yang sanggup mencuci muntah ibunya.....

berapa ramai yang sanggup mengantikan lampin ibunya.....

berapa ramai yang sanggup membersihkan najis ibunya.......

berapa ramai yang sanggup membuang ulat dan membersihkan luka kudis ibunya....

berapa ramai yang sanggup berhenti kerja untuk menjaga ibunya.....

dan akhir sekali berapa ramai yang sembahyang JENAZAH ibunya......

Cross paths

2009-04-29T21:08:00.002+08:00

Glitters filled the floor she stepped on. I was going down the escalator. My heart was beating heavily and my knees felt weak. I was nervous. There she was, as beautiful as ever. Nothing in the world can shine as bright as her. As so I feel deep down inside. The only one who can always make me shiver and freeze. I wanted to say Hi and even something more but I couldn't. We walked pass each other with just a wave and a smile. But that was enough to make my night a better one. I miss you. Thanks for making my teenage years worth living and thanks for bring out the best in me. You will always be, forever in my life, a morning motivation. Still remember I keep looking out for your bus to pass by, before going down and there again, we walked to school together. Remember the walk down the most memorial lane in my life. Even though we parted ways, I still regard you as the one who made me move on in life. Your words are still going strong in my heart. May you be forever bless and touch those lives you stepped into. I wish I can still thank you somehow, someway.

I just couldn't find the right words to say to you. I'm so sorry I wasn't even brave enough to say a word when we cross path. This path may never be cross again, I hope it will, some other day.

You know you drink too much coffee when...

2009-04-27T18:54:00.003+08:00

* You answer the door before people knock.

* You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

* You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.

* You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

* The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

* You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

* You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.

* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

* The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

* You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

* You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

* You can jump-start your car without cables.

* Cocaine is a downer.

* Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."

* You buy milk by the barrel.

* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

* You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize its not plugged in.

* Instant coffee takes too long.

* Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

* You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.

* Your Thermos is on wheels.

* Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

* You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

* You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

* You short out motion detectors.

* You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

* Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

* Your three favorite things in life are... coffee before and coffee after.

* Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.

* Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an IV hookup.

Stress Management Advice

2009-04-23T06:35:00.001+08:00

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone S$20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* Never buy a car you can't push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

HAVE AN NICE DAY !

Found Life

2009-04-19T21:15:00.002+08:00

Friday was one of the good days coming back to life. I didn't had much time in office. At 11am, I was out and back to BRTC to setup for a meeting among the DC and Directors. After setting up, we went NTU to eat and there were sure alot of chinese girls there. OMG, so many many daaa..more than NYP. Took a jeep to go there, how cool was that. My 1st time taking a jeep. I rush to the Masjid and was surprise to see my cousin there. Met a whole lot of old people when I was back in BRTC. Things sure change a lot but some things never change.=)

After the Inter Unit Relay Run, macam F1 car racing laaa, I met up with Hairul, Nasir and Firdaus! Whooo! the P-unit is back together again. Everytime we meet up, sure got some cock to talk. Hairul was with his "Pedophile smile". Firdaus with his Mat Kelantan style talk, remember "Setarbak Kopi" LOL. Nasir always got this funny style of telling jokes that I will never know how he does it, but it makes me laugh all the time. We went to eat and went jalan2 at Jurong Point. There sure was alot of new shops there and banyak orang laa... Crowded with people as usual. I wonder how people can come Jurong Point and filling it up everyday. It will never be empty. Soon, time flies and we have to split but the 3 of them will always stay close to my heart.=) See you at office again Hairul.

My knee isn't doing so well after the bang. Left is hurt bad. Right is still okay. I can't run already. My knee just hurts. I'm so dead now. I need to find a cure for this.

I guess I finally out on the weekends. I went to Tampines 1 all by myself on early Saturday morning. Even then, there were people queueing up at Uniqlo. I don't know whats so great about the shop. -__-" Other than that, the day was very boring. Stayed at home and told myself to go out on Sunday at all.

Here I am, Sunday. Went out to go jalan2 at town. Found Anand to go out with. I was just walking around HMV, looking at CDs and somehow, I felt happy. I found a reason to live again. I love CDs. I love music. So many of it, I just have to go around and listen to every one of it. We then went to Borders and again, I was glad to see all the book around me. I wanted to buy all the comics too. Next week, I would want to visit a comics store at Bugis and check out the new Shopping Mall. Whooo! and maybe get a new game for my "collecting dust" Xbox. Man, I sure have something to look forward to.

Currently listening to QWERTY- Linkin Park. I still love Linkin Park.=) Totally love their music. Inspired by them and will always love Mike Shinoda's art work.

I'm so in love with the Vitagen Commercial girl. LOL, okay that was random. She is hot.

Nightmares

2009-04-11T18:34:00.002+08:00

I had too many these days... I didn't know what struck me, but I'm having nightmares too often. I can sleep on one side, and waking up 180 degrees of my original position. Like from north and waking up south, east to west. I've been fighting too many creatures that are crawling out from my head.

Gargoyles, zombies, spiders, maggots, spirit reapers, orcs, pontianaks, vampires, werewolves...

Luckily there were no dragons.

the Wrong Bus

The dream began with me playing soccer at Kallang basketball court. I just finished my game of soccer and scored a wonderful hat trick and sweet victory for my team. I was making my trip back home and a friend of mine came from behind and ask me to accompany him home. He said he will pay for the bus trip. So I send him back, we talked on the bus. It was late, 10pm. So I told him I had to rush home since mum called me back. So i alighted a stop before his actual stop and cross over the road to take another bus. To my surprise, there we no bus for me to take from Potong Pasir back home. There was only bus 555. So the bus came and lucky me, it was heading for Toa Payoh.

When I boarded it, it was empty. No one was inside except for me and the bus driver. I guess it was late and no one would bother staying up late. So the bus made a move on, and soon after I realise I had not stopped for over a long time and it took a U turn to Macpherson road. I decided to stop at circuit road. I ask the bus driver, why he had not gone to Toa Payoh.

Bus driver: This bus don't stop at Toa Payoh. Can't you see its bus no. 666.

*shocked!*

I turn and look, there was no one. erm... So I alighted to see my old school of Macpherson Secondary. I soon find there were a lot of people alighting from the same bus. Not to worry, they are normal people. I was curious and thought it was only my imagination. It didn't bother my much at that point of time. I soon found that the bus stop had a jukebox installed. I decided to stop by and listen to some Jason Mraz songs. The headset was not even locked so I decided to steal it and put it inside my back. Now I wonder how I even got a bag with me. I soon turn to walk to the bus stop in front of Macpherson ITE. There were no busses that stop there!

So I was puzzled and confuse. So I went to walk and see what I can find. It was a ghost town. The clouds, dark as if it would rain soon. The place was very foggy and I can hardly see a thing. There were soft screams and a child crying. I try to see what is going on in there. I follow the trail of the voice. I soon met with a child inside a van. (I saw a child in a van crying in real life but decided to ignore him while I was on my way to work) I look and the child's eye turn black and turn blue. I ran as fast as I could. There was no looking back from that.

I find there we spiders crawling everywhere. Black widows and tarantulas were crawling all over. Creepy, they are my biggest fears at once. I ran trying to avoid all of them. Snakes we on the pipes of the ceilings. Non of them fell to the floor so I ran quicker. I decided to find someone that could help me. I couldn't find my phone and there is no way to call for help. My bad disappeared right after I kept the headset.

I took the lift to the 2nd floor when I met two teenagers. I followed them. They look relax as if they knew what had happen to this town. I asked them if they know what happen. silence. Tears followed after. They had no time to explain. The lift escalated to the 10th floor as if we were pulled by a force. The doors open. The two covered my eyes my I can smell and somehow found a way to see what happened. A man with his head out of his head with maggots crawling out. I jumped on the lift as hard as I could to make it go down to the 1st floor. I succeeded.

We ran only to find that we have disturbed a bunch of zombies who were resting. They ran towards us.( Left 4 Dead kind of zombies) We ran and ran. The two guys found a gun and began shooting their way out while I use my fist to punch my way through. There were so many of them.

I found my way through and saw a bus stop. I ran towards the bus stop. Before I could reach the bus stop, a bunch of pontianaks were chasing some people who survived the horrific town. Most didn't manage to survive after the pontianaks horrific scream. It was like a banshee I should say. I took my chance and ran. There was one chasing me but I manage to close my ears and block the scream. Guess what, its the headset I stole and it has noise cancelation. I was so glad I had it right in time. The bus came soon after , it was bus no. 334 and I boarded it. I made sure it was a bus to Toa Payoh this time.

I was totally breathless. I and I asked the bus driver, why he took a wrong turn and headed to the expressway. He said, we are going to Pasir Ris, not Toa Payoh. I was wrong again. And I ask him, what number? He replied, 444. I was in state of shock again. I can't believe I'm going to get into trouble and I have to work tomorrow! We reached Pasir Ris faster than I expected. I rushed to the MRT control station to tell them what happen. The guy was sleeping! I can't believe it. There was a man behind him and I called out to him. He turn and he don't seem to be doing so good. His face was pale and he told me that someone is calling out to me.

I turn and I found a spirit reaper. It was so dark, hallow. I couldn't explain my feelings back then, it was horrifying. I was scared to death. The dark soul, the death angel it seems. It tried to take my head but I dodge and ran. I fell from the slippery floor. My legs kicked its head while I was getting back up. I got back up and ran again. I ran and ran in fear. I was in great fear. I ran and ran and ran...

"fawze..bangun..(fawze, wake up)"-mum

My mum saved me. It was one out of 5 nightmares I had in this past week and each time I woke up, I found myself on the wrong side of the bed. I slept with my feet facing the door and I woke up with my head facing the door. Man, that was one story huh? I don't wish to have nightmares ever again..=(

Road to World Cup

2009-04-02T06:37:00.002+08:00

Leading to the World Cup, I learn some Korean along the way...=P

Have you ever noticed that Korean is like English??

1) That's not right ........ Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive ........ Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP ........ Kum Hia

4) Stupid Man ........ Dum Gai

5) Small Horse ........ Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach ........ Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped the coffee table ........ Ai Bang Mai Ni

8) I think you need a face lift ........ Chin Tu Fat

9) It's Very dark in here ........ Wao So Dim

10) I Thought you were on a diet ........ Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone ........ No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ........ Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight ........ Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile ........ Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive ........ Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great ........ Fa Kin Su Pah

17) Give it to me baby ........ Suk Mai Dong

18) England will win the World Cup ........ No Fu Kin Wai

19) Who's been eating all the pies? ........ Yo Fat Wan Ka

I guess I should just stick with Malay.=)

Stupid/Interesting Questions

2009-03-30T19:33:00.000+08:00

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Remembering Woodsvile

2009-03-29T21:14:00.002+08:00

How long is 2 weeks?

a. 14 days

b. 336 hours

c. 20,160 minutes

d. 1,209,600 seconds

e. All of the above

Apparently, I just can't wait for 2 weeks to go by. Reasons being? I can't tell. I see the light in 2 weeks time. Or I might see darkness flooding my heart once again. Why did I even choose 2 weeks anyway?

It was a great BBQ outing yesterday. Had a mini Woodsville Gathering at Pasir Ris Park. Enjoy myself while playing cards, eating and chatting. We had alot of catching up session. I see so much change in some and some things that will never change among us. That is, we are all still friends. We even sang the Woodsville Song! whoot!

I want to try and put the lyrics of my school song if i can remember it..lets see..

Let us strive with hearts and song for you school,

Our love, our second home

Let us strive with....(blah blah..)

A name to carve where we roam

In years to come, with love and pride

We...( blah blah..)

For woodsville, our best endeavors

Woodsville our alimental be reminded forever and long...

Pertama

2009-03-29T08:11:00.003+08:00

Kau ajar kan aku, segala yang ku tahu.

Tanpa mu ku kan jatuh.

Selalu di hati ku, walaupun diri jauh.

Kau tanpa ku mengadu

Ku tak kan mengerti, bagai bidadari.

Kau turun ke bumi.

Yang pertama di hatiku setiap masa

Apa nak di kata

Kau beri segala

Ku Pertama di hati mu,

yang perlu ku pertanya.

Hanya jiwa dan raga,

ku serahkan padamu.

What more can I ask...

You've done your very best

2nd Chances

2009-03-28T10:11:00.004+08:00

I took my chances. Made mistakes and feel sorry for myself. I'm pathetic.

But I'm happy it made me learn an important lesson I won't soon forget. Thanks for giving me a 2nd chance in life. I never ask for anything more. Okay, now thats all settled, lets move on.

Faz uploaded some nice old pictures that I want to share. It was March 2008. I can't believe a year pass so fast and I'm still stuck in this life. Serving NS and still being the same loser that I am now. Well, I finally got my confidence back after 3 weeks of not scoring a goal as a striker. Stupid and pathetic again. My fitness level is still low(27%). I feel very lazy nowadays, tired is an excuse.

I miss the G-wes, Firdaus, Nasir, Kamal, Kimo, Zaty, Faz, Ain, Yani, Sue and Hairul. I don't miss Hairul much cos I see him every weekday, and even Sunday. Gay ah, I feel like its FYP all over again. Me and Hairul always hang out together, laugh and make fun of people. I wish you all will be my friends for life. I love all of you. I don't ever want us to split kays?

We should have another G-we outing, acam, J tak? :D

Here are some old pictures from back in the days... I want more pictures since my HDD crash. Zaty! when want pass my the pictures, gay!

Love this pic.

When we are not ready for a pic

Tired faces

Spanking good time!

The ultimate Disaster Group. G-WE!

What people are saying

2009-03-27T19:30:00.006+08:00

Early morning. I just finished playing with my laptop and getting ready for work.

Mum:Gi siap cepat, nanti lambat...(get ready fast, later late)

Me: Okay mummy!

*goes to toilet to do business for the last time before heading for work.*

*wears uniform and tuck it all in and get socks*

While wearing my socks, I will see my mum taking the key and opening the gate for me. Then she will look down.

Me: Mummy, mummy tengok aper kat bawah?( Mum, what are you looking at down there?)

Mum: Mummy tengok budak2 gi sekolah.( Mummy watching the kids going to school)

Me: Knaper?(Why?)

Mummy: Mummy ingat2 lagi mummy antar OG(me) pergi sekolah dulu2.(Mummy remembering the time mummy send you to school last time)

I got this feeling how time flies and I'm serving NS now. I had a flash back every since she told me that too. Every morning, I walk on the same road I did more that 15 years ago. Its still the same old place. I can feel my hometown underneath my feet. I will never leave this place. This is the place where I was born and this is my family, my HOME. Nothing can take this away from me.

Things go bad and things change over time, but the one who is always there is my mum. I love her so much that I couldn't find the strength to leave her for another woman. I want to bring my mum to wherever I go. I will protect her with my life. You can mess with me, but you will never miss with my mum.

Left 4 Living

2009-03-22T22:09:00.002+08:00

Imagine Singapore being totally infested with zombies, all running around and eating each other up every time they are hungry. No one was saved and there were only 4 survivors. How will the 4 survivors get out of Singapore in time to tell the world of the outbreak. And is there anything that could stop the virus from spreading to the rest of the world?

Woke up a 6, did morning prayer and sleep back. Woke up again at 1030am. And damn, I think I'm going to be late! whoo!, rush rush rush and I was the 1st to reach Dhoby Ghaut MRT. Waited for Kamal, Nasir. We had KFC in the morning. Soon after, Hairul joined us and I didn't realise he came from the back and we walk together. And by the way, I forgot to message Fir! mati mati! haha.

So we played Left 4 Dead, it was the 1st time for me and Nasir, Kamal and Hairul played before. Wah, damn addictive. Now I feel like I'm in a world full of zombies that I just want to kill with my bare hands and guns. I love the part where dozens of them rush to me and we have to fight them all off. Cool, we should play again some day..=)

I just don't know if I should call you out. I'm scared. I'm fearful.

God, what should I do? I don't want to lose you...if only she knew.

Push

2009-03-21T20:46:00.003+08:00

Watched Push with you today.

It was an okay movie, the ending sucks though. I wish i was a "Watcher" now so I can see where life leads me to and I can change my future for the better=)

All I wanted to say...

You look so Beautiful today.

When you're sitting there, it's hard for me to look away.

So I tried to find the words that I could say.

I know the distance doesn't matter, but you feel so far away.

And I can't lie, every time I leave my heart turns grey.

And I want to come back home to see you face tonight.

You still look Beautiful to me.

Every time I turn around, I see you face.

The thing I miss the most is just sitting right next to you.

When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay.

And I'm tired of being all alone,

and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home.

Am I born to tell you I loved you?

I am torn to do what I have to make you mine, stay with me tonight.

New Husband Store

2009-03-21T10:14:00.001+08:00

A store that sells new husbands has just opened near my house, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to leave the building!"

So, a woman goes to the New Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4! - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 -These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor.

The sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the New Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited

DJ Fawever!

2009-03-15T22:03:00.003+08:00

I'm dreaming again and this time, to be a Deejay. Yes, DJ. LOL

I love music and mixing all kinds of music together. But I would love to bring people together. Its like the best feeling, bringing people with music. So today, I tried out the songs I have in my iTunes into my djay set. It was pretty cool and easy to use. :) My ears are tired now listening from non-stop music. I guess all I need now is a mic and abit of practice.

Ouh man, I'm day dreaming again.

I want a gundam toy and some transformers can? =O

Was so happy yesterday, Liverpool trash the league leaders, European Champions, English Champions and world best club, 1-4.

Penalty from Ronaldo gave the lead but was later equalize by Fernando Torres. Gerrard penalty gave Liverpool a 1-2 lead before the break. Aurelio free kick gave Liverpool a 2 goal cushion before Dossena lobs over Van de Saar to give the Red a victory over the Red Devils.

This shows that good always prevails against (d)evil.=)

Yesterday was also a nice day out. Went to Siddique's sisters wedding. It was a coincidence that his brother-in-law is my NS friend, Irfan. So I had a great time there, since I know quite a number of people. Even my uncle is a friend of his dad. After that, went to IT fair and got myself a new HDD to back up my files and a Headphone. =) I was accompanied by Zyzy. Had alot of fun, playing rugby, squeezing our way thur the crowd. Traffic jam and even got stuck on the escalator. But I'm so use to being suck there, since i love to jam the crowd by being stuck in the escalator.=P there was even this "TV Mobil TV Mobil.."LOLs *winks* had dinner at BK, wierd that I didn't feel hungry at all but Zyzy makan slow, tempt me je. She can really eat a lot.

Anyways, its been awhile since i blog a decent entry. Its always been crap, songs and more crap. I shall try to update more on how I'm doing and all else. I still hate NS, waste my time. But my pay is okay, not been spending much. Random questions...I don't know what I really want. Everything is still blur and nothing can be confirm. I'm so lost, but I'm sure I will find my way again.

Till then...I will just let the silence remain. I have no regrets. I don't know if there are any roads left ahead. But I will continue to run...

Never Again

2009-03-14T23:29:00.002+08:00

A song by Justin Timberlake. A sudden strike to my heart, guess it nice if it really means something, well, would have use to be meaningful but it means nothing now. You will never love me again.=)

Would have given up my life for you.

Guess it's true what they say about love,

It's blind.

Girl, you lied straight to my face,

Looking in my eyes.

And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life.

And all you had to do,

was apologize...

You didn't say you're sorry,

I don't understand.

You don't care that you hurt me,

and now I'm half the man,

That I used to be when it was you and me.

You didn't love me enough.

My heart may never mend,

and you'll never get to love me, again...

Sadness has me at the end of the line.

Helpless watched you break this heart of mine,

and loneliness only wants you back here with me.

Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me,

and all you had to do,

was apologize, and mean it.

I wish like hell I could go back in time.

Maybe then I could see how,

Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try.

But it's too late, it's over now.

My heart may Never Mend, and you'll never get to love me again...

ATM

2009-03-07T00:01:00.005+08:00

It all started with ATM. And just see what came out of it. all have A-T-M for every sentence.=) enjoy the story.

Atok the man

Atok tak mahal

Atok tinggal Marsling.

Atok teach Mathematics.

Atok takde misai

Atok technician melayu

Atok tester murah

Atok terlalu malas

Pada suatu hari,

Atok terpijak muntah.

Atok takda mood.

Atok takmo makan.

Atok terus mambuk.

Atok ter maki-maki.

Atok talk merepek

Atok tumbuk mambang.

Atok ternampak minah

Atok touch minah.

Atok tak miss

Atok too much..! eh?

Atok terpandang Makcik

Atok tengok Makcik

Atok terpekik.."MakCik!"

Atok tolong Makcik

Atok thinking macam-macam

Atok tercakap "Miss-you"

Atok ter-cium Makcik

Atok tak malu

Atok teruk mah

Atok tu ... MEMANG!

Atok tu me.

PS: Thanks cu for making this so funny and making me laugh all night. Your simply the best at making random shit come out.=)

An end of an Affair...

2009-03-01T21:06:00.003+08:00

This is a made up story, no points are intended to anyone living or dead.

Enjoy.

A black ring melted down to a bullet.

A bullet so dark and a shot would hurt.

I stared at myself, with nothing left.

I was scared and didn't realise what I had.

I thought it would be easy to let it be.

But it all ended, sadly for me.

I shot a gun right thru his chest.

Fought my way through the arrest.

I stared down myself, with all my needs,

I was scared and I didn't realise over what I did.

I think that I've out done myself today,

But it all ended, sadly for me.

Blood spill all over the corridors and ceilings.

Trying to find the evidence for his wrong doings.

I stared at the scene, with all the stains.

I was scared and didn't realise all her pain.

I was sure it would be him who had his way.

But it all ended, sadly for me.

Silence fill the cold dark sky and where I'm at.

It was a mistake and it filled me with regrets.

I stared at the grave, with everything gone.

I was scared and didn't realise that life goes on.

I was stuck in the memory and the pictures played,

And it i all ended, sadly for me.

Stranger

2009-02-25T19:52:00.001+08:00

Turn around,
Turn around and fix your eye in my direction
So there is a connection.
I can't speak,
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
I'm staring at perfection.

Take a look at me so you can see
How beautiful you are.

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.
I'm broke and abandoned you are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

I'm confident,
But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you.
I knew you could see right through me
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes
And I knew just what we'd turn into
I was hoping that you could see

Take a look at me so you can see...

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.
I'm broke and abandoned you are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

You are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

Take a look at me so you can see
How beautiful you are... {x4}

Your beauty seems so far away
I'd have to write a thousand songs
To make you comprehend how beautiful you are.
I know that I can't make you stay
But I would give my final breath
To make you understand how beautiful you are.
Understand how beautiful you are.

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.
I'm broke and abandoned you are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

You call me a stranger...
You say I'm a danger...
You call me a stranger...

Note: I was listening to this song on my way to work and my eyes was fix on this girl in the bus throughout the journey. And suddenly this song makes sense.=)

Soccer boy outs in the Sun & Rain

2009-02-22T21:31:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was one of those days. I finally get back to old school with the boys. My soccer peeps. Those who always come down every night to play soccer. The Kallang boys. My neighborhood friends Eventhough I don't know all of them, I roughly know their name. 20 of us, out at Sentosa. Left home at ard 1030am. Took a lorry 'ballak' from Bendemeer all the way to Sentosa. Funny things happen along the way. We were like those Bangla workers, but we were extra noisy. It was a very hot morning but all of us were hot too.=P

Upon entering, we need to pay to get in. Suddenly Wan laughed out loud. Then we got to enter Sentosa for free. I don't know what happen but i guess members nye pasal..haha. 1st thing we arrived at Palawan beach, I was like, "where is the goal post!?" Use to have it, but I guess its been removed. So we picked another open area to play our beach soccer. So we played and played, bathe and all. Then it started raining. But that did not stop us. I didn't count the number of times the lifeguard have to warn us. LOL, we were just so naughty. We were like the noisiest group there. Non-stop noise seyy, serious. Very kecoh. They were like cheer leaders the whole day. Funny thing was, tourist kept taking pictures of us when it was raining, cause were we the only group who didn't even care about the rain. We keep running and making noise, like red indians. Red Indians also lose out to us. We were very rowdy, trust me.

20 of us didn't help at all. We were like running after chicks but we never touch or harm anyone.=) We played in the baby pool, haha. We also tried to be cheer leaders by making a human pyramid. which was cool.The rain started at around 12 and all the way to 4pm. it was like 4 long hours of heavy rain. Its my 1st time to ever get caught up in the rain and it feels like I'm showering the whole 4 hours. Free Shower! oops, I paid to get into Sentosa kay! =P

*Free*

The day was great, I am so tired that I didn't blog this out earlier. I need more rest, still exhausted after a very long day at Sentosa. Pictures are on my Facebook=)

I miss mama...=) don't take it the wrong way kay.

Leading the way...

2009-02-17T22:01:00.003+08:00

"Permission to carry on Lance Corporal Fawze?"
"Carry on..."

The words that made my day.=)

Good day, good week and its only Tuesday. I'm tired. Much work to be done but I feel I have a team behind me to help out along the way. I can't believe I'm being made a leader and in charge again. Haiz..I wish I wasn't like this, I want to relax now.

Talked to you for 3 days. Miss you for 2 days. I just need one day out with you. Hope to love you forever.=)

Arh crap, I going out of my mind again. I'm probably dreaming again.

Anyways, I think we need to do this again Rozi and YC. haha=) I saw the pic and just feel like going out with the 2 of you again.=\

I want to start and don't ever want to stop. I should go out dating again. Sitting at home doing nothing will not help. Have to ask people out I guess.=)

Haiz, tmr have to help "lalat" draw a butterfly cause "Suria" people want to come do some filming in SCDF Innoventure Land. Guess the decorations will be done by me. Can I have more time to train my men to help me do my work. I feel like I just have to train everyone to do my work, I'm overloaded with work.

Leading the way again...

I'm happy today..but I'm starting to miss my nanny.=(

a Bit of Humor - the Obedient Son

2009-02-15T10:04:00.000+08:00

A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?"

The wife replies, "It's my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!"

"How does he drive you crazy?"

"For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."

The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?"

"He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!"

"Hmm, anything else?"

The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"

"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now."

So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy. She might even leave you."

The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?"

The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public--looking at the floor and never going near anyone else."

The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said."

"What did he say?"

"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"

The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry."

The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay."

The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public."

"Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."

The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity."

"Oh," says the husband looking very stupid.

"And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking."

"This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing."

"What did he say?"

The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said. Don't screw up."

the Dark Kid

2009-02-14T19:45:00.004+08:00

Tired, just plain tired. I wanted so much for this and I'm left with nothing. Desperate. I wanted it all, risk it all and fall without nothing at all. Blame it on me. I am at fault. I am that damn dumb. I am useless. I cannot be trusted with anything and everything. I don't know what I did wrong and my parents blame it on me. They never tell me anything and say I was in the wrong. I guess trying to avoid being at fault, but faults finds me. I don't know what will become of me in this world. I just wish to go soon.

Doing all the good I can in this world, never giving up hope. But everything and everyone sees me as a mistake. I try to bring justice but end up in prison for all the wrong doings you've done. Its better to die hero, but for me, I lived too long to see myself become a villain. I've been watching you, keeping and eye and watching your back. No one really appreciates that anyway. Its normal for humans to be blind. I don't blame them for it. No one is perfect. I am no one. No matter how much good I bring to this world, they chose to be evil. These people have not seen the light. For I bring darkness into each and every heart I touch.

I may not be what you expect me to be, I am never that important anyway. I'm just another face in the crowd and another piece of the puzzle in your world. It will not be complete without me. I may have change your life and made you think differently, change you perspective, your point of view. I wanted to do that, so you can see how much this world had poisoned you mind. I will stay up each and every night just to watch you sleep safe. This world has a lot to learn and so much change will come. For what ever the reason of change, it will not come without a sacrifice. I will not let that sacrifice be a soul of an innocent.

Just don't bother about me anymore. I will just be another boring guy. I will not be somebody. I will not make a difference. For the last 21 years of my life, I've change so much. I made so much of a difference. And for the next half of my life, I will stay hidden and will not make a move. Lets see how much the world will be without me.

I will not stand for all the money you cheat.
I will not hide from you when you want to meet.
I will not sit around to wait for the pot to heat.
I will not let you abuse power with greed.

I am...

I am just not powerful

2009-02-11T19:30:00.002+08:00

I can't change your feelings.
I can't turn back the hands of time.
I can't ask you to do everything I want you to.
I can't make you trust me.
I can't make you believe me.
I can't make you love me.
I can't make you hate me.
I can't change the way you think about me.
I can't influence people as I use to.
I can't win everything.
I can't stop death.
I can't have all the money in the world.
I can't fight back.
I can't let you lose.

No matter how good I am.
No matter how good I try to be.
There are just too many things that I can't do.
I am just not that powerful.

When I'm with you

2009-02-09T22:19:00.003+08:00

I'm taking my time,
I'm trying to leave the memories of you behind.
I'm gonna be fine,
As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind.

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you.
I wanna be the only hand you need to hold on to.
But every time I call you don't have time.
I guess I'll never get to call you mine .

You're nothing at all,
I know there's a million reasons why I shouldn't call.
With nothing to say,
could easily make this conversation last all day.

Another lesson I didn't get to learn.
Your my obsession.
I've got nowhere to turn.

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you.
I wanna be the only hand you need to hold on to.

I guess I'll never get to call you mine.

2 different outings on 1 weekend

2009-02-08T18:20:00.005+08:00

It was very tiring. On friday night, went to Timbre fro AO's 21st birthday chill out. Handed him a shoe bag as his present. Liverpool all the way bro! Drank only plain water as there is so much alcohol there and I couldn't drink it. It was quite a nice place to just chill out with friends and hear to a live band perform. The girl had such a beautiful voice and the band was terrific. Can just play any songs we throw at them.

After Timbre, went on to watch a movie at Marina Square. Its was such a sad movie and very long one too. I love the part ..." Did I ever tell you I was struck by lightning 7 times?" It was a great story and Brad Pitt is so hot kan? I wonder if ever, the clock runs backwards, I just wish I could have stayed longer with you and hope it stops at my favorite part. I miss you and will always love you. After the movie, AO sent me home. We were like on the road, 2am in the morning. I was so sleepy, reach home and fall on the fall straight.

Saturday was another day and another outing. Expected to meet around 20 plus people, but only 6 made it, including me. I purposely came 15 minutes late cause non of us would come so early. Zaty was lost and so she was excuse. yeah right... We headed to Lau Pa Saat for out dinner. We seriously don't know what to eat, so we just order. Zaty treat kan? haha, looks like it at the start.

After dinner, we went walking beside the Singapore river. It was a cold, quiet night. Zaty took out her camera, and we went camwhoring lor! with tripod stand and all, we took pictures of the stars and moon, i was hoping to take pic with the sun too.=) Pictures can be found on my Facebook. Having 6 people is so easy to manage and everyone of us enjoyed ourselves. Zaty wanted to go Starbucks, so we go. Everything also follow Zaty, because she is so damn "gay". Bang!

Last Day as a Private

2009-02-01T19:45:00.004+08:00

1st of February, the official day. I finally get promoted to a Lance corporal. Here are the last photos of me being a private. Its been a good life staying at SCDF HQ and hope it will stay that way. I think I will be busy for the next few months and just waiting for the year to end. Let the pain come and bring in all the obstacles, cause LCP Fawze is here! 6 more months and hopefully get my next promotion. Till then, stay tune kids.=)

Parents went to Kuala Lumpur for my cousins wedding. The last time my cousins got married there, I was still in primary 3. KL was great, staying in the kampung all, drink milo early morning at kopi shop. I miss the A&W the most I guess. Hope I can go there again. Miss all the kampung life. I want go back Kampung, so fun to run after all the chicks..I mean Hens and Rosters. HAHAHA!

Okay, Valentines day is coming soon. Who want be my Valentine? I've never had one anyway.=(

King of Kings

2009-02-01T11:19:00.002+08:00

Behold the king

The king of kings

On your knees, dog

Hahahahahaha!

All hail

Bow down to the... bow down to the king!

Bow down to the... bow down to the,

King grinned red, as he walked from the place, hahahahaha

Where the traitor lost both his name and his face

Through the halls and the corridors, stinging in blood

He tasted his grin, and it tasted good

The king took his head

Left him broken, and dead

Bow down to the... bow down to the king!

Bow down to the... bow down to the,

King left none living, none able to tell

The king took their heads, and he sent them to hell

Their screams echoed loud, in the place of their death

Ripped open they died, with their final breath

They hailed the king

The king of kings

Bow down to the... bow down to the king!

Into the dirt

This will be done

Now feel your fear

Their can be only one

Bow down! Bow down! Bow down to the...

Bow down! Bow down! Bow down! Bow down to the...

Bow down! Bow down to the... Bow down to the...

Bow down to the king!

Bow down to the...

Bow down! Bow down! Bow down!

The king is here

Now feel your fear

The king of kings

All hail, all hail the king

On your knees, on your knees for the king

The king of kings

There is only one

Voices

2009-01-31T17:39:00.004+08:00

I hear voices in my head

The council me

They understand

They talk to me, they talk to me!

They tell me things that I will do

They show me things I'll do to you

They talk to me, they talk to me!

You got your rules and your religion

All designed to keep you safe

But when rules start getting broken

You start questioning your faith

I have a voice that is my savior

Hates to love and loves to hate

I have the voice that has the knowledge

And the power to rule your fate

I hear voices crying

I see heroes dying

I taste the blood that's drying

I feel the tension rising

All the lawyers are defenseless

All the doctors are disease

And the preachers all are sinners

And the police just take the grease

All you judges you are guilty

All the bosses I will fire

All you bankers will have losses

And politicians are all liars

I see darkness falling

I hear voices calling

I feel justice crawling

I see faïth has fallen!

There's no 2 of you.

2009-01-26T22:23:00.005+08:00

"I'm still reaching out for you

I'm still yearning for your return

I will keep loving you

Even though...

You're only my imagination"

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

What a wonderful day its been for me and everyone else. The year of the Ox is here.

Slept late to watch a boring draw between Liverpool and Everton. I was like scolding the TV because LIverpool keep trying out the same move which didn't work. I wish I was the manager.:P So hadn't had enough sleep and there goes mum, waking me up early in the morning just to be early at east coast. Fear that there will be no space for us to sit.

It was a hot hot day, thats all I can say. Played with my cousins. Tried a whole lot of new things today. I'm beginning to be positive to myself and say yes to almost everything. I should try to learn as much as possible and never give up. Well, I guess it paid off. I learn much from trying out. There's always a first for everything. Attracted so much attention today with people looking at me fall and nearly killed myself..haha

"Meski ku sedar

Rahsia kau dan dia

Ke butakan sebelah mata

Ku genggam bara

Masih ku cinta (terlalu cinta)"

What if one day, I ever have to do this. I don't know if I can live another second doing it. I need to audit PUB soon. Haiz, anyone want to help me. I just need one question a week. damn! Its sucha shitty job to do. I don't like to test people and how they do their work.

I feel like I'm always wrong sometimes. I'm letting people win without a fight. But I can always stop that. I can defend myself till the end of the game. Its weather I want to or not. Football is still the most beautiful thing in my life. I just wish to find something else.

"You can change your style, but you can never change who you are."

Everytime I see your name pops, it hurts me...alot. Somebody save me from myself. What if one day, I ever have to fight my fears, stop the world from destroying itself. Its a big role to play but someone just gotta do it. In life, we need to keep telling ourselves that we can. Say yes and believe we can. We know nothing but cry when we 1st landed on this world. But we can train our mind to learn and do things. Anything is possible.

I kept on thinking that she will come back. I wish she is still here. watching me live my life. I want her but she don't want me. Why so sudden ehh? I just want to see you again. I don't want to stand another day without you.

"I can only complete my perfect painting on the day I found you"

40 tips for a better life in 2009

2009-01-20T18:56:00.002+08:00

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.

7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured IN plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds, & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realise that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or e-mail them!)

37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Share this with those you care about. I just did. May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing but happiness come through your door! J

Be stress-free… and smile, you’re best when you’re smiling! Enjoy the rest of the week!

Don't go Kaka'

2009-01-18T20:42:00.005+08:00

Pato(left) & Kaka'(right)

It could be the end of an affair. Kaka' is moving to Manchester City. I hope he doesn't. No Kaka' no! I want to protest! I don't want Kaka' in Man City, I want him to stay in Milan. He will be missed if he goes. Just too much is on the line. Man City don't deserve the best player in the world today.

Yesterday, I was back in camp for my duty orderly. Reach HQ at 830pm sharp. Rota 3! most of the provost were chinese. But they were nice people. All armed with PSP and playing the whole night just to keep themselves awake. Glad I know Fauzi. Haha, they keep calling me when there is another guy with the same name.

Spent the night watching movies, Wanted, Hitman, Ironman and Dark Knight. Didn't get enough sleep since it was such a cold night and there is no place to lie on. I just close my eyes while siting on a chair. My whole body ache badly after that. I never want to do such duty again. I still got around 4-6 more duties to go before I ORD. sians -___-"

Final question, who would you have in your team? Pato or Kaka'. Who is hotter? If Kaka' leaves, I guess I will still be supporting Pato. Good luck Kaka' and all the best. Pato is going to shine!=

-Best Players-

10 random facts

2009-01-15T19:45:00.002+08:00

I was tagged by SzeKee. So I guess I will just do this quiz for fun.=)

Rules must be followed:

Each blogger must post this rules.

Each blogger must start with ten random facts about themselves.

Bloggers that are tagged need to write about their own blog, ten things and post this rules.

Don't forget to leave them comments telling them they have been tagged and are to read your blog.

10 Random Facts about me.

1. I love to make a good long lasting impression on people.

2. I am very nervous when it comes to meeting girls.

3. I like to think I'm better than everyone else.

4. I love to play as a center forward.

5. Primary 4 was the last time I took MC, never again.

6. I hear earth crying sometimes.

7. I will never ask a girl for her number if I don't know her at all, even if you dare me to.

8. I will love hugs and kisses.

9. I am FAT ( Friendly And Thankful)

10. I am very picky/choosy/frickle minded and love to change my decision.

1. Who's the person that tagged you?

Sze kee.

2. Relationship between you and him?

My darling, friend, camwhore pal.

3. Three impressions of her?

#1 She is small girl

#2 She loves to give that look when I joke about her..-__-"

#3 She has to stay home most of the time cause of her parents =(

4. If she becomes your enemy, you will?

I will put her in box, and lock it. Throw it down the Singapore River and hope no one finds it.

5. What will you say to the person you like very much?

Untukmu kasih, I'll give the very best of me. I'll be there when you're needing me.

6. Characteristic I like about myself?

My patience,

7. Characteristic I hate about myself?

I care too much.

8. For the person whom you hate, you say?

Do what ever you want, just don't disturb me.

9. What do people feel about you?

I think they feel I'm a nice person.

10. Your crush?

She is still single=\

On.

2009-01-12T21:00:00.002+08:00

Fawze is a good boy.

Fawze can do anything.

Fawze can even do the impossible.

Fawze can be trusted.

Fawze is a responsible boy.

Fawze is very free.

Fawze never complaints.

Fawze can take stress.

Fawze this, Fawze that. One thing Fawze is not, is perfect. Fawze is still human. Fawze can take all that and more, but how much more can Fawze take. You got 4 people under you and you love calling Fawze. You got your own boy to help you do your work and you still ask Fawze for help. Fawze specialize in...Everything and Anything?! No way.

Fawze wants to be lazy, wants to WALI. Fawze is like BPR. Fawze don't want any of it. I guess its best to treat everyone fairly. But Fawze remembers one thing, life is never fair to anyone. Disappointments. Yes. Shock to see who actually bothers about me. Never thought about it. Still wish you were here. With you.=)

Note: WALI stands for " Walking Around, Looking Important."

BPR stands for " Boleh Pakai Ramai, Biar Pakai Ramai, Bagus Pakai Ramin, Best Pakai Ramai."

Suria Hati Fawze

2009-01-11T21:03:00.003+08:00

Yay! Its been playing in my head for 3 days straight and I finally can listen to the song. Suria Hatiku by Taufik Batisah. Love the chorus...

"For you my Love, I'll give the very best of me..."- Taufik

Kau s'lalu membarakan semangat ku.

Biar hari ku mementang waktu, Tetap kau suria hatiku!!! Taufik is still the best Singapore Idol. And he is always my idol.=)

Anyways, weekend was okay. Didn't get to meet with the people I wanted to see. One- Firdaus. Two- Amin. Miss this two close buddies of mine. Last minute changes and it always happens. Life is never a smooth road. But I did meet up with Hairul, Kamal and Nasir on Saturday. Then went to buy the Taufik-Suria Hatiku today with Anand.

Today was okay, disappointed at myself that I couldn't help mama in flash. I have lost most of the flash knowledge. NS is just too slacking and I hope to gain something from it, which is just not happening at the moment. I miss you, mama, cucu, erna. I don't know, but I miss talking to these people. maybe there is more, but I thinking of a few. Ally, I don't know whats happening, maybe you're busy with something, catch up soon. xoxo =P

"Cintamu suci, tak berbelah-bagi. Isi hatimu, takkan ku mengerti. Kan ku abadikan saat denganmu di dalam lukisan hidupku..."- Taufik

hehe, semangat giler singing to myself.hehe..=D

Dead line

2009-01-06T21:53:00.002+08:00

My blog looks so dead. My friendster already died. My email is like full with spams. My Facebook is dying with a few games I'm still playing, so its okay. My handphone is dead with no SMS or calls. At the rate I'm going, I won't top up my prepaid for another 3 months...

5 Years passed...

2009-01-03T20:41:00.003+08:00

Arrange the words so they form a proper sentence... ( Eat/ Can/ You/ All)

All-You-Can-Eat.

Eat-All-You-Can.

Can-You-All-Eat?

Eat-You-All-Can?

-___-"

Only 4 words and you can make up so many sentence. What if this was in my english paper,sentence construction. Die la liddat..How liddat? So many answers...I miss doing english comprehension, composition... I miss Secondary school. I miss Woodsville Secondary School ( WSS) . I miss the teachers, running away from Discipline Master (DM). Trying to make friend with DM. I miss creating trouble and get to talk with the principle in his/her office.

I miss staying back and cleaning the class room. Doing homework in school, fighting with the Technical Class. I miss eating Softea and drink Slurpee. I miss going home, carrying a stick and beating my friends with it, for fun. I miss catching spiders,frogs,lizards, caterpillars...

So today, I decided to go out with old school pals for a great time. But only manage to get 2 of them. So I decided to go their house and knock on the door. Whoo! like policeman liddat..So I manage to get my old buddy, Amin, handphone number. Its great to hear from an old buddy again. And first thing he ask me was, " got girlfriend already not?" I was like repeatedly saying no and he don't even believe me. Am I expected to have one after 5 years? Well, I wish I could say yes, but 'no' just keep coming out from my mouth. Sad isn't it? Maybe I should just lower my expectations and try to go with the flow. Hope this year will be the year. Last year was a very depressing year and I'm gonna let the past slide... Good nites.=)

A look back->

2009-01-01T09:52:00.003+08:00

2008.

Will forever be the year I regretted everything I did and missed out everything I did not do.

It has been the worst year of my life. With some good things that happen but the worst always stays in long memory. Had to struggle with FYP and only manage a B for it. Miss out on not saying the things I want to say to her before a long goodbye. Wanted things to go right but ended up on the wrong path. My mistake and I paid for it.

I've not been in the best of mood. The only thing that is keeping me going are the games that I have. I just kept on gaming to stay alive. Monster Hunter 2, Football Manager, Cabal Online, DotA, Fifa 09 and Fable II. If not for games I would have gone out and commit some crimes and I wouldn't come back home.

Enlisted on 8 July, it was the start of the worst time in my life. I totally hate NS. I feel its a total waste of time. Being stranded and ask to live together with a bunch of dumb people. What better can I ask for in my life? Its like teaching me to live with a bunch of animals doing some crazy shit I never want to do in life. Eventhough it is still a waste of time, I still need to get it done. Its just another obstacle and I'm going to run it down.

Feb ends my 3 years connection with NYP and I graduated on June. It wasn't such a great Graduation as it was filled with mistakes. I didn't manage to say goodbye to everyone. I was very sad that day eventhough I appear to be happy. The day was too short for me and I wasted most of it. I miss all my friends there. I miss schooling.

After NYP, i was left with few months before NS. So Sara intro me a job. Its was a pleasure working with Kimo and Mervyn again. We keyed in car plates while sitting down at the carpark. Just to see how many cars come in and out. And the pay was good too. I still remember sitting down with Mervyn and doing stupid things. Missed the times while I was just sitting in his car and singing songs with him. It was a moment to remember.

Back home, I was filled with troubles whenever it comes to Hari Raya and even Christmas. I always fight with my parents and I blame it on my sister. She thinks home is school, treating family like students? Ouh please laa... I just don't get it. My sis shows total disrespect and I will have to pay for it. She thinks she is so funny, well I'm not laughing. She is just plain boring and I will never want to talk to her again. It really spoils my mood every time she opens her mouth. I rather keep quiet about it but I told mum about it. I just want to say this to sis..." Chicken is ayam, Duck is Itik. Lu tutup lu punya mulut pun cantik!"

Okay after all the bad times, I want to remember those great times. I guess going for Orientation 08 was good. I met up with SK, Erna, Mama and Ally right after it. Then the EXCOs went out to eat and chill out at Starbucks Suntec till late night. VoiceOut 08/09 wasn't that bad as I took many great photos and enjoyed myself to great time. BandzOut was good as we get to see our seniors back and took pics with them. I even went back walking with Azzy and Aini, my Fav 2 seniors of all time. At the event, I also saw her, SMS and she don't even save my number anymore. Wanted to talk to her but she was too far away. And back home after that, I wrote something I shouldn't have a regretted badly. Phat nite wasn't all that great. I was back from camp and didn't have any strength to party much. So I just sat in the VIP room and soon after found out how much I missed. Regretted again. Before I forget, we went for a little Karaoke on on of the days.=P

A day at marina barrage was one of the great days I had this year. Celebrating Christmas again with the favorite people in my life. Hairul got my present! and I got Kamal's. Took tons of pictures. and played with Firesticks. Then we played charade and remember the way we celebrate for everytime we guessed it correctly.." black is black is black is black..uch uch uchuch.." yeah! then we played out favorite game back in Moon cake festival. I guess we still have it. Should have taken a video but it is always a moment to remember and the video keeps playing in my head for every game.

I was posted to SCDF HQ and safe to say that its not as bad as I thought. Met a few great people and not so great people. My name is famous on the 1st day already as people keep screaming my name at the Parade Square. Shit. I was just about to keep a low profile. Now everyone knows me. And see me grow to become an IC as a Private. I guess I'm growing faster than everyone else. I'm in the Service Quality Dept on the 8th floor. Why does everything have be on the 8th floor? -__-"

Okay, I'm tired of looking back as there are so many things to type in one post. Anyways I would like to thank some people for making my year of 2008 a fruitful one. Not according to any order... Mum for taking care of me and cooking great food and buying even greater food. Dad for buying me a new TV, supporting me all the way and getting a MacBook Pro and XBOX 360 for me. It was great and I really appreciate it. Bro for keeping me updated with stuffs only he knows of. Sis for keeping me on my toes and help me in anger management.

Friends... Halimah for all those virtual kisses and kissing, muacks. Asra for still talking to me eventhough we parted a long time ago. Ananda for keeping my weekends great and still keeping in touch. Acan for recruiting me and playing soccer with some great players and trying to get me fit again. Nasir for smiling and asking me outs for breaks and playing Monster Hunter. Hairul for being like a close brother and eating together and many stuffs together. Firdaus for still being that great Gamer and a greater friend who always walk me to school. Kamal for the funny moments and being able to talk to you anytime. Yew king for being there and always able to go out when theres no one else. Hidayat and Shikin for keeping me awake at nights for DotA and going out often on weekends. Bugis seems to be our fav place and accompanying me to buy me stuffs. Fana for being able to talk anytime and anywhere, eventhough we never met, I know you have been great friend. Rozi for accompanying me to Queensway and always able to talk to you about anything and random stuffs only we know of. Yuan Ching for being able to go out with me when there's no one else and ask me to accompany you to places, I never know anyone else would. Aida(boocuk) for talking to me on my visit to school and always being my one and only boocuk. Erny for those crazy moments and talking and keeping me updated on things, will take care kay...Erna for always looking for me when she's online and talking to me about almost anything. Sze kee for being my darling and missed going out with you too. Mama for the cup cake and one night walk and dinner. Miss mama always and you are always cuter than b la..Nanny Joyce for talking to me through out the year and always keep me on my feet when I'm only able to crawl at any point of my life. Nana for the hurt and pain but I will still forgive you for everything and I still miss the times we shared.Sara for giving me a job and always there for a chat and keeping me happy with those hard baked cookies. And keep on laughing girl...Ally for being wild and crazy and saying the nicest things to me to keep me feeling that I'm still needed in this world, you kept me going girl. Fadilah for being so pretty. Marzura for being the best and always available even though taken. Ishak for being a great teacher. Isaac for being there to guild be along. Jim for being such a crap and funny guy. Irfan for being nice always and taking responsibility. Ismail for being such a one of a kind friend and being emo with me. Realise how many 'I's I have in my Dept. Firdauz for being the best ustaz I can ask for and treating me and believing I am still a good person.Ashy for keeping my FYP great fun with those every day lecture and I miss Cheryl Mallery.. Cheryl Ong for still being the best buddy I could ask for. AO for being a great soccer fan and always supporting Liverpool...

Everyone still thinks I can be good. But what if the dark side takes over me...

I would like to think I'm still good and will always be good. Thanks for 2008.

Just another day.

2008-12-31T19:35:00.002+08:00

For the next year(2009), here are the things to get done:

Get a car license.
Finish a year of NS.
Don't get charge for what ever reason.
Don't take MC.
Change phone by the end of next year.
Plan for what to do after NS.
Install XP on my Macbook Pro
Get promoted to CPL before year ends.
Find a new hobby and things to do on weekends other than gaming.
Get fit to play Soccer again.
Try to learn to control my dark side.
Find a new girlfriend, if that's even possible.
Strengthen my iman and pray 5 times a day.
And don't emo and complain so much.

These are what I need to achieve before the year 2009 ends. A new year comes and I just feel like its just another day...

Destiny

2008-12-25T22:21:00.002+08:00

I will not post what I feel right now. I feel like shit kay?

So many things happen. Its like it always happens on a happy occasion. It seems like this year, it keeps happening on a great day for everyone and it will turn out to be a bad day for me.

I anticipated that it will be the same for New Years day. Can anyone save me? I just can't seem to save myself. Destiny awaits...

The drug and the addicts.

2008-12-22T22:01:00.002+08:00

First question, do I look like a drug addict? Do I take drugs to live? yes no? I don't. Its been the third time I took a urine test this month. I wonder if they realize it was me again for the third time running. Maybe they just love watching me pee into the bottle or love the smell of my urine? Or maybe my urine is a cure to cancer and they are taking some valuable samples. After look at both negative and positive points, I don't really know why I need to go for many urine test. -__-"

Anyways, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs. My addiction is competition!!!

Get you gaming set box ready coz I'm going online again this Christmas! okay, I don't know if I have anything better to do than gaming? No one is going out ehh? I hate staying at home. Now I realize how much I miss going out. But today I went out, like finally and in my uniform which is so hot as I had to cover myself with my jacket so no one will know I from SCDF. but den again, people do look and stare at me. Maybe its because they think my boots shine a lot a lot..:P

Met up with old SIT club friends, YC and AL. Had dinner with them at a food court. YC recommended me this Indon dish which I waited very long for since the queue was so bloody long. But it was worth the wait. Must go eat it again some other time. We were at Plaza Singapura, shopping for stuffs YC was looking for, so we just accompany her around. Then I thought I saw some one I know at Daiso. Believe or not, its been like 3 years or so since I saw Nadya. haha, but I didn't talk to her or what. Guess I just walked away.

On the way back home, I was looking at some couples walk together and a flash back came to me. I was looking back at those old days. It flash to me that I was at Orchard Road looking across when I saw her standing in front of HMV. Its like her face was the only one I saw. Then it flash to me again, we walking around Causeway Point and I held her hand for the 1st time when we were going home together. 3rd flash came to my head and it was us eating together in LJS. 4th one was us talking at blk L lvl 5. fhew..5th was us walking from YCK MRT to school. So many flashes came to me at one time and I was so blur I need to put my head down and rest.

Fhew...those were the times I had and the bestest time of my life. I wish I could have it all back, back to the days... Guess its all gone, I have to move on. A year passed and things change. Nothing about this world is ever the same.

Your still a drug I just can't get my hands off. I need to see a doctor...soon.=p

SQD Dept Outing.

2008-12-21T23:17:00.004+08:00

I just feel I should upload these few pics here. These are my current department people. SQD rocks! happy ORD-ing Erry and Jim!=) hope you will have a great life outside and god bless. Maybe I should intro you the people working with me... From bottom left..Hamdan, Khairuazzman (Erry Guerrero) and his GF. Top from left, Irfan, Isaac,Ismail, Imran(Jim), Safwan, Raqib, Hafiz, ME and Ashfaq Alam. Service Quality Department NSFs of SCDF.

Stress on my back

2008-12-21T19:44:00.002+08:00

Been such a hectic week for me right after my one week break. Its like everything thats not done is on me now. All the left over work is on my shoulders and its starting to hurt my back. I got this whole list of work to do and I don't think I would give anyone else to do it cause my 'juniors' are not yet trained to do it. So there I was having a lot of problems in office and not to mention the problems I have out of it.

Okay lets list out the things I kena'. Ermm. I was caught for having long hair and was force to cut and show the next day. Kena urine test cause they scared I might be taking drugs cause eventhough I sick and dying, I seem to come to work everyday and don't seem to be tired. But I am tired and I don't take drugs. I'm just superhuman sometimes. I was force to march as the 'penanda' for a few or should I say multiple times for failing to march properly. I was to design and do a layout for the office and redesign everything. Like become Interior designer already. I got like 5 reports to do in one day and its not those short short ones and I ask my 'junior' to do also useless, more mistakes and more headache for me. I printed like 3 cartons of paper which is like 500 per stack and 4 stack in one carton..adds up to 6000 paper used in 2 days that I did printing. superly crazy amount I should say. That does not include the other times I made mistakes and print and print like no body business.

And this amounts to such great amount of stress and on Thursday, I woke up in the morning feeling a bit down. Then I sneeze and guess what. My whole body was paralyzed for a moment. I could feel my lower body. After a while, I felt a huge pain on my spine. I think I dislocate my nerves somewhere. It really felt like my kidney had gone somewhere else and it really hurts until now. Had a hard time walking and my leg is so hard to control as it don't want to even move sometimes. Its really weird but I at least I can move it most of the time. Thank god.

I hope this pain goes away soon and without seeing any doctor. I hate seeing doctors.-__-"

Liverpool VS Real Madrid! Juande Ramos VS Rafa Benitez! Raul VS Gerrard! Reina VS Casillas! Diarra VS Mascherano! Guti VS Alonso! Cannavaro VS Carragger! Higuain VS Torres! I can't wait!!!=)

Okay enough of that, if you ask me how life is now, I would say its really boring. Too much work over my head. I need something, I think I need someone. But kinda think about it again, why would I? The missing part of me is still missing I guess. Let it be, for now...

The Perfect Gift

2008-12-12T09:47:00.005+08:00

A HUG

Relieves Tension

Improves Blood Flow

Reduces Stress

Non-polluting

Helps Self-Esteem

Generates Good Will

Absolutely NO cost

No batteries required

Non-taxable

Silent performance

Extremely personal

Fully returnable

Get one today!

Looking forward.

2008-12-10T18:17:00.004+08:00

I think I tried too hard to fix what is wrong than doing things that is right. It might sound weird but ..err..let me explain.

Every time there is something coming up, I will be so stress up and trying to get everything right. I spend too much time planning and making sure everything goes to plan. But actually, I should let the event just flow and try to enjoy myself.

I kept on thinking like an adult and try to prevent so many bad things from happening. Like preventing myself from getting bored. Which I will plan to play my PSP and listen to music. So before I leave home, I will need to get it all right and fully charge them. Then I will tend to forget some great things in life like..enjoying myself with friends.

My mind is always floating somewhere else. I always think about tomorrow and what the future lies for me. And I think, its hard for me to think about the present. I will never enjoy myself at any point when I'm thinking to myself, what will be next for me. As a matter in fact, I will not enjoy any of the moments we use to have. I think I've been like this for quite some time now.

I hope it goes away. Or maybe I've change for good.

I always think of what I should do in future and how it will effect me. I tend to get lost and if things don't go as plan, I will lose myself and tend not to carry on anymore. I quit easily nowadays. But only with people will I carry on again.

I can't even save myself from falling, how do I expect to save anyone else. I'm becoming evil. I can feel it. Why is this happening? I hear the evil voices in my head now.

Remember that there was a hero who was the hope of the universe on his hands, and turn evil. Instead he took the world on his feet and step on it. That's what I feel is happening to me now.

Will I turn on the world I love so much?

No turning back eh?

Just shut up will you.

I am no longer your puppet.

Turning grey...

2008-12-08T18:37:00.002+08:00

So what, I end up turning into something no one wants to be. I use to be green and now I'm grey. I don't think I can be what you want me to be. Even if I was, you couldn't even see it in me. How could you think of me as the bad apple? Why is he always the good one when I'm the one one who always helps you in everything and listens to you always. I'm sick of it. Being treated like some animal. Doing all the things I don't want to. Doing all the things you ask me to and what do I get. Get stupid comments and being lectured for things I would never do. I hate being lectured. Am I stupid even after getting a diploma. I'm not broken and I'm still doing well. So why do I deserve to listen to those everyday nags kids usually get? I feel sorry for myself. I wasn't able to prove to you that I can be trusted and I'm matured enough.

I hate being treated like a kid. Start treating me like an adult or I will never end up being one.

Every hari raya turns out to be a bad day for me this year. Yes, I was down again today. I was suppose to go to somewhere but end up staying at home just because I had some disagreement somewhere along the way. And the rain didn't help it one bit. Its all the rains fault. IF it never rained, things might turn out different. Having all these thoughts on my head. It really starts to haunt me everyday. When will i finally be treated as an adult? Cos' I still feel I'm lost kid and a baby. I just wish I could cry again and spill all the milk on the floor.

And I need a new phone. Thats the reason I would never pick up your calls. My phone is dying on its own. Every time I want to change and prove to my dad that its really dead, it will auto revive. Smartest phone in the world, indeed. It leaves me when I need it and comes to me when I'm leaving it.

Glad to be a friend

2008-12-01T21:43:00.002+08:00

Thanks for being my friend.

Even though we might not see each other everyday or every weekend.

You will always remain in my heart.

No matter the distant, I will think of you when we're apart.

Ouh well. Thank you Ally!

Let me see, how we first started. I was walking around block L, and somehow you spotted me. I love going to the club room which was then at level 5 of block L. I never thought any freshie would spot me since I'm only an advisor of the Orientation and people don't really bother I guess. But you spotted me. hehe, which is pretty cool. So I first notice you when you added me on friendster. HAHA, I still remember k. From there we build on our friendship. I don't know how but we slowly did. I was friendly and you were too. Always type in caps, I guess you love talking out loud eh, don't wanna miss a word you say. You're very open in talks, eventhough you talk softly when we met. I know you just trying to show decency and respect. I understand you, and so you too. At the end of it, we became friends. Whenever you need me, I will be there. =)

1st day of the week and its already so tough and hectic and hurts me alot. My colleague is just so irritating sometimes. Taking away half of the M&Ms that i brought.=( I hate it when people took away too much of my candy away. Its like taking candy from a baby. :P

I just can't seem to find time to play my games. I need time! can? Okay, I just can't wait for this week to end and I will be free to do what I want for a week. Guess I need to plan what I'm gonna do. Till' then, I will just have to endure. Ouh well, I'm up so early to watch Liverpool VS West Ham. And I going to catch up on my games.hehe. Take care everyone.

Spend spend spend, Christmas is Near!

2008-11-30T20:53:00.003+08:00

Weekends was okay. happy with myself as I buy a lot of things...for myself. Lets list it down the things I got.

1)Football Manager 09- $59.90
2)Linkin Park: Road to Revolution-$20.95
3)Fable II: Limited Edition- $45(2nd hand price)
4)Gears of War- borrowed from cousin
5)Game Plan(DVD)- borrowed from cousin
6)Xbox LIVE 12 month subscription-$88

Guess I spent alot ehh? Jus because next week, I will be clearing my last 4 days of leave and its Hari Raya Haji. Means I will be free from 6 Dec- 14 Dec(9 days). Coolness! I thought of watchin some movies too. But I guess no one will be free to watch with me. Anyone free, tell me kay. I don't want to spend my whole week at home playing game alone. It really kills you know. I need a social life too.

One thing I forgotten to get is some presents for the gift exchange. haha! And I still need to change my phone, buy a new cap. My cap is getting old and rusty. Ouh yes, Saturday, me saw nanny Joyce at Toa Payoh! I see her hair, I know its her, no need see her face. LOL. Great to see people you know are still around. I've been going around alone and getting stuffs for myself. I felt happy but it was not complete. It was not as fun as having people around, following you. I'm alone.=(

Today, went to EXPO for SITEX with brother. I asked him to come with me since I can't stand going alone. He brought a new HDD while I got a 12 mth Xbox Live. The place was very packed and I found a solution to pass through the crowd quickly. Secret is to move sideways. Its really faster and you can squeeze your way thru. It only works on skinny people. Those round people, you move sideways, you stomach still block laa..so cannot. So me and bro got out of the place quick and easy. We got what we need and chiao!

OKay, me chiao 1st. Another 5 more days of work and I will be off for my leave. Can't wait.

Fable II is a great game. Going to get addicted soon. FM09 is also fun. how to play 2 games at once? die laa..can I have more breaks?

Thunder

2008-11-26T19:25:00.003+08:00

I am addicted to this song. Everyday go out of house to work, I will listen to it repeatedly and going home, still got to listen to it. I don't know what's up with me and this song. I just sounds great to me.

*** *************** ***Thunder- Boys like Girls
Today's a winding road that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa
(whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried
(I tried)

I tried to read between the lines
(I tried to look in your eyes)
I want a simple explanation
(For what I'm feeling inside)
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today's a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know
(I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today's a winding road that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder, and I said

Your voice (this is getting colder)
Was the soundtrack of my summer (yeah the summer's over)
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain (well today's a winding road)
Oh baby bring (today I'm on my own)
On the pain
And listen to the thunder
*** ************** ***
I bold the words I love that means a lot to me.
PS: I still hope you will miss me when I'm gone.

Reminder for me...

1) Fable II - $45 to cousin

2) Bus concession - $61 to SBS

3) Xbox LIVE gold Membership- $33

4) Linkin Park: Road to Revolution- $ 20++

5) Macbook Casing/Protector/Bag- $??.??

Need to shop again on Saturday- anyone wanna come along?=P

Boring weekends

2008-11-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

I don't know why, but I have a very boring weekends. And I think I'm turning out to be a very boring person. I always play safe, watch my back, front, left and right.. right before I make any decision. I don't take risk anymore. It's like, I don't want to ruin my life but at the same time, I think I am. I'm boring. Why can't I be like anyone else, who goes out on weekends with friends they know and just chill out. What happen to the times when I can just call out and we can just talk just about anything. I'm running out on ideas on what to talk about.

Is it because I am left so far behind that I don't see the need to even go out to talk to people anymore. What happen to me? Its very hard to find people to go out with, I just don't have any idea on who I should go out with. Its even harder for me to ask people out cause I'm such a boring person that I don't have any idea of where to go and what to do. All I do is sit at home, on my laptop or my xbox and just play by myself. No one entertains me anymore. Everyone is busy or people just don't care. Glad I still have Hidayat who talks to me and plays Warcraft III even though its such and old game. But still, I get to socialize, talk to people you see. I just don't know who else is there to talk to. Just found an evil twin, named Fauziah. haha... Mama is gone. Nanny comes around once in awhile but she got homework to finish up. Halimah will come and just laugh at me for no reason.

My life is just standing still and I'm still trying to improve my game. Fifa 09 is a great game but I'm not getting any better at it. I keep on losing and I just don't know of any tactics to use right now. FM09 is another game that I keep on losing. I think I should just quit being a manager and try my best at being a player. Ouh ya, played soccer on Friday. Police found a dead body lying below the Kallang Bridge near block 64. I had no idea what happen. But when the police came around while we were having our game, they asked for our IC. Well, I didn't bring it! haha, too use to telling my name to the police anyways.

Soccer game was great, teamed up with Hafiz, Acan and Zaiful. We won quite a few games but we were having trouble scoring. I wasn't playing my best. I got tired too easily and lost the ball a couple of times. But I was sure proud of the 1st kick when I scored with wonderful curling shot. That was the only highlight of the night. I did score one but the ball hit so hard off the post and came back out. And they say it won't count. I was like..errr..okay. I guess I shouldn't shoot so hard. I guess wearing boots makes me shoot stronger but I still need to control my power. My accuracy was way out of my standard. I will need to improve my technique in shooting, passing, reading the game, making runs to the box, jumping for the ball, control on my chess, dribbling and keeping the ball close to my feet. What a list for me to improve on. Acan will be counting on me to make it as right winger since he needed one for his team.

Ouh well, I still got a lot to learn and a lot to improve on. I want a driving license.=)

Back to School

2008-11-19T19:16:00.004+08:00

Brought a Macbook Pro on Sunday right before going for a rare family outing. My dad brought a new camera. So cool, now I can use the camera more often.=) I wonder if I would ever use a camera again. I don't feel like using camera sometimes. Ever since I lost all of it that day..haiz..

Today was a new day for me and I made full use of it by visiting school.=) I had to wake up very early just to see if SK is online. Need to confirm weather she coming along to surprise Erna! In the end, she cannot make it since something pop up on the last minute. So I rushed to CT hall to get some donuts.

I wanted to get 6 actually, I end up ordering 12. okay, long story, I was kinda dumb and blur that morning. But who cares. I reached school as early as 1125 to find a suitable place. It was a very hot day. Saw Liana too while I was there. Erna and Jane Jane soon reached and I wished her another belated birthday.hehe, I guess she was shock to see me. But she didn't show any emotions liddat. how liddat?

So we chatted very long at north canteen. And we even talk like a lot of things to talk at the blk S corridor. Aloysious join us too. Talked like from 1130 - 2pm. Very long and my legs wobbling already. Then SMS Erny and gave her a donut. With her was her FYP mate, Suhailah. She say that I got call her during my OGL days. I guess I just can't remember. I called so many people that night. So I gave her a donut too. Macam clearing all the extra donuts I brought la kan..hehe

Then I went to look for my boocuk! But I call call, cannot call. So I called Mai instead. And Mai lead me to her lair. She playing photoshop, act like doing work. But you can't lie to your atok, can see you pretending to do work. So I hanged out with boocuk in her lab. People thought I'm her bf? haha, please la, no. I'm only her atok.hehe, played sudoku with her. Then we talk talk very long. all the way to 430pm till she have to go for some briefing. So have to say bye bye to school once again. Till next time...

60 Things

2008-11-18T23:16:00.001+08:00

60 things most girls don't know...
Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6 guys..you're a HOE)

-1-"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

-2-Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

-3-Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

-4-Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

-5-Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

-6-Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

-7-A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

-8-Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

-9-Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

-10-Guys get jealous easily.

-11-Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

-12-Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

-13-Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

-14-Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

-15-Girls are guys' weaknesses.

-16-Guys are very open about themselves.

-17-It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

-18-Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

-19-If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

-20-A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

-21-Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

-22-Guys will brag about anything.

-23-Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

-24-No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

-25-Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

-26-Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

-27-Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

-28-Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

-29-Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

-30-Try to be as straightforward as possible.

-31-If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

-32-If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

-33-When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

-34-When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

-35-Guys don't really have final decisions.

-36-If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

-37-If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

-38-When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

-39-When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

-40-Guys like femininity not feebleness.

-41-Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

-42-A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

-43-Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

-44-Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

-45-Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

-46-Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

-47-If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

-48-Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

-49-A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

-50-No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

-51-Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

-52-We don't like girls who are too skinny.

-53-We love it when girls talk about their boobs.

-54-Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like whether it's a one time deal or not ....

-55-Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours...

-56-When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

-57-Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

-58-Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...

-59-Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.

-60-When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

PS: I found this on the web. I guess this guys probably right about some stuffs. Watcha think?

Happy Birthday Mums!

2008-11-16T11:10:00.009+08:00

Life is so unfair, So many games, So little time! how to play them all!!??
And where do girls fit into the picture?

Anyways, I would first like to wish Mummy and Mama a Happy Happy Happy Birthday!!! I know, I'm like living with 2 mums in my life. hehe, both so caring and so loving.=) Without their love, I wouldn't be anywhere in this word. With Mummy's guidance, I've become a good person. With Mama's crazyness, I've become a fun and loving person. Thank you very nice.=)

Been thinking alot lately about which Computer to buy to replace my nearly dead, almost going to get burried IBM Laptop. I guess I should go for an Apple Macbook? But my dad recommended me not to buy a laptop cause I'm not going to use it to school or for business purposes. So I should be getting somthing like a Sony VGX-TP3G ( Intel Duo Processor 2.4GHz, 2GB memory( Max 4GB), 750 GB harddisc( SATA 7200rpm), Blu-ray combo Drive.)
It sound more reasonable as I already have a LCD monitor and its taking way too much space if I were to buy another laptop. A small PC would be good enough. I just need a powerful one to play my games. I know, I already got an Xbox360. LOL, i really am too much am I? What to do? I love games too much.

Anyways, speaking of which, I really can't decide what game to play next. Too many laaa!!! Okay, I need not buy Gears of War 2 or Grand Theft Auto 4 as I can borrow it from my cousin. I am borrowing his Lost Oddysey game when I went to his house yesterday. It was great fun playing with him eventhough he beat me in playing all of the games. Guitar Hero was great fun. I guess I should consider buying the whole set and putting it in my house. Come on friends! lets come and play together! hehe. The game I should be getting now will be Fable 2. My cousin is trying to get a 2nd hand one which will be cheaper. So I will just wait for it. For now, I will be playing Fifa 09 and Lost Oddysey, a 4 disc RPG whoo!!!Some of the other things I wanna get would be a new pair of shoes. I want these snikers, Nike Airforce! It would make a great addition to my collection of shoes. And ouh ya, I bought a Kaka' Jacket last week on my outing with Rozi and YC. They were great fun to be with. We had a great time.Talking about our lives now as it was back in primary school. We went Ikea and talking bout what our future house would be like. Here are a glimpses as what I'm talking about.

Thanks again to Rozi and YC for a wonderful time. Will see you soon.=) Take care. And try to enjoy working life. Damn!

36-24-36

2008-11-13T18:51:00.002+08:00

She was a once in a lifetime.
Soon after I let her go.
She was a face in the crowd.
A scent so wonderful.
She had the perfect figure 8.
Soon I notice her looking at me.
She slept the whole way through.
How I find her so beautiful.
She did smile on the way.
How I wished I could have time to smile backed.
She didn't say a word.
I just wished I made the first move.
She was going back home.
Damn! I'm in uniform again.

Fair skin, tall, matured, long silky smooth black hair, big brown eyes.
Your glasses make you look sexy and you are all I ever wished for.
How I wish I would know who that mysterious girl was.
Man, I blew my chance again.

I stood right beside you and you decide to sit right beside me.
I am as I was the day I arrived here...still a mystery.

Its great to play TOGETHER

2008-11-09T11:23:00.003+08:00

I should probably blog when I'm happy. haha, reason for me not blogging is because life has just been great for me. I've not been in trouble or face much problems yet at this point of my life, which is good. Rozi say I shouldn't blog horrible stuff of me being emo anymore. Then I wonder what should I blog about. I've moved on and I'm getting ready to face future challenges. Life is all about challenges. I guess if life is just smooth sailing all the way, then it wouldn't be life itself.

Lets see what I did on the weekdays. Its great people remember your birthday and even wish you too, although its late or whatever, it don't matter. At least people know you're a year older. I hate it when it comes to my birthday cause it just reminds me that I'm getting older and need to grow up. Well, since the previous year, I've been growing up, making mistakes, learning from them and hope to correct all the things I did wrong.

Office in HQ is great, everyone is relax and very friendly. I'm getting to know more people and getting famous for the right reasons. I guess I will need to make friends if I were to survive my NS life. Making friends is easy, finding a good friend that will stick by your side is hard. I'm glad I have some good friends, or should I say great friends who still cares and remembers me.

Looking forward to playing new games like Gears of War 2. Heard its great and everyones playing it. Maybe I should get a copy of the game. Wanted to buy GTA4 too and some RPG for my XboX360. But I don't think I will have time to play all of them, so I guess I will just buy a few and play since games nowadays are quite expansive and I really want to save up for my driving license.

Fifa09 is a great game! I was playing it online with some people that I don't really know. Imagine all the people asking for the ball when I got in..all in different languages. OK, to elaborate more, I was playing PRO mode. which means, I only get to control a player. Its 10 v 10! omg, only the goalkeeper is AI. So imagine Germany VS Brazil. Me got the honour to play Ronaldinho, Left Attacking Midfield. And I got to listen to 9 other people asking for the ball when I receive it. Damn, some of them said pass, but some said don't know some spainish, arabic or whatever. But one thing is certain, when someone scores, everyone shouted only one word. GOAL! its an international word. That is what makes football so great. Beautiful kan?

Yesterday, Yat cam over to play xbox at my place and watched Arsenal VS Man utd. Arsenal's Samri Nasri was the man who sealed the win. Both of us were cheering on Arsenal, eventhough we were both Liverpool Fans. Liverpool won against WBA with 2 1st half goals from Robbie Keane7. Arbeloa scored a stunning 90 min goal that seals it. Great night. Eventhough I didn't watched the 2nd half, I stayed awake to finish my 1st. Sorry Rozi, i said i was sleeping, i lied but its only because Keane scored just before I was going to sleep, that kept me awake and wanted to watch more of it since I saw his form coming up and I knew he will score more and He DID!

I guess thats all for my weekend update, I will try to update more soon kays. I'm thinking if I should get a Macbook or a Vaio? ermm..

21st Birthday=)

2008-11-02T15:06:00.003+08:00

One small joke before I begin...

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone.
A part of me is getting hard already!

Haha! that me laughed. okay, Its abit stupid though.

Okay, today was my 21st birthday. I had so many people wishing me all over the world. Should I count my blessings? I don't know, too many to count. I'm blessed with good friends who care for me. I got friends who treat me like I'm the greatest friend in the world! right?*winks* I didn't know I did so much and impact so many lives in the process. I could have done more but I'm still 21 and I guess I should be at the growing part of my life where I finally become a real adult. Should stop joking too much and start settling down to think about my future.

Maybe I should forget the past and let go of all the regrets I have. Most thing I regretted the most is letting more people into my life where I should have. I still miss you though. Regrets not going to bring me anywhere but letting go will.

Today was an awful day with the rain..rain~ rain~ go away, come again on nanny's birthday. little baby want to go out and play! Mama working and baby stayed indoors.
But best thing bout today is that Hidayat and Shikin came to my house and celebrated my birthday with a Pandan cAKE!! Very nice can!!! i love the cake and love you guys! As again, I must go count my blessings again. I had such wonderful friends and such a wonderful life. I just wished you can be part of my list of friends.=)

My 21st. a day early

2008-11-02T00:45:00.002+08:00

Had a great outing to Plaza Singapura with Hairul, Boon Kin, Kamal, Hidayat and Shikin! As usual, people come late. But its okay, I'm use to waiting. We wanted to watch the coffin at 1st but Kamal said its a boring show and we wanted something more scary. So we decided to go for Rec. Its okay la, scary but not so. Alot of blood and all, but the story line is mostly bout some virus and disease, which can spread and turn people into zombies and go crazy, biting people all over.

At the end of the movie, we went for dinner at KFC. Met XiaoWei!!!, along the way. Its nice to meet up with my favorite bunch of people again. We hanged out at SMU and ate our KFC there, beside a white chick and some people playing feesbees. Went to SMU toilet to wash up, the place is so cool. Like so public and I feel like I'm an SMU student liddat. haha!

After that we went over to Manga Cafe'.Where we didn't know we need to pay, $1/ hr to read the books. We went in, macam sardine cap kapak dinosaur. Anyhow go in, read some magazines, like our own library then the guy asked if we had signed in or not. And we left soon after without paying. Sorry la, 1st time, don't know mah. Too bad lor.=P

Soon after, we walked to Funan IT mall to buy some of my very own XBOX 360 accessories. If you all don't know, I brought an XBOX360 last weekend and been playing ever since. Sorry didn't update that earlier. Been fun having it around the house. Like my very own pet to play with. Got ready another wireless controller for someone who is coming today to play with me. Wee~

We headed to J.CO where I had a surprise birthday Donuts!!! whoo! 6 donuts all for me! Thanks to Hairul, Kamal and BoonKin and we shared them all and eat them all slowly. hehe. The counter had a few cool girls making drinks. God, I can't believe I look at girls at Starbucks, Coffee Bean and even J.Co! lol. At least mama use to work in on of the place. hehe, love u too mama! Great to hang out there though its abit cramp there. Who cares anyway. Went up to Robinsons to meet Mervyn & Eileen. I can't believe everyone is so close by. What a small world. Even YJ and Jessica came next. Wow! cool kan?

We finally settled down at Starbucks for a chat and thats how I ended my day. No pictures were taken. You want to know why? I don't see a reason why I should, I'll just lose the pictures again. When I leave this world, people won't be keeping my pictures either.=)

Here I leave my mark in blogspot. Nothing last forever kan? and wished don't come through. I wished for something last year during my birthday and it didn't come true so I won't be making any wishes this time around. You will never come back.

If you love someone...

2008-10-28T19:35:00.005+08:00

ORIGINAL QUOTE
THE NEW VERSIONS...

Pessimist
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she ever comes back, she's yours.
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was...

Optimist
If you love someone,
Set her free...
Don't worry, she will come back...

Suspicious
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she doesn't come back within some time, forget her.

Patient
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back...

Playful
If you love someone,
Set her free...
*If she comes back, and you love her still Set her free again...

Repeat*

Schwarzenegger's fans
If you love someone,
Set her free...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person
If you love someone,
Don't set her free...

MBA
If you love someone,
set her free instantaneously,
and look for others simultaneously.

Which kind of a boyfriend are you? I'm still asking that question myself. Which one do you think I am?

Best thing about tonight

2008-10-26T16:43:00.004+08:00

Okay, one week passed and I just couldn't find time to blog much. Nothing much to blog about. I wanted to blog yesterday but I forgotten what I wanted to say. Been pretty busy shopping stuff. Went for X08 with my cousin, played a few Xbox360 games and decided to get myself a console.

The event was okay, saw a few performances and a few girls were pretty hot too. Their perfume is extremely strong and very seducive. I wonder what they put in perfumes nowadays. Too bad all of them are chinese, so many tatoos, scary. Ah lian liddat kind. If only they were simple, pretty, nice and a bit nasty, that would be great.

My very own, early birthday present from me. My dad just brought me a new LCD TV to play my XBOX360. Was pretty fun and a lot of things to do. And Happy Deepavali, though I couldn't stand the banglas who wasted my time in the bus. Took around 15 minutes to count money and pay for tickets. Why can't they get a freaking EZ link card and just tap and go? Best part was when the bus started to move and they all fall like domino onto me and my new LCD TV. I pushed them back as hard as I could. I saved my LCD TV at least. But they were good enough to say sorry. At least I didn't feel so angry. Later I turn green then how?

Met Bobby at AMK Hub while I was getting my new Xbox at Funzcenter. PS3 games are so expensive, and the console is too. Wii wasn't so bad but Xbox games are the cheapest. Xbox Live is something to look forward to. Anyone playing online, do tell me so we can play together!=)

Been thinking about my ideal girlfriend today, That would be..she must love what I love, practically everything. haha, for example, support Liverpool! Love sports, importantly, joing me in my video games.

BTW, Liverpool just beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge and is currently top of the EPL table. Finally Liverpool are improving their style of play and I love watching them play. Even without Fernando Torres, they played well. That just show how much Liverpool has grown under Rafa Benitez.

Did an audit on PUB, thanks to Liyana_westlife for the help. She wanted to rename to Liyana_theclickfive. Well, might as well say Liyana_getalife. okay, I'm just jokin kay Liyana. Smile!=) Who want to help me do audit tommorow, very easy one. 5 simple steps only. Help me please. Nanny don't want help... Later ask mama scold ah! Mama, I miss you, when you want stop working and spent time with me? Deepavali also you work kee...

Best thing about tonight: Liverpool won! and My Xbox360 is good and running. Everything settle.

Time really flies high, hard to catch

2008-10-19T16:34:00.003+08:00

When do you say that enough is enough. Or you just can't enough of something?

Life has been moving faster than I could catch my breath. The next thing I know, I've moved on to another day. I could never stop for awhile and take a break. My life is fast moving and theres no stopping it. How did it turn out to be this way. The end of the world is drawing near. And I'm not even ready for it. Why can't I have more time? please give me more time. I need a break. A break from all this.

Yesterday was one of the fastest day of my life. I think its because I enjoyed ever second of it. Time to get back to work tomorrow and I need to be back at 7am to finish off my report. What a rush! It only feels like 9am now. I think my mind is running a few hours late. I need to catch up quick. A few things on my wish list. I need a new gaming laptop. A new phone. and a new personality. I'm turning to be a boring person now. I want to go to Spain. I want to start a new life there. How I wish for so many things and I still have to work hard for it. But leaving this life Im having now is such a waste. Too many people cared for me. Its just difficult to make a decision now.=(

I still want to be with you. No matter what.

Taking you

2008-10-17T22:51:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I just don't know what I owe you. I will tend to forget a lot of things, easily. I'm becoming an English teacher. Had to correct a lot of mistakes everyday and typing out reports all day long. How long can I carry on like this? I've done it for more than a week. I've done more than 100 pages of report and I'm going crazy trying to understand their English.

Dream so much lately. Been loving my dreams rather than reality. Life is not complete without its challenges ehh? Funny thing bout my dream is that I keep dreaming of different girls every night. haha and thats cool eh? So many girls..so little time. And its very wierd la, I don't know what kind of games my mind is playing with me. But having lots of friends is betterI guess. But thinking more about it, its almost the same. More friends also difficult to ask them go out. Having a girlfriend, I don't think that will help either. I guess I just have to see how it goes.

Where should I start? Disjointed heart.
I've got no commitment to my own flesh and blood.
Left off alone, Far from my home.
No one to hear me to heal my ill heart
I...Keep it locked up inside!
Keep my distant from your lies.

Breaking a part of my heart to find release
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace.

I will remember you.

2008-10-11T08:53:00.004+08:00

A throat so sore and a mouth full of pain.
A high fever burns me like a fire burns a train.
The anger deep inside washes me away
The same way I felt just the other day.
Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out
what ma'am wrote to me and whats' it all about
If you want to tell me what to amend.
can write more clearly, ma'am?

Been doing more than I should
I just want to push, I wish I could
but the work's piled up on me
and the world is coming down on me.
So what do I do, I'm still figuring out
weather to quit or stay or just go out and shout
but if I do I will obviously get charge,
for breaking the law or just get extra guard.

The things that she wrote and the things she shared
made me cooled down a bit and breathe more air
Things are good now like they usually are.
But when things turn bad, I will just laugh..Haha!
Sneezing cold and the air-cons not helping
for once in my life I felt me freezing.
I need a new coat to keep me warm,
but a hug from you would be better kan?

Its been long I felt so much loved
please show me the way to the sky above
I been waiting patiently to show what you made me.
now I don't know if anyone would agree with me.
I ain't sure which ones the right one
cause I seem to go fine with just anyone.
I'm kinda miss the one I had last
It wasn't meant to be huh, yeah, it didn't last

If anyone can catch up, I'm back with my old beat
Too late to get a ticket for a seat from SISTIC
cause the peoples come high and low just to see me.
But I will never forget anyone ,one of you, trust me.=)

I won't let you fall again.

2008-10-06T20:58:00.003+08:00

There once live a millionaire who collects live alligators in a pool at the back of his mansion. He had a beautiful daughter that anyone and everyone would love to marry.

One day, he decided to throw a party. During the party, he announced, " My dear guest, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give you a million dollars or my daughter to the man can swim across the pool full of alligators and emerge alive."

Soon after, there was a huge Splash! There's one guy in the pool, swimming with all his might and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheers on as he keeps swimming though his life running for his life.

Finally, he makes it out to the other side with only a thorn shirt and some minor injuries.

" Incredible! Fantastic! I never thought I could be done! What do you want in return for your brave act. My daughter or a million dollars?"

" I don't want you daughter or your million dollars, I want the person who pushed me in the water!"

I find the ending to dis story very funny. I laughed my ass off. Anyways, its nice to read some old jokes and still know you can laugh at it. Strange happenings recently got me thinking if I'm really cursed. But oh well, I have faith. Even though life has not been easy on me, people just can't seem to get their target off me. But I guess I'm happy. Happy that I still have my friends to back me up.

I just want to say this, you watch my back and I will watch yours. I will never let you fall, again.=) When you come back down, I'll be there for you. Did you land on your feet? Anyways, I just hope you find your way back to me.

There's currently a special person who I just can't seem to get my mind off. Anyways, you funny laa. hope to see ya around=)

Facebook is fun!

2008-09-29T18:55:00.004+08:00

Done 3 cards for 3 special people in my life, don't want say who la. hehe. Actually they are just Hari Raya cards. Maybe cos I've done so many bad things to these people... I don't know. Just feel like sending cards out this year. If all is good, I will continue doing it next year. How exciting!?=.=I'm kinda tight though, I don't know people's address. Email address I know la, but then getting peoples address is not easy. I guess I'm lucky these people gave it to me.

Today I read a few good jokes on the intranet. I can't believe people put it up. I will post it up tommorow if I can remember them. But they are just so funny I laugh my heart out and have to put my heart back in while putting my lungs back in the correct order.

Been facebook-ing alot lately. Some of the games are very addictive. Some people just don't know when to stop ehh? You kill me, I kill you. You poke me..I super poke you. The cycle never ends. I kinda stop Friendster since my account is like turning crappy. Been adding people I don't know and its been turning very risky. I just have to make my profile private now. But facebook, facebook is fun! Hope all of you switch to facebook and join to be a gangster like me!

One more day to hari raya! lalala..=)

Private Blog?

2008-09-24T04:54:00.003+08:00

More and more people are making their blog private. I've been thinking of living a private life too, a private friendster, a private facebook, a private blog, even my rank is Private. hehe.

I don't know. Its just because anakku and cucuku got a private blog now, I was thinking of a change too. Get rid of unwanted readers I should say, cause I really don't know who's reading my blog and it could be dangerous for me especially when I'm saying all the things I shouldn't.

It really makes my day when I go back home, knowing there's still people who remember me. My mum, dad. love them both! My friends, eventhough your far away in physical distant, you still remain close to my heart. Today is just another usual day at work, my officer, seniors and even the director is on leave. Not say all of them are on leave, they are just not in. So I'm left alone in office waiting for people to command me around. So I tried my best to stay low and do my own thing, act busy.=)

I guess being an Audit Assistant 1 makes me the number one target in office since the other Assistant job is more relax. I do have alot more to do. But I guess thats just another challenge, another obstical in life and I will just have to run in down like I always do. Face it, no use running away from it right? I'm really looking forward to a fruitful year ahead.

Ouh yes, I'm really in the mood to celebrate my birthday now. I've been thinking alot about it, even did some planning myself. Since my birthday falls on a Sunday this year, Yay!, I've been wanting to plan my own Birthday party, 1st time ever. I'm going to be 21 this year! No wonder my cucu say I'm old kan? Thats the usual boocu' I have.hehe, glad to have her around still, brightens up my day, any day.

And here's a littel something I saw which kept me thinking...

If condoms had sponsors, they would be lable like...

Nike- Just Do It!
Pringles- Once you pop, you can't stop
KFC- It's finger licking good.
M&Ms- Its melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Energizer- It keeps going & going & going...

=P good day!

Cheers, Bears & Tears,
PTE Fawze
Audit Assistant \m/[-__-]\m/

Why are blondes dumb?

2008-09-23T05:06:00.003+08:00

Here is a short story I read somewhere that made me smile yesterday. There were a few but this was the one I remembered best.

____________Start___________

A blonde walked into the library and walk up to the librarian. She complain to him that the book she borrowed had no stories, too many characters. The librarian answered, " You must be the one who took our phone book..."

-__-"

___________End___________

Thank you. Off to napping. Hope today I will get more sleep than yesterday. Miss the people.=)

Amnesia

2008-09-21T11:56:00.003+08:00

I finally declare myself empty. I don't have any much files left with me. Both my HDD broke down and I'm left with nothing. It's kinda sad...ok..im feeling very very sad..I'm depress. All my work in NYP, all the photos, all the music, the videos...All the memories. I couldn't have ask for a better "new" beginning. Ya right, new beginning with no memories of the past to look back upon. How sad is that? VERY.

I guess life moves on, I guess I can't show my children or grandchildren what I do when I was at this stage of my life. But I guess they won't even care. At least I still have this blog now. But kind to think about the positive side, I won't bring those stuff when I finally pass... But it's very sad to not be able to look back to the past and I'm only left with the present and the future. If I ever suffer "Amnesia" in my life, at least now I experiencing it once.=) I don't want to remember anything now so it won't hurt but not remembering anything hurts even more, *my head ouch*. haha

Can anyone save me? I need those lost files back=(

Sweet Victory at Anfield

2008-09-14T19:34:00.002+08:00

No Torres, 2nd Half Gerrard. Liverpool still managed to win it 2-1! weee~ so happy, jump jump for joy-ce. luckily didn't trip and fall down.=)

Went to Bazaar Geylang today, packed place as usual. I just went to get my stuff as quickly as possible and get the hell out of there.Waited like half an hour just to get putu piring for my mum and dad. haha

Currently listening to Lonely September- Plain White Ts. I'm just remember what happen last year and it was during this time of the year, I listen to that song the most. For those of you who know what happen, you know why eh. Saw her and ran far far away that day, didn't manage to shop finish though. I want to continue shopping next week. Anyone wanna tag along? hahaha, but must be patient with me k. Yat and Kin know why la ehh..

Ouh, before I forget, here is the picture I drew while I was serving NS in the office. so bored, i drew and even colored it. Thats all for now.=)

Brain Booster

2008-09-13T17:47:00.003+08:00

Life in SCDF HQ is great, I've learn a lot of thing by myself and have a lot of time for myself and reading newspaper. I even have a new hobby now, and that is doing Sudoku! Saper ntah give me idea to try out sudoku ehh..you know yourself who you are. So I told myself, I'm going to start a new life and thats what I did. I try out a lot of new things and see new things I've not seen before. I begin to look life in a different point of view.

This world is not always as round as many of you think. Ouh well, I didn't know where I came up with that concept. I found somthing intresting in the newspaper some days back. I learn that we shouldn't just eat to fill our stomachs or get rid of hunger, we must eat with a purpose and that is to keep ourself fit and improve ourselves. Here are some tips on what you should eat to boost up your low IQ brain.

1. Fish
An excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids which are essential for brain growth and function.

2. Eggs
A great source of protein. Egg yolks have high amount of choline( a nutrient in the B vitamin family) Helps in memory development. By the way, soft boil eggs are the best.

3. Nuts( Avoid ground nuts)
Vitamin E & are a source of antioxidants that protect the membranes of brain cells againts free radicals.

4. Colorful vegetables
High level of antioxidants that will help keep the brain cells strong and healthy

5. Wholegrains
Provides gradual release of glucose that the brain needs to function due to the fibre regulating its release. It also contains vitamin B.

6. Berries
High level of antioxidants, help prevent cancer. 7. Beans

Energy from protein to complex carbohydrates which are good. Brain food.

8.Yogurt
Protein, vitamin B, D for brain tissues and neuro-transmitters.

There you have it people, remember to eat and not diet yourself. Later you become stupid how? m my fault? And Halimah, I forgot what I wanted to blog about you laa, see la, I think I need more brain food.

Anyways, I just want to thank Hidayat and Ashikin for being so patient with me just now. And thanks for the company, hope to see you soon. And yeah! Tonight is the Liverpool and Manchester Utd match!! come on LiverpooL!!! Hoping for a Keane goal that was promise by Aleef. Anyway, I drew a picture of my hero, Fernando Torres, will scan and show it soons.=)

Thank you very nice.

Yesterday I hold no Apologies, Tomorrow I hold no Answers

2008-09-07T14:11:00.003+08:00

Been sick since Friday, but I'm feeling a lot better now. Alhamdulillah. Down with a cold, I think its because of the rain. Been very cold in office. I must stay in office from 8am to 6pm everyday and I'm just getting use to it. Or might be infected by my colleague who was sick before me and came to work even though he is sick. Thanks ah.

So here I am at home, resting at home and sleeping a lot lot lot. On Friday was the worst day of the cold, I keep on sneezing like there's no tomorrow. And water keep flowing down my nose. Ewww right? Yes and I felt better on Saturday and it's not so bad now. Okay, even when I'm sick, I will try my very best to learn something at work. I will try not to act sick. So I learn some faxing, paper shredding and a bit of the report. I did pretty well I guess.

I also manage to read some of the emails in the account. Its funny what you can find in there. There were titles like Indian Zidane headbutt. Where Zidane was able to come flying with a headbutt on Matterazzi or Matterazzi came off twisting and turning after the headbutt. It was kind of over exaggerate but I guess its good humor. Then I found email on how to learn Japanese easily. So I learn some Jap on my own. I don' remember all of the main, but I will try my best.

1. What do you call a heartbroken Jap?
Hatikukecewa
2. What do you call a dirty minded Jap?
Otakukoto
3. What do you call a flat-chested Jap?
Tetekurata
4. How about a Cheeky Jap girl?
Ichibawa

LOL, okay, some of you don't understand, cause its in Malay actually. Then I also read the organiser notebook. I found some very strong phrases. I realize most of them are about believe in something and you can do it.

"Blessed are those give without remembering & take without forgetting."

"A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

"Optimism is a foundation of courage"

"Don't judge those who try and fail, judge those who fail to try."

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

"I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them."

The last two really touch me, its nice to read these nice phrases, they are strong words by strong people. Well, I guess I should keep to the guild lines given to me and do what is right and move on with life. I hope to see my friends next week, I really miss you all.

1st day at HQ SCDF

2008-09-04T05:00:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, I finally got to know what I will be doing for the next year and 10 months. What SQD do is we do compilation of audits reports. There are mainly 2 parts. Audits and Plans Branch and Service Excellence Branch. I'm in the APB. What I'm told is i will be taking over this guy name Ishak. He is like my senior and he is a very nice guy. Then some of the people I will be working with is Isaac, Farhan so called Jim. The reason why we call him Jim is because he looks like earthworm Jim. Its funny, he really looks the same.
His eyes, mouth..facial feature. It really looks the same. I was introduce to the director, my reporting officer soo after that. Everyone is very friendly. I hope this is a good sign of things to come. I hope they will be very easy to work with.=)

I've change my mindset for NS. I think I should make full use of NS and make new friend and be friendly to everyone. I think I've not been a very nice person. They should be given a chance to at least get to know me more and I should talk more often. I feel real down when Im not talking or doing anything useful.

So anyways, today is another day and I will be getting my no. 3 uniform today, hopefully. And no jams for today, please. Eventhough its quite near and all, its always jam at Macphersons road. Take care and miss you all who've been away for so long.=) hope to see you all soon. Saturday meet?

Posted Out of CDA

2008-09-02T20:28:00.002+08:00

I finally come to the end of my clerk course. I'm posted out to HQ CD in SQD( Service Quality Department. I still not sure what it is yet or what I must do. but I guess it sounds pretty cool. I checking quality. Now I got a problem. I don't know and am not sure on how to go there tomorrow.

Today is a very challenging day for me, especially keeping myself awake. I've not been having enough sleep but I guess its a very common thing among all Singaporeans nowadays. Where got time right? Still fasting and I keep getting mad over small things. My certificate is spelled wrongly. I can't believe they change my name into something else and still say I didn't check properly. I guess the standard is just not there. Ouh well, what to expect, I am serving NS after all. I never really looked up at NS in my life. I keep looking down on them as they are never good for anyone and everyone.Being in uniform really sucks. I just have to appear good in it. And one stupid thing is that I had to give up my seat to this old lady and a man came to sit instead. What happen to all the gentlemen in the world? Please la guys, I am sure you guys are not blind but this is totally unacceptable. can?

And those of you in trains, the priority seats are usually taken up by those not needing to sit. And I just have to see those poor old lady standing up and the one seating trying very very hard not to look. What is happening to this world? Where is the love? And people pretend to care?Why? Humans? Imperfect? bull shit. Selfish people. Grow up. I don't want to see this again. This just makes me mad, upset, unhappy, dissapointed and all down and depress. I wish I could change the world. But people, please open your eyes and see the world. A bit of initiative will really help. Thanks=)

Bob & Shanker

2008-09-01T22:10:00.002+08:00

Today marks the 1st day of Ramadan. It was all good. Got use to not eating very easily. I guess I have to keep this up for another 29 days. I wanted to be a better person and reflect on myself on how I can improve myself. I guess I should be more sociable to begin with.

I started the month trying to be just like that. I went back to camp with a positive attitude, trying to make friends. We had power point test and it was too easy for everyone. We then had power point presentation where we had the most fun.

Bob and Shanker just can't stop disturbing each other. Bob, if you don't know, is the biggest and tallest person I have ever seen. He have many nicknames like Bob, Bob AJ, and most well known as Ikan Paus which is a malay word for Whale. Should call him Ikan Paus Biru la..for Blue Whale. He is so huge that his stomach covers his belt.

Shanker is an indian we love to disturb cause he can take jokes. He will also disturb people. A very easy going person I should say. And he keeps making funny noises like when he sing those hindu songs. Bollywood betul ahh...

So today's joke was that Shanker did a powerpoint slide about Bob. During Bob's presentation, he showed a softer side of him, saying he is a good boy and all. then Shanker said this.." Every side of Bob also soft." that made me laugh like crap. Then when it comes to Shankers presentation, he only have 4 slides out of 12. 8 of them were deleted, by you know who and Bob just sits there ans smile like nothing happen. Its so cute to see them both together pinching each other.

I hope tomorrow is another good and fun day at office.

WALL-E

2008-08-31T19:24:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, went out with Anand to Cine leisure to watch Wall-E! weee~ Evvaaa! Its raining again, everytime go out with Anand, confirm will rain. I don't know why. The movie is very very funny! I laugh a lot and its very cute and touching story.

Wall E stands for Waste Allocation Load Lister Earth-Class and EVE stands for Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator. How cute ehh? I love the movie so much, feel like watching it again though. Should get the DVD when its out. Sorry Bai Lu, you didn't get to join us this time, cause of your camp. We watch other movie next time outs.

What about today? Today is a time wasting day. I wish I could do better. Was suppose to buy a new watch. It was my dads idea anyway. He said it would be my birthday present. But now things so expensive! No discount, GST got ah. And my birthday is on November and its not even October yet. Okay, for now, I will list down the things I need to get so I won't forget

1. A new watch( less than S$100)
2. A new laptop( Apple macbook or Sony Vaio)
3. A new Hand phone( iPhone please?)
4. A new telephone line ( after I get a proper job)
5. A new bag ( crumple bag would be nice)
6. Get my PSP fix.
7. Service my HDD fix.
8. A new PS3, with Metal Gear Solid 4, PES 2009 and a new HD LCD TV
9. get Football Manager 2009 as soon as it comes out.
10. A new cap.( simple black)
11. Get my own room, which is impossible now.
12. a new pair of Shoes
13. a new girfriend? ok, I can't think of anymore

Anyways, was out to Toa Payoh and went to Geylang Serai to check out the Bazaar. Its not even fully filled with shops yet, I'm like there already. Saw liana but didn't have anything to say, so I just pass by without saying anything. What I felt was, its very hard to find a very decent and innocent girl nowadays. There's just so many things that don't fit me. There will always be some things I just can't accept or can't take. Having learn all the lessons in the past, I want to be as happy as I am when I'm with her and when we are apart. Its just hard. I don't want y girl to have dyed hair color or have piercing all over, not to over exposing herself. Wear decent clothes would be good enough. I don't want to say anymore, but I just wish to find that person soon but I know it won't be easy. But its okay, take it slowly ehh.

Shall update soon. Tomorrow is the beginning of the fasting month. So to all my friends and family, Selamat Berpuasa kays... And yaa, tomorrow, I will be having my powerpoint presentation and test too! Clerk course is a total waste of time but I do learn something though. =)

It's time to get my game on a DotA again. Can I have a better life than this?

Super Clerks

2008-08-27T20:22:00.002+08:00

" You all look sleepy, all half right down. Carry on 20 for me"- Instructor

Early morning wake up call, and we all fresh and ready to type type. Thanks for coming late guys, now we have to come at 740am instead of 745am. Sabo-ing is just a part of everyday NS life I guess. Got to get use to this "One for all, all for one" shit.

Finally got my Home Team card, I don't really know the benefits yet, but I guess its a good thing to hold this card.

" I don't want to punish you all, but you all not discipline, see Officer don't know how to greet. You all need muscles to type is it?"- Instructor

Well, I guess all of us need some work out to keep us typing away.haha, how bout this...

" Clerks keluar baris! Backspace, Enter, we are Clerks!"

I find it good way for us to leave the line. But it's not implemented yet. Sometimes I just wish I'm a fire fighter now, getting to run here and there, perspire like there's no tomorrow. And not just sitting down in aircon room and just down desk job.

We had a test today, was very very easy.I can't believe I even study for it. We learn NSPAM and Excel too. Tomorrow is Excel test, I guess it will be another easy one for me. I guess being a clerk is not so bad after all. The best is you get to deduct NSF and NSMen allowance too. How great is that and you will get to see secret document. These are just some good things about clerks.

One final thing, that made me laugh alot yesterday...

" Where's you belt, Bob?" - Instructor.
" His stomach covering it!"- Clerks

Everyone laugh all the way back home.=)

Come Back Kings

2008-08-25T19:52:00.002+08:00

Its amazing how football can effect human emotions greatly. Liverpool did it again. Beating Middlesbrough 2-1 in a 0-1 then coming back to life with 2 goals. Goals coming for Jamie Carragger and Steven Gerrard. 2ndly Raul and company came from a 3-2 then 4-2 to a stunning 6-5 comeback, beating Valencia. A goal for Ruben De La Red was the best among them.

Back in CDA, 1st day in CDA. A new place, new people, same rules. I will be a clerk for the rest of my 1 year and few months. I guess thats ok, I'm not complaining at all. Our instructor is Corporal Tan, a nice short guy. Our "teacher" is Captain Fadhila, yes, she is a lady. She have yet to scold us, but she seems like a nice lady. Easy to talk to, can take jokes. I guess thats ok, I just want a pleasant 7 days stay, now left 6 more days. I will get my posting on 2 September 2008.

Still got a lot of things to do, like polishing my boots, iron clothes for tomorrows uniform inspection. We can't sleep in class and if we do, we must tell a story. That made me think hard, if I were to sleep, I will need to dream and dream big. Then I will be able to wake up and tell my story to everyone.

Class Rules:
1. Must always be Punctual
2. Respect
3. No Sleeping
4. No vulgarities
5. Speak only English

I guess I can live up to the rule, but I can't stand one thing..." one for all, all for one". Its the only thing I hate about NS. Why do everyone have to suffer cause of someone else's mistake? I can't live like this, I rather be alone and suffer alone and leave the rest alone. What do you think?

HeakLeakMuak

2008-08-24T22:40:00.004+08:00

I feel so old and yet I still think I'm young, maybe its my size la. Anyways, Halimah went on to blog about me. One whole post just about me, well, I just feel like doing the same, but my own way.

I know this girl from MacPherson Secondary,
But she look mean but pretty(*nasty)
Didn't know her back then like I know her now
Think I wanna write seriously, but I do anyhow

Here's to you, the girl from RP
This ones for you from Fawze
You might think I'm greedy
And I force you to write bout me
But I remembered it was you who wanted to write it
And I don't remember and part of me wanting it

And yes, I am serving NS
but not all CD men are mats
And no, you can't write anymore
cause you don't know nuts

About me, you right I'm caring concern
and I can wait for raya for this
All I wanted you to understand and learn
is drugs and smoke are out of the list

Sometimes I just miss the old days when I was still back in the Angklung. Glad I still got my juniors around but now that you've all graduated, there's no looking back I guess.

And here is a picture of my Angklung Juniors. Halimah & Tijah=)

Now we are even, no need treat you a meal, Swensen some more! And yeah, your birthday da lamer lepas, what for need give you big big surprise?

Okay, some good things about Halimah. She talks to me often. Takes away my boredom. Makes me laugh over lame jokes. Easy to talk to and never fail to reply. Talks crap. Not afraid to say anything, very open minded I guess. And she use to put me in her featured friends, how cool is that? We barely know each other and I don't have many people putting me in their featured friends on friendster.

Bad things about her, she don't like me. She treats me badly and jokes about me. But I guess thats okay. I don't mind. She keep asking for treats. She keeps asking me to tag her. She removed me from her featured friends. She thinks I'm superman, can type very fast. She don't let me sleep early. I like her picture where she took in school. She don't have a facebook account.

I guess thats all for now, shall blog soon. =)Bored no one tag yet. ouh well~

Look Into My Eyes

2008-08-23T19:52:00.005+08:00

Look into my eyes and tell me what you say is not a lie. Sabo so many times, still think we can be friends. Still ask me out and tell me I not "jiwe" if I don't go. But where were all of you when I was alone cleaning the bunk and doing my own area cleaning? That's right, you were just sitting there and watch as the world turn round and round over again. What where you thinking when you over reacted and scream over a small thing. Why can't you take a joke? If can't take joke, then don't make joke k. If can't be disturbed, then stop disturbing people. You always want to win and think your better than everyone else.

" There are 2 worlds. Yours and ours."

Please don't misunderstand this. It not that I don't want to make friends. It's just that I don't want to mix around with bad company and as far as I judge from my 7 weeks with you, its hard to say that you guys were ever my friends at all. You all just come and go. And that seems to bother me and that's been my real problem in NS. I find it hard to trust again. Let me take some time off and think again. And giving feedbacks are just a waste of time when you don't want to change anything. Stay in you zone and move on with your life and stop asking so many questions. It might just hurt someone. Don't ask personal questions or ask for personal help when you don't know me well.

1st of all, there's bug everywhere, in this picture,
my Hero got no skills on 1st level of Dota.shit!

My Harddisc is ill and my PSP analog stick irritates me too much. I need new stuffs for replacement. My laptop is dying soon and I hope I don't lose anything=( Can someone please help me. Leading a new life is not easy. Taking back the old life is harder. I don't want to look back on the things I've done before cause its never coming back. I miss you so much that it hurts.

"One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind. "

When I'm thinking, alone and quiet. It must be about you. Sometimes I'm just lost and wonder what the world would be like if your still here. I miss my true friends on my side. At least some of them are still around. I want to DotA now.Hope a good movie will come out soon. I miss eating popcorn and nachos. Going to make a play list of emo songs soon.hehe

I predict a Lonely September. =)

POP oh!

2008-08-23T09:20:00.011+08:00

Platoon 5 108th Intake

Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great.
Dorm 10The X-men- Sick club
Dorm 10,Locker 7, Bed 7, Register no. 22.My locker,My Bed(left of the picture), me and my Uniform

21st August marks the day I finally pass out from BRTC and become a qualified Rescuer. My time there, I learn some handy tools, first aid, fire fighting and CPR too. Its been a great experience and everyone was sad to leave the place, we will definitely miss camp. But overall everyone was happy that we've pass out. For me, I won't miss a moment I'm there, I'm just happy I'm out of there.

22nd August marks the day Mama finally took baby out for a walk and some cupcakes too.=) Thanks for the walk and cupcakes Mama. And thank Yat for the company and also the fireworks. Sound so wrong. We went to Tong Seng to eat. And I didn't know Mama scared of cats, and my SMS ring tone is some cats meow-ing. lol. Mama so freaked out. Then we walk from Tong Seng( Bugis) to City Hall.

Here is a picture of me and Yat sitting down while waiting for the fireworks to start. Can see my round head huh? We waited so long that we decided to buy $1 ice-cream. And when we did, it finally starts.=)

" I'm not here to see fireworks, I'm here to make fireworks."

- Someone I know, don't want say who.

What's a POP without some fireworks ehh?

Wishes, Hits and Misses

2008-08-17T09:40:00.003+08:00

Wishes

I want the following week to end quickly and get the post I wanted. POP oh! I want to feel useful and wanted by everyone. I want to care for people again. I feel that I don't really care that much anymore. I want someone to rely on cause I don't really know who I can rely on when I need someone. I always think twice before really talking to someone. I think I'm lost and need a guide. I want to get rid of one of my bunkmate who always irritate me with his lies and all the things he do to make people hate him. I don't want to keep quiet about this and keep it all to myself. It's been hurting, a lot. I want to get out of BRTC soon. I want to be fit again. I want her to be okay again. I don't want to see her hurt. I want her to talk to me again. I want to know how she is doing. I want new songs. I want to learn how to fly. I want to eat good food and not camp food. I want an outing soon.( been staying home for 3 weekends). I want to see my friends again. I want a new cap. I want a holiday. I need a break. I want Liverpool to Win EPL this season. I want Fernando Torres to be top scorer. I want Man U to fail. I want to be best in platoon. I want a new lifestyle. I want some new clothings. I want a new watch. I want freedom. I want a packet of tissue paper. I want a glass of water now. I want to eat. I want to talk to the people I care about. I want more time with my laptop. I wish I will be better soon.

Hits

Fernando Torres Hits the Sunderland Net on 83' min. I got top in class for CPR. Nearly perfected the art of "Kiss of Life". I found myself in nanny blog. Nice of nanny to blog about me. I want to talk to her more on msn. Nice goal from Everton's Mikel Arteta, superb free kick. I'm so happy the new EPL season is up and running again. No more boring nights. DotA is great as I'm doing better each and every game I play.

Misses

I miss having long hours for myself. I miss the SIT club room. I miss Mervyn's guitar. I miss playing music on my laptop and being a Deejay. I miss her, too much. I miss talking in front of everyone. I miss acting. I miss performing on stage. I miss making people laugh. I miss being fun. I miss Halimah( force to say). I miss my buddy, playing ChiKoPak. I miss going out. I miss having dates. I miss taking pictures with Za"Gay"Ty. I miss singing along with Kamal. I miss adding fun to funny in Hairul's joke. I miss riding Nasir's bike. I miss working out with Firdaus. I miss eating with my friends. I miss having candle light breakfast with Weishan. I miss walking back from school with Rozi. I miss sitting beside Yuan Ching in lecture. I miss irritating Alvin Lee. I miss cheering on Liverpool with AO and fight with Kamal about Football. I miss Anand's call and Acans place. I miss playing cards with them at the void deck. I miss playing soccer everyday and everynight. I miss scoring alot of goals for my team. I just miss hitting the ball. I miss the sweet voice of my Ex. I just miss long hours talking to her. I miss having conference with friends. I miss using the house phone. I miss watching Wrestling. I miss going out everyday to buy and trade cards. I miss Al-Amin( a good old friend since Kindergarden, where did you go?:( ) I miss sliding the the side railings. I miss singing to myself and think I actually sound good. I miss everyone and everything I use to know.

Summary: I'm a new person and miss the old me. I wish for so many things that I will never get. There are hits and misses in life, someone please help me count my wishes and misses and compare it to my Hits.=)

Packed day

2008-08-10T16:20:00.003+08:00

Woke up at 5am and had a quick bathe, pray and get ready to go to BRTC( Basic Rescue Training Center) for my Reserve Guard Duty. Took me about an hour plus to reach there, sign my name and waited till 830am. After 7 of the main Guard people came, we can go since another 3 will be coming late. It was kinda silly la, go there, sign and wait then can go home.

So headed home, relax abit and off to Tampines for Kimo's sisters wedding. Time moved so fast. I forgot to bring my EZ link so I had to go home again to take it. So silly of me. I keep forgetting things. There were Nasir, Hairul, Ain, Jessica, YJ, Cheryl, Xiaowei, May, Yani and Zaty. We did some chatting and eating and now I'm back home to get ready to go back to camp again. What a life ehh?? No time to take pictures, no time to chill out much and I reduce the amount of games I play.

2 more weeks to POP( Passing Out Parade). OC night is coming soon. I can't wait to see how my platoon mates perform on stage. I wish I could perform. But I'm doing the planning.=)

Nanny go see Olympics, Mama dunno go where, Ally go jogging, Erna helping mum transfer MP3 to her MP3 player and I don't know what there rest are doing. Seems everyone is busy nowadays. haizzah..=(

08-08-08

2008-08-08T21:42:00.003+08:00

NS life is boring. Keep doing the same thing over and over again. And soon enough I'm becoming numb about all the things happening around me. I have the thirst for more punishment now. I'm getting so bored at being cared and treated like a 'glass'. I can't be expected to run, no games can be played and no footdrill at all. This kinda sucks in a sense. But 2 more weeks to POP.

" how you spell popcorn? ...P-O-P..P.O.P. lor!" - Lam To Fai

"how you spell ordinary?" ...O-R-D..O.R.D. ouh!

zzzz..guess friends make jokes and stupid laughters all around. I just don't get it how these people can be so happy while serving NS. I guess I have yet to find motivation to go on with NS. I simply hate NS. I don't like the people, I don't like the style. I hate waking up at 445am ever morning. I hate water parades. I hate dinner. I hate the night snack. I hate mee hoon breakfast. I hate doing maintenance. I hate cleaning the grandstand. I hate cleaning the toilet. I hate sweeping my dorm. I dislike some of my platoon mates. Freaking lazy people. I often cover their backs. Using vulgarities all day and night. wake up with a vulgar word coming out of everyones mouth. nothing is good, really. Serious.

"I asked her to stay, but she wouldn't listen, she left before I had the chance to say...Ouh~"

Ouh well, I love to sing this part some how. I don't know why. I keep on singing this song every morning when I'm feeling blue and down.

"Now its far too late she's gone away..."

Why can't I get my mind off camp. Every night I keep dreaming about cleaning the toilet, sweeping the floor, scrubbing the toilet bowl, whipping the tables and mopping the floor. I wish I could go back to the way life was when I was still in Poly. I miss those days with my OGLs. Some of the best days in my life.

"Every night you cry yourself to sleep, thinking" Why does this happen to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard...?"

I just wish for so many things and things would not have change, that would be better. I'm so serious in camp and don't joke much either. Some times people ask me if I'm alright but I can't answer that since I'm not even sure myself.

" Just give me one more chance to make it right."

I just want to make it right this time. No more excuses. No more lies. Please give me time to work this out. I really want this to work. Can someone help me with my script? Why do I have to plan everything. I don't want to screw this up.

Maybe

2008-08-03T15:46:00.004+08:00

[Verse 1:]
Beep, beep oh look
Now there goes my phone
And once again
I’m just hoping it’s a text from you
It ain’t right
Read your messages twice,
thrice, four times a night
it’s true
Everyday I patiently wait
Feeling like a fool but I do anyway
Nothing can feel as sweet and as real
Coz no way I would’ve waited in pain

[Chorus:]
And maybe it’s true I’m caught up on you
Maybe there’s a chance you’re stuck on me too
Maybe I’m wrong it’s all in my head
Maybe we're afraid of words we both hadn’t said

[Verse 2:]
I’m always connected online
I'm on facebook/myspace all the time
Hoping you've checked my profile
Just can't help wondering
why you play it cool
But sometimes I’m
hopelessly falling for you
Every night on the phone and I
In love with you and I know
that you like it girl
All joking inside lets see you and I
Come out and say what
you’re trying to hide

[Chorus:]
And maybe it’s true I’m caught up on you
Maybe there’s a chance you’re stuck on me too
Maybe I’m wrong it’s all in my head
Maybe we're afraid of words we both hadn’t said

[ Bridge: ]
Like I really want you
I think I need you
Maybe I miss you
I’m thinking of you
Like I really want you
I think I need you
Maybe I miss you
I’m thinking of you

[Chorus:]
Maybe it’s true I’m caught up on you
Maybe there’s a chance you’re stuck on me too
Maybe I’m wrong it’s all in my head
Maybe we're afraid of words we both hadn’t said

Ps: A song I'm currently addicted to.

a Comic Book Story

2008-08-02T22:34:00.008+08:00

I just feel like editing some fun pictures I have and this is what I got. Sorry gay, but your the only one I have taken alot of fun pictures with, thanks for being such a fun person!=)

Captain Marvelous

2008-08-02T19:58:00.002+08:00

By the end of 4 weeks in BRTC( Basic Rescue Training Center), I've learn a lot of lessons in life and how important it is to love what you are doing. Currently, I decided on one thing, and that is, NS life is not that great. I hate NS, I hate everything about it. It just takes away my freedom, most of it. Free time is not even that free too. Either way, you still have to do what is told. I'm like a "Saikang warrior" for the whole 4 weeks I've been there. And you can't depend on anyone there, not even yourself.

Your body will let you down sometimes but your mind is there to push it. With a strong mind, I barely made it through this week. We often had to lie to survive. No one in there can be trusted. But we all just follow the orders of our superiors. I had a hectic week back in and a hectic weekend out. A lot of things to do and so little time, guess time is never on my side.

I currently have a performance to plan out, again. Why do I always volunteer for such things? Why do I even bother to help people who are not even helping themselves? This is where my leadership skills come in. I guess I have to have great influence to push their butt to work with me. Some would be easily influence but some just got big butts to move along. People are getting lazier as the weeks goes by. I really hate this.

"Be a man and don't show it."- Lance Corporal

Thats what I did, i don't show my emotions even my greatest discomfort in the camp. I just hope the next 3 weeks fly faster than I could blink. And thanks for all those who's been there for me when the days of my life gets darker and endure the changes that I'm facing now. Its not easy but I have to finish this. Thanks for all the support, you know who you are.

Why don't I chat that much as I do before? Why don't I talk that much as before? I don't even care of whats happening to people around me. Is it cause I let them live their life without me? Maybe they wanted this. Did I do the right thing? Will I regret if I ever change my ways.

Yesterday, I relive the day when the heartbreak began. Many wouldn't know or many will forget. But it was the date clear in my memory, forever. It was the day I denied, lie and died. Its the saddest story in my life currently. I don't have much sad memories but yesterday was just one of it. And today, is a "happy" day. I don't want to lie anymore or deny it again. She's gone for good...=)

Chapter 20

2008-07-27T13:24:00.002+08:00

Life's been different for me now. Ever since entering SCDF, I've change alot about myself. I'm not the old me who use to love to joke, talk crap and disturb/irritate people everyday. Instead, I tend to be more quiet about life and things happening around me. I don't give out much comments and don't retaliate when people do something to me.

"I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. Become so tired, so much more aware."

So say I might me more matured now. I don't know. But I still enjoy video games. I still love to have fun but not so much. I'm rather more serious now, more discipline and responsible. I don't like others to cover my back as I will do my best to cover my own butt. I do things that needs to be done and don't do things that will cause harm to the environment. Just like the pledge goes...

" I recruit Fawze of Bravo company, pledge to carry out my duties with full application of safety procedures so as to prevent accidents that could cause injuries to our members, members of the public and ourselves"

Safety is always my top priority. However I still got myself hurt. A cut on my left toe and a slight burn on my finger which was caused by the iron. It didn't hurt much as I will endure pain whenever I need to. Just as I will need to endure all the challenges ahead in life. Patience is the key and I guess I'm doing well now. Life goes on and there she goes again, away, further from my life and there's no looking back now. I was just pushed aside and let go. Now I'm,slowly ,taking back my life and moving on with it knowing it was a moment that I will never forget. To have all of you in my life, too many of you to mention now. Keep the support coming, no one can live life alone.

"I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you!
And I know I may end up failing too. But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you..."

Evolution is a mystery, full of change that no one sees. The clock makes a fool of history. Yesterdays so long ago, no one believe in what I know. I see the line in the sand and I'm still trying to figure out who I am.

Everyone's moving along and I just don't want to be left behind. My bunk buddy once told me, a person like me will find someone very special and told me not to give up finding her. And if one day, that person comes along, he told me not to be afraid to ask her. Because anything is possible and there is nothing that I can't do. That made me happier to what he thought about me. Guess my bunk buddy is some what like Nasir, very jiwe and his voice is like Irfan. Seriously. 2 good old pals in one. I'm glad I still find good people in this world.

Friday was Phat Nite V. It was okay. I didn't enjoy myself much, brought a camera but no mood to take picture. I'm just feeling different nowadays. There weren't much people to dance with. I went in once and I just go out like less than 1 minute. And headed back to the VIP room. the room was like half full and not many were dancing like crazy. Its more like a rock show if you ask me. Didn't have any nice girls to dance with too, most were taken, yeah. But I don't find any of my type.=) Maybe my expectations are higher now. It's really difficult to find good ones nowadays, maybe they just faded away. Or maybe I just look things in a different point of view now. a matured mind eh?

Saturday was Dark Knight movie outing. The show was awesome. I was totally speechless. Its everything I expected it to be and more. I rate it 9/10. I didn't want the movie to end. Joker is way cool but only batman was cooler. And I wasn't expecting Two Face to appear. But from the flip of a coin, I expected him to come out soon. Had a chat with the NSboys after that, we had kebab. It looks nice but I couldn't afford one as I'm left with $2. I'm just waiting for my pay to come. So i just see them eat while talking while I just listen. I didn't talk much though.

Many things happened in camp but I guess I can't talk about it here. Its confidential. Anyone want to know, just ask me. I have a lot of NS stories to tell too.=)