Every time there is something coming up, I will be so stress up and trying to get everything right. I spend too much time planning and making sure everything goes to plan. But actually, I should let the event just flow and try to enjoy myself.
I kept on thinking like an adult and try to prevent so many bad things from happening. Like preventing myself from getting bored. Which I will plan to play my PSP and listen to music. So before I leave home, I will need to get it all right and fully charge them. Then I will tend to forget some great things in life like..enjoying myself with friends.
My mind is always floating somewhere else. I always think about tomorrow and what the future lies for me. And I think, its hard for me to think about the present. I will never enjoy myself at any point when I'm thinking to myself, what will be next for me. As a matter in fact, I will not enjoy any of the moments we use to have. I think I've been like this for quite some time now.
I hope it goes away. Or maybe I've change for good.
I always think of what I should do in future and how it will effect me. I tend to get lost and if things don't go as plan, I will lose myself and tend not to carry on anymore. I quit easily nowadays. But only with people will I carry on again.
I can't even save myself from falling, how do I expect to save anyone else. I'm becoming evil. I can feel it. Why is this happening? I hear the evil voices in my head now.
Remember that there was a hero who was the hope of the universe on his hands, and turn evil. Instead he took the world on his feet and step on it. That's what I feel is happening to me now.
Will I turn on the world I love so much?
No turning back eh?
Just shut up will you.
I am no longer your puppet.
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