Voices

I hear voices in my head

The council me

They understand

They talk to me, they talk to me!

They tell me things that I will do

They show me things I'll do to you

They talk to me, they talk to me!

You got your rules and your religion

All designed to keep you safe

But when rules start getting broken

You start questioning your faith

I have a voice that is my savior

Hates to love and loves to hate

I have the voice that has the knowledge

And the power to rule your fate

I hear voices crying

I see heroes dying

I taste the blood that's drying

I feel the tension rising

All the lawyers are defenseless

All the doctors are disease

And the preachers all are sinners

And the police just take the grease

All you judges you are guilty

All the bosses I will fire

All you bankers will have losses

And politicians are all liars

I see darkness falling

I hear voices calling

I feel justice crawling

I see faïth has fallen!

There's no 2 of you.

"I'm still reaching out for you

I'm still yearning for your return

I will keep loving you

Even though...

You're only my imagination"

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

What a wonderful day its been for me and everyone else. The year of the Ox is here.

Slept late to watch a boring draw between Liverpool and Everton. I was like scolding the TV because LIverpool keep trying out the same move which didn't work. I wish I was the manager.:P So hadn't had enough sleep and there goes mum, waking me up early in the morning just to be early at east coast. Fear that there will be no space for us to sit.

It was a hot hot day, thats all I can say. Played with my cousins. Tried a whole lot of new things today. I'm beginning to be positive to myself and say yes to almost everything. I should try to learn as much as possible and never give up. Well, I guess it paid off. I learn much from trying out. There's always a first for everything. Attracted so much attention today with people looking at me fall and nearly killed myself..haha

"Meski ku sedar

Rahsia kau dan dia

Ke butakan sebelah mata

Ku genggam bara

Masih ku cinta (terlalu cinta)"

What if one day, I ever have to do this. I don't know if I can live another second doing it. I need to audit PUB soon. Haiz, anyone want to help me. I just need one question a week. damn! Its sucha shitty job to do. I don't like to test people and how they do their work.

I feel like I'm always wrong sometimes. I'm letting people win without a fight. But I can always stop that. I can defend myself till the end of the game. Its weather I want to or not. Football is still the most beautiful thing in my life. I just wish to find something else.

"You can change your style, but you can never change who you are."

Everytime I see your name pops, it hurts me...alot. Somebody save me from myself. What if one day, I ever have to fight my fears, stop the world from destroying itself. Its a big role to play but someone just gotta do it. In life, we need to keep telling ourselves that we can. Say yes and believe we can. We know nothing but cry when we 1st landed on this world. But we can train our mind to learn and do things. Anything is possible.

I kept on thinking that she will come back. I wish she is still here. watching me live my life. I want her but she don't want me. Why so sudden ehh? I just want to see you again. I don't want to stand another day without you.

"I can only complete my perfect painting on the day I found you"

40 tips for a better life in 2009

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.

7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured IN plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds, & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realise that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or e-mail them!)

37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Share this with those you care about. I just did. May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing but happiness come through your door! J


Be stress-free… and smile, you’re best when you’re smiling! Enjoy the rest of the week!

Don't go Kaka'

Pato(left) & Kaka'(right)

It could be the end of an affair. Kaka' is moving to Manchester City. I hope he doesn't. No Kaka' no! I want to protest! I don't want Kaka' in Man City, I want him to stay in Milan. He will be missed if he goes. Just too much is on the line. Man City don't deserve the best player in the world today.

Yesterday, I was back in camp for my duty orderly. Reach HQ at 830pm sharp. Rota 3! most of the provost were chinese. But they were nice people. All armed with PSP and playing the whole night just to keep themselves awake. Glad I know Fauzi. Haha, they keep calling me when there is another guy with the same name.

Spent the night watching movies, Wanted, Hitman, Ironman and Dark Knight. Didn't get enough sleep since it was such a cold night and there is no place to lie on. I just close my eyes while siting on a chair. My whole body ache badly after that. I never want to do such duty again. I still got around 4-6 more duties to go before I ORD. sians -___-"

Final question, who would you have in your team? Pato or Kaka'. Who is hotter? If Kaka' leaves, I guess I will still be supporting Pato. Good luck Kaka' and all the best. Pato is going to shine!=

-Best Players-

10 random facts

I was tagged by SzeKee. So I guess I will just do this quiz for fun.=)

Rules must be followed:

Each blogger must post this rules.

Each blogger must start with ten random facts about themselves.

Bloggers that are tagged need to write about their own blog, ten things and post this rules.

Don't forget to leave them comments telling them they have been tagged and are to read your blog.

10 Random Facts about me.

1. I love to make a good long lasting impression on people.

2. I am very nervous when it comes to meeting girls.

3. I like to think I'm better than everyone else.

4. I love to play as a center forward.

5. Primary 4 was the last time I took MC, never again.

6. I hear earth crying sometimes.

7. I will never ask a girl for her number if I don't know her at all, even if you dare me to.

8. I will love hugs and kisses.

9. I am FAT ( Friendly And Thankful)

10. I am very picky/choosy/frickle minded and love to change my decision.

1. Who's the person that tagged you?

Sze kee.

2. Relationship between you and him? 

My darling, friend, camwhore pal.

3. Three impressions of her?

#1 She is small girl

#2 She loves to give that look when I joke about her..-__-"

#3 She has to stay home most of the time cause of her parents =(

4. If she becomes your enemy, you will?

I will put her in box, and lock it. Throw it down the Singapore River and hope no one finds it.

5. What will you say to the person you like very much?

Untukmu kasih, I'll give the very best of me. I'll be there when you're needing me.

6. Characteristic I like about myself?

My patience, 

7. Characteristic I hate about myself?

I care too much.

8. For the person whom you hate, you say?

Do what ever you want, just don't disturb me.

9. What do people feel about you?

I think they feel I'm a nice person.

10. Your crush?

She is still single=\

On.

Fawze is a good boy.

Fawze can do anything.

Fawze can even do the impossible.

Fawze can be trusted.

Fawze is a responsible boy.

Fawze is very free.

Fawze never complaints.

Fawze can take stress.

Fawze this, Fawze that. One thing Fawze is not, is perfect. Fawze is still human. Fawze can take all that and more, but how much more can Fawze take. You got 4 people under you and you love calling Fawze. You got your own boy to help you do your work and you still ask Fawze for help. Fawze specialize in...Everything and Anything?! No way. 

Fawze wants to be lazy, wants to WALI. Fawze is like BPR. Fawze don't want any of it. I guess its best to treat everyone fairly. But Fawze remembers one thing, life is never fair to anyone. Disappointments. Yes. Shock to see who actually bothers about me. Never thought about it. Still wish you were here. With you.=)

Note: WALI stands for " Walking Around, Looking Important."

BPR stands for " Boleh Pakai Ramai, Biar Pakai Ramai, Bagus Pakai Ramin, Best Pakai Ramai."

Suria Hati Fawze

Yay! Its been playing in my head for 3 days straight and I finally can listen to the song. Suria Hatiku by Taufik Batisah. Love the chorus...

"For you my Love, I'll give the very best of me..."- Taufik

Kau s'lalu membarakan semangat ku.

Biar hari ku mementang waktu, Tetap kau suria hatiku!!! Taufik is still the best Singapore Idol. And he is always my idol.=)

Anyways, weekend was okay. Didn't get to meet with the people I wanted to see. One- Firdaus. Two- Amin. Miss this two close buddies of mine. Last minute changes and it always happens. Life is never a smooth road. But I did meet up with Hairul, Kamal and Nasir on Saturday. Then went to buy the Taufik-Suria Hatiku today with Anand.

Today was okay, disappointed at myself that I couldn't help mama in flash. I have lost most of the flash knowledge. NS is just too slacking and I hope to gain something from it, which is just not happening at the moment. I miss you, mama, cucu, erna. I don't know, but I miss talking to these people. maybe there is more, but I thinking of a few. Ally, I don't know whats happening, maybe you're busy with something, catch up soon. xoxo =P

"Cintamu suci, tak berbelah-bagi. Isi hatimu, takkan ku mengerti. Kan ku abadikan saat denganmu di dalam lukisan hidupku..."- Taufik

hehe, semangat giler singing to myself.hehe..=D

Dead line

My blog looks so dead. My friendster already died. My email is like full with spams. My Facebook is dying with a few games I'm still playing, so its okay. My handphone is dead with no SMS or calls. At the rate I'm going, I won't top up my prepaid for another 3 months...

5 Years passed...

Arrange the words so they form a proper sentence... ( Eat/ Can/ You/ All)

All-You-Can-Eat.

Eat-All-You-Can.

Can-You-All-Eat?

Eat-You-All-Can?

-___-"

Only 4 words and you can make up so many sentence. What if this was in my english paper,sentence construction. Die la liddat..How liddat? So many answers...I miss doing english comprehension, composition... I miss Secondary school. I miss Woodsville Secondary School ( WSS) . I miss the teachers, running away from Discipline Master (DM). Trying to make friend with DM. I miss creating trouble and get to talk with the principle in his/her office.

I miss staying back and cleaning the class room. Doing homework in school, fighting with the Technical Class. I miss eating Softea and drink Slurpee. I miss going home, carrying a stick and beating my friends with it, for fun. I miss catching spiders,frogs,lizards, caterpillars...

So today, I decided to go out with old school pals for a great time. But only manage to get 2 of them. So I decided to go their house and knock on the door. Whoo! like policeman liddat..So I manage to get my old buddy, Amin, handphone number. Its great to hear from an old buddy again. And first thing he ask me was, " got girlfriend already not?" I was like repeatedly saying no and he don't even believe me. Am I expected to have one after 5 years? Well, I wish I could say yes, but 'no' just keep coming out from my mouth. Sad isn't it? Maybe I should just lower my expectations and try to go with the flow. Hope this year will be the year. Last year was a very depressing year and I'm gonna let the past slide... Good nites.=)

A look back->

2008. 

Will forever be the year I regretted everything I did and missed out everything I did not do. 

It has been the worst year of my life. With some good things that happen but the worst always stays in long memory. Had to struggle with FYP and only manage a B for it. Miss out on not saying the things I want to say to her before a long goodbye. Wanted things to go right but ended up on the wrong path. My mistake and I paid for it. 

I've not been in the best of mood. The only thing that is keeping me going are the games that I have. I just kept on gaming to stay alive. Monster Hunter 2, Football Manager, Cabal Online, DotA, Fifa 09 and Fable II. If not for games I would have gone out and commit some crimes and I wouldn't come back home.

Enlisted on 8 July, it was the start of the worst time in my life. I totally hate NS. I feel its a total waste of time. Being stranded and ask to live together with a bunch of dumb people. What better can I ask for in my life? Its like teaching me to live with a bunch of animals doing some crazy shit I never want to do in life. Eventhough it is still a waste of time, I still need to get it done. Its just another obstacle and I'm going to run it down.

Feb ends my 3 years connection with NYP and I graduated on June. It wasn't such a great Graduation as it was filled with mistakes. I didn't manage to say goodbye to everyone. I was very sad that day eventhough I appear to be happy. The day was too short for me and I wasted most of it. I miss all my friends there. I miss schooling.

After NYP, i was left with few months before NS. So Sara intro me a job. Its was a pleasure working with Kimo and Mervyn again. We keyed in car plates while sitting down at the carpark. Just to see how many cars come in and out. And the pay was good too. I still remember sitting down with Mervyn and doing stupid things. Missed the times while I was just sitting in his car and singing songs with him. It was a moment to remember.

Back home, I was filled with troubles whenever it comes to Hari Raya and even Christmas. I always fight with my parents and I blame it on my sister. She thinks home is school, treating family like students? Ouh please laa... I just don't get it. My sis shows total disrespect and I will have to pay for it. She thinks she is so funny, well I'm not laughing. She is just plain boring and I will never want to talk to her again. It really spoils my mood every time she opens her mouth. I rather keep quiet about it but I told mum about it. I just want to say this to sis..." Chicken is ayam, Duck is Itik. Lu tutup lu punya mulut pun cantik!"

Okay after all the bad times, I want to remember those great times. I guess going for Orientation 08 was good. I met up with SK, Erna, Mama and Ally right after it. Then the EXCOs went out to eat and chill out at Starbucks Suntec till late night. VoiceOut 08/09 wasn't that bad as I took many great photos and enjoyed myself to great time. BandzOut was good as we get to see our seniors back and took pics with them. I even went back walking with Azzy and Aini, my Fav 2 seniors of all time. At the event, I also saw her, SMS and she don't even save my number anymore. Wanted to talk to her but she was too far away. And back home after that, I wrote something I shouldn't have a regretted badly. Phat nite wasn't all that great. I was back from camp and didn't have any strength to party much. So I just sat in the VIP room and soon after found out how much I missed. Regretted again. Before I forget, we went for a little Karaoke on on of the days.=P

A day at marina barrage was one of the great days I had this year. Celebrating Christmas again with the favorite people in my life. Hairul got my present! and I got Kamal's. Took tons of pictures. and played with Firesticks. Then we played charade and remember the way we celebrate for everytime we guessed it correctly.." black is black is black is black..uch uch uchuch.." yeah! then we played out favorite game back in Moon cake festival. I guess we still have it. Should have taken a video but it is always a moment to remember and the video keeps playing in my head for every game.

I was posted to SCDF HQ and safe to say that its not as bad as I thought. Met a few great people and not so great people. My name is famous on the 1st day already as people keep screaming my name at the Parade Square. Shit. I was just about to keep a low profile. Now everyone knows me. And see me grow to become an IC as a Private. I guess I'm growing faster than everyone else. I'm in the Service Quality Dept on the 8th floor. Why does everything have be on the 8th floor? -__-"

Okay, I'm tired of looking back as there are so many things to type in one post. Anyways I would like to thank some people for making my year of 2008 a fruitful one. Not according to any order... Mum for taking care of me and cooking great food and buying even greater food. Dad for buying me a new TV, supporting me all the way and getting a MacBook Pro and XBOX 360 for me. It was great and I really appreciate it. Bro for keeping me updated with stuffs only he knows of. Sis for keeping me on my toes and help me in anger management.

Friends... Halimah for all those virtual kisses and kissing, muacks. Asra for still talking to me eventhough we parted a long time ago. Ananda for keeping my weekends great and still keeping in touch. Acan for recruiting me and playing soccer with some great players and trying to get me fit again. Nasir for smiling and asking me outs for breaks and playing Monster Hunter. Hairul for being like a close brother and eating together and many stuffs together. Firdaus for still being that great Gamer and a greater friend who always walk me to school. Kamal for the funny moments and being able to talk to you anytime. Yew king for being there and always able to go out when theres no one else. Hidayat and Shikin for keeping me awake at nights for DotA and going out often on weekends. Bugis seems to be our fav place and accompanying me to buy me stuffs. Fana for being able to talk anytime and anywhere, eventhough we never met, I know you have been great friend. Rozi for accompanying me to Queensway and always able to talk to you about anything and random stuffs only we know of. Yuan Ching for being able to go out with me when there's no one else and ask me to accompany you to places, I never know anyone else would. Aida(boocuk) for talking to me on my visit to school and always being my one and only boocuk. Erny for those crazy moments and talking and keeping me updated on things, will take care kay...Erna for always looking for me when she's online and talking to me about almost anything. Sze kee for being my darling and missed going out with you too. Mama for the cup cake and one night walk and dinner. Miss mama always and you are always cuter than b la..Nanny Joyce for talking to me through out the year and always keep me on my feet when I'm only able to crawl at any point of my life. Nana for the hurt and pain but I will still forgive you for everything and I still miss the times we shared.Sara for giving me a job and always there for a chat and keeping me happy with those hard baked cookies. And keep on laughing girl...Ally for being wild and crazy and saying the nicest things to me to keep me feeling that I'm still needed in this world, you kept me going girl. Fadilah for being so pretty. Marzura for being the best and always available even though taken. Ishak for being a great teacher. Isaac for being there to guild be along. Jim for being such a crap and funny guy. Irfan for being nice always and taking responsibility. Ismail for being such a one of a kind friend and being emo with me. Realise how many 'I's I have in my Dept. Firdauz for being the best ustaz I can ask for and treating me and believing I am still a good person.Ashy for keeping my FYP great fun with those every day lecture and I miss Cheryl Mallery.. Cheryl Ong for still being the best buddy I could ask for. AO for being a great soccer fan and always supporting Liverpool... 

Everyone still thinks I can be good. But what if the dark side takes over me...

I would like to think I'm still good and will always be good. Thanks for 2008.