08-08-08

NS life is boring. Keep doing the same thing over and over again. And soon enough I'm becoming numb about all the things happening around me. I have the thirst for more punishment now. I'm getting so bored at being cared and treated like a 'glass'. I can't be expected to run, no games can be played and no footdrill at all. This kinda sucks in a sense. But 2 more weeks to POP.

" how you spell popcorn? ...P-O-P..P.O.P. lor!" - Lam To Fai

"how you spell ordinary?" ...O-R-D..O.R.D. ouh!

zzzz..guess friends make jokes and stupid laughters all around. I just don't get it how these people can be so happy while serving NS. I guess I have yet to find motivation to go on with NS. I simply hate NS. I don't like the people, I don't like the style. I hate waking up at 445am ever morning. I hate water parades. I hate dinner. I hate the night snack. I hate mee hoon breakfast. I hate doing maintenance. I hate cleaning the grandstand. I hate cleaning the toilet. I hate sweeping my dorm. I dislike some of my platoon mates. Freaking lazy people. I often cover their backs. Using vulgarities all day and night. wake up with a vulgar word coming out of everyones mouth. nothing is good, really. Serious.

"I asked her to stay, but she wouldn't listen, she left before I had the chance to say...Ouh~"

Ouh well, I love to sing this part some how. I don't know why. I keep on singing this song every morning when I'm feeling blue and down.

"Now its far too late she's gone away..."

Why can't I get my mind off camp. Every night I keep dreaming about cleaning the toilet, sweeping the floor, scrubbing the toilet bowl, whipping the tables and mopping the floor. I wish I could go back to the way life was when I was still in Poly. I miss those days with my OGLs. Some of the best days in my life.

"Every night you cry yourself to sleep, thinking" Why does this happen to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard...?"

I just wish for so many things and things would not have change, that would be better. I'm so serious in camp and don't joke much either. Some times people ask me if I'm alright but I can't answer that since I'm not even sure myself.

" Just give me one more chance to make it right."

I just want to make it right this time. No more excuses. No more lies. Please give me time to work this out. I really want this to work. Can someone help me with my script? Why do I have to plan everything. I don't want to screw this up.