Chapter 20

Life's been different for me now. Ever since entering SCDF, I've change alot about myself. I'm not the old me who use to love to joke, talk crap and disturb/irritate people everyday. Instead, I tend to be more quiet about life and things happening around me. I don't give out much comments and don't retaliate when people do something to me.

"I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. Become so tired, so much more aware."

So say I might me more matured now. I don't know. But I still enjoy video games. I still love to have fun but not so much. I'm rather more serious now, more discipline and responsible. I don't like others to cover my back as I will do my best to cover my own butt. I do things that needs to be done and don't do things that will cause harm to the environment. Just like the pledge goes...

" I recruit Fawze of Bravo company, pledge to carry out my duties with full application of safety procedures so as to prevent accidents that could cause injuries to our members, members of the public and ourselves"

Safety is always my top priority. However I still got myself hurt. A cut on my left toe and a slight burn on my finger which was caused by the iron. It didn't hurt much as I will endure pain whenever I need to. Just as I will need to endure all the challenges ahead in life. Patience is the key and I guess I'm doing well now. Life goes on and there she goes again, away, further from my life and there's no looking back now. I was just pushed aside and let go. Now I'm,slowly ,taking back my life and moving on with it knowing it was a moment that I will never forget. To have all of you in my life, too many of you to mention now. Keep the support coming, no one can live life alone.

"I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you!
And I know I may end up failing too. But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you..."

Evolution is a mystery, full of change that no one sees. The clock makes a fool of history. Yesterdays so long ago, no one believe in what I know. I see the line in the sand and I'm still trying to figure out who I am.

Everyone's moving along and I just don't want to be left behind. My bunk buddy once told me, a person like me will find someone very special and told me not to give up finding her. And if one day, that person comes along, he told me not to be afraid to ask her. Because anything is possible and there is nothing that I can't do. That made me happier to what he thought about me. Guess my bunk buddy is some what like Nasir, very jiwe and his voice is like Irfan. Seriously. 2 good old pals in one. I'm glad I still find good people in this world.

Friday was Phat Nite V. It was okay. I didn't enjoy myself much, brought a camera but no mood to take picture. I'm just feeling different nowadays. There weren't much people to dance with. I went in once and I just go out like less than 1 minute. And headed back to the VIP room. the room was like half full and not many were dancing like crazy. Its more like a rock show if you ask me. Didn't have any nice girls to dance with too, most were taken, yeah. But I don't find any of my type.=) Maybe my expectations are higher now. It's really difficult to find good ones nowadays, maybe they just faded away. Or maybe I just look things in a different point of view now. a matured mind eh?

Saturday was Dark Knight movie outing. The show was awesome. I was totally speechless. Its everything I expected it to be and more. I rate it 9/10. I didn't want the movie to end. Joker is way cool but only batman was cooler. And I wasn't expecting Two Face to appear. But from the flip of a coin, I expected him to come out soon. Had a chat with the NSboys after that, we had kebab. It looks nice but I couldn't afford one as I'm left with $2. I'm just waiting for my pay to come. So i just see them eat while talking while I just listen. I didn't talk much though.

Many things happened in camp but I guess I can't talk about it here. Its confidential. Anyone want to know, just ask me. I have a lot of NS stories to tell too.=)