Just another day.

For the next year(2009), here are the things to get done:

Get a car license.
Finish a year of NS.
Don't get charge for what ever reason.
Don't take MC.
Change phone by the end of next year.
Plan for what to do after NS.
Install XP on my Macbook Pro
Get promoted to CPL before year ends.
Find a new hobby and things to do on weekends other than gaming.
Get fit to play Soccer again.
Try to learn to control my dark side.
Find a new girlfriend, if that's even possible.
Strengthen my iman and pray 5 times a day.
And don't emo and complain so much.

These are what I need to achieve before the year 2009 ends. A new year comes and I just feel like its just another day...

Destiny

I will not post what I feel right now. I feel like shit kay?

So many things happen. Its like it always happens on a happy occasion. It seems like this year, it keeps happening on a great day for everyone and it will turn out to be a bad day for me.

I anticipated that it will be the same for New Years day. Can anyone save me? I just can't seem to save myself. Destiny awaits...

The drug and the addicts.

First question, do I look like a drug addict? Do I take drugs to live? yes no? I don't. Its been the third time I took a urine test this month. I wonder if they realize it was me again for the third time running. Maybe they just love watching me pee into the bottle or love the smell of my urine? Or maybe my urine is a cure to cancer and they are taking some valuable samples. After look at both negative and positive points, I don't really know why I need to go for many urine test. -__-"

Anyways, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs. My addiction is competition!!!

Get you gaming set box ready coz I'm going online again this Christmas! okay, I don't know if I have anything better to do than gaming? No one is going out ehh? I hate staying at home. Now I realize how much I miss going out. But today I went out, like finally and in my uniform which is so hot as I had to cover myself with my jacket so no one will know I from SCDF. but den again, people do look and stare at me. Maybe its because they think my boots shine a lot a lot..:P

Met up with old SIT club friends, YC and AL. Had dinner with them at a food court. YC recommended me this Indon dish which I waited very long for since the queue was so bloody long. But it was worth the wait. Must go eat it again some other time. We were at Plaza Singapura, shopping for stuffs YC was looking for, so we just accompany her around. Then I thought I saw some one I know at Daiso. Believe or not, its been like 3 years or so since I saw Nadya. haha, but I didn't talk to her or what. Guess I just walked away.

On the way back home, I was looking at some couples walk together and a flash back came to me. I was looking back at those old days. It flash to me that I was at Orchard Road looking across when I saw her standing in front of HMV. Its like her face was the only one I saw. Then it flash to me again, we walking around Causeway Point and I held her hand for the 1st time when we were going home together. 3rd flash came to my head and it was us eating together in LJS. 4th one was us talking at blk L lvl 5. fhew..5th was us walking from YCK MRT to school. So many flashes came to me at one time and I was so blur I need to put my head down and rest.

Fhew...those were the times I had and the bestest time of my life. I wish I could have it all back, back to the days... Guess its all gone, I have to move on. A year passed and things change. Nothing about this world is ever the same.

Your still a drug I just can't get my hands off. I need to see a doctor...soon.=p

SQD Dept Outing.

I just feel I should upload these few pics here. These are my current department people. SQD rocks! happy ORD-ing Erry and Jim!=) hope you will have a great life outside and god bless. Maybe I should intro you the people working with me... From bottom left..Hamdan, Khairuazzman (Erry Guerrero) and his GF. Top from left, Irfan, Isaac,Ismail, Imran(Jim), Safwan, Raqib, Hafiz, ME and Ashfaq Alam. Service Quality Department NSFs of SCDF.

Stress on my back

Been such a hectic week for me right after my one week break. Its like everything thats not done is on me now. All the left over work is on my shoulders and its starting to hurt my back. I got this whole list of work to do and I don't think I would give anyone else to do it cause my 'juniors' are not yet trained to do it. So there I was having a lot of problems in office and not to mention the problems I have out of it.

Okay lets list out the things I kena'. Ermm. I was caught for having long hair and was force to cut and show the next day. Kena urine test cause they scared I might be taking drugs cause eventhough I sick and dying, I seem to come to work everyday and don't seem to be tired. But I am tired and I don't take drugs. I'm just superhuman sometimes.  I was force to march as the 'penanda' for a few or should I say multiple times for failing to march properly. I was to design and do a layout for the office and redesign everything. Like become Interior designer already. I got like 5 reports to do in one day and its not those short short ones and I ask my 'junior' to do also useless, more mistakes and more headache for me. I printed like 3 cartons of paper which is like 500 per stack and 4 stack in one carton..adds up to 6000 paper used in 2 days that I did printing. superly crazy amount I should say. That does not include the other times I made mistakes and print and print like no body business.

And this amounts to such great amount of stress and on Thursday, I woke up in the morning feeling a bit down. Then I sneeze and guess what. My whole body was paralyzed for a moment. I could feel my lower body. After a while, I felt a huge pain on my spine. I think I dislocate my nerves somewhere. It really felt like my kidney had gone somewhere else and it really hurts until now. Had a hard time walking and my leg is so hard to control as it don't want to even move sometimes. Its really weird but I at least I can move it most of the time. Thank god.

I hope this pain goes away soon and without seeing any doctor. I hate seeing doctors.-__-"

Liverpool VS Real Madrid! Juande Ramos VS Rafa Benitez! Raul VS Gerrard! Reina VS Casillas! Diarra VS Mascherano! Guti VS Alonso! Cannavaro VS Carragger! Higuain VS Torres! I can't wait!!!=)

Okay enough of that, if you ask me how life is now, I would say its really boring. Too much work over my head. I need something, I think I need someone. But kinda think about it again, why would I? The missing part of me is still missing I guess. Let it be, for now...

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Looking forward.

I think I tried too hard to fix what is wrong than doing things that is right. It might sound weird but ..err..let me explain.

Every time there is something coming up, I will be so stress up and trying to get everything right. I spend too much time planning and making sure everything goes to plan. But actually, I should let the event just flow and try to enjoy myself.

I kept on thinking like an adult and try to prevent so many bad things from happening. Like preventing myself from getting bored. Which I will plan to play my PSP and listen to music. So before I leave home, I will need to get it all right and fully charge them. Then I will tend to forget some great things in life like..enjoying myself with friends. 

My mind is always floating somewhere else. I always think about tomorrow and what the future lies for me. And I think, its hard for me to think about the present. I will never enjoy myself at any point when I'm thinking to myself, what will be next for me. As a matter in fact, I will not enjoy any of the moments we use to have. I think I've been like this for quite some time now. 

I hope it goes away. Or maybe I've change for good. 

I always think of what I should do in future and how it will effect me. I tend to get lost and if things don't go as plan, I will lose myself and tend not to carry on anymore. I quit easily nowadays. But only with people will I carry on again. 

I can't even save myself from falling, how do I expect to save anyone else. I'm becoming evil. I can feel it. Why is this happening? I hear the evil voices in my head now. 

Remember that there was a hero who was the hope of the universe on his hands, and turn evil. Instead he took the world on his feet and step on it. That's what I feel is happening to me now.

Will I turn on the world I love so much?

No turning back eh?

Just shut up will you.

I am no longer your puppet.

Turning grey...

So what, I end up turning into something no one wants to be. I use to be green and now I'm grey. I don't think I can be what you want me to be. Even if I was, you couldn't even see it in me. How could you think of me as the bad apple? Why is he always the good one when I'm the one one who always helps you in everything and listens to you always. I'm sick of it. Being treated like some animal. Doing all the things I don't want to. Doing all the things you ask me to and what do I get. Get stupid comments and being lectured for things I would never do. I hate being lectured. Am I stupid even after getting a diploma. I'm not broken and I'm still doing well. So why do I deserve to listen to those everyday nags kids usually get? I feel sorry for myself. I wasn't able to prove to you that I can be trusted and I'm matured enough. 

I hate being treated like a kid. Start treating me like an adult or I will never end up being one.

Every hari raya turns out to be a bad day for me this year. Yes, I was down again today. I was suppose to go to somewhere but end up staying at home just because I had some disagreement somewhere along the way. And the rain didn't help it one bit. Its all the rains fault. IF it never rained, things might turn out different. Having all these thoughts on my head. It really starts to haunt me everyday. When will i finally be treated as an adult? Cos' I still feel I'm lost kid and a baby. I just wish I could cry again and spill all the milk on the floor.

And I need a new phone. Thats the reason I would never pick up your calls. My phone is dying on its own. Every time I want to change and prove to my dad that its really dead, it will auto revive. Smartest phone in the world, indeed. It leaves me when I need it and comes to me when I'm leaving it. 

Glad to be a friend

Thanks for being my friend. 

Even though we might not see each other everyday or every weekend. 

You will always remain in my heart. 

No matter the distant, I will think of you when we're apart.

Ouh well. Thank you Ally!

Let me see, how we first started. I was walking around block L, and somehow you spotted me. I love going to the club room which was then at level 5 of block L. I never thought any freshie would spot me since I'm only an advisor of the Orientation and people don't really bother I guess. But you spotted me. hehe, which is pretty cool. So I first notice you when you added me on friendster. HAHA, I still remember k. From there we build on our friendship. I don't know how but we slowly did. I was friendly and you were too. Always type in caps, I guess you love talking out loud eh, don't wanna miss a word you say. You're very open in talks, eventhough you talk softly when we met. I know you just trying to show decency and respect. I understand you, and so you too. At the end of it, we became friends. Whenever you need me, I will be there. =)

1st day of the week and its already so tough and hectic and hurts me alot. My colleague is just so irritating sometimes. Taking away half of the M&Ms that i brought.=( I hate it when people took away too much of my candy away. Its like taking candy from a baby. :P

I just can't seem to find time to play my games. I need time! can? Okay, I just can't wait for this week to end and I will be free to do what I want for a week. Guess I need to plan what I'm gonna do. Till' then, I will just have to endure. Ouh well, I'm up so early to watch Liverpool VS West Ham. And I going to catch up on my games.hehe. Take care everyone.

Spend spend spend, Christmas is Near!

Weekends was okay. happy with myself as I buy a lot of things...for myself. Lets list it down the things I got.

1)Football Manager 09- $59.90
2)Linkin Park: Road to Revolution-$20.95
3)Fable II: Limited Edition- $45(2nd hand price)
4)Gears of War- borrowed from cousin
5)Game Plan(DVD)- borrowed from cousin
6)Xbox LIVE 12 month subscription-$88

Guess I spent alot ehh? Jus because next week, I will be clearing my last 4 days of leave and its Hari Raya Haji. Means I will be free from 6 Dec- 14 Dec(9 days). Coolness! I thought of watchin some movies too. But I guess no one will be free to watch with me. Anyone free, tell me kay. I don't want to spend my whole week at home playing game alone. It really kills you know. I need a social life too.

One thing I forgotten to get is some presents for the gift exchange. haha! And I still need to change my phone, buy a new cap. My cap is getting old and rusty. Ouh yes, Saturday, me saw nanny Joyce at Toa Payoh! I see her hair, I know its her, no need see her face. LOL. Great to see people you know are still around. I've been going around alone and getting stuffs for myself. I felt happy but it was not complete. It was not as fun as having people around, following you. I'm alone.=(

Today, went to EXPO for SITEX with brother. I asked him to come with me since I can't stand going alone. He brought a new HDD while I got a 12 mth Xbox Live. The place was very packed and I found a solution to pass through the crowd quickly. Secret is to move sideways. Its really faster and you can squeeze your way thru. It only works on skinny people. Those round people, you move sideways, you stomach still block laa..so cannot. So me and bro got out of the place quick and easy. We got what we need and chiao!

OKay, me chiao 1st. Another 5 more days of work and I will be off for my leave. Can't wait.

Fable II is a great game. Going to get addicted soon. FM09 is also fun. how to play 2 games at once? die laa..can I have more breaks?

Thunder

I am addicted to this song. Everyday go out of house to work, I will listen to it repeatedly and going home, still got to listen to it. I don't know what's up with me and this song. I just sounds great to me.

*** *************** ***Thunder- Boys like Girls
Today's a winding road that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa
(whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried
(I tried)

I tried to read between the lines
(I tried to look in your eyes)
I want a simple explanation
(For what I'm feeling inside)
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today's a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know
(I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today's a winding road that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder, and I said

Your voice (this is getting colder)
Was the soundtrack of my summer (yeah the summer's over)
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain (well today's a winding road)
Oh baby bring (today I'm on my own)
On the pain
And listen to the thunder
*** ************** ***
I bold the words I love that means a lot to me.
PS: I still hope you will miss me when I'm gone.

Reminder for me...

1) Fable II - $45 to cousin

2) Bus concession - $61 to SBS

3) Xbox LIVE gold Membership- $33

4) Linkin Park: Road to Revolution- $ 20++

5) Macbook Casing/Protector/Bag- $??.??

Need to shop again on Saturday- anyone wanna come along?=P

Boring weekends

I don't know why, but I have a very boring weekends. And I think I'm turning out to be a very boring person. I always play safe, watch my back, front, left and right.. right before I make any decision. I don't take risk anymore. It's like, I don't want to ruin my life but at the same time, I think I am. I'm boring. Why can't I be like anyone else, who goes out on weekends with friends they know and just chill out. What happen to the times when I can just call out and we can just talk just about anything. I'm running out on ideas on what to talk about.

Is it because I am left so far behind that I don't see the need to even go out to talk to people anymore. What happen to me? Its very hard to find people to go out with, I just don't have any idea on who I should go out with. Its even harder for me to ask people out cause I'm such a boring person that I don't have any idea of where to go and what to do. All I do is sit at home, on my laptop or my xbox and just play by myself. No one entertains me anymore. Everyone is busy or people just don't care. Glad I still have Hidayat who talks to me and plays Warcraft III even though its such and old game. But still, I get to socialize, talk to people you see. I just don't know who else is there to talk to. Just found an evil twin, named Fauziah. haha... Mama is gone. Nanny comes around once in awhile but she got homework to finish up. Halimah will come and just laugh at me for no reason.

My life is just standing still and I'm still trying to improve my game. Fifa 09 is a great game but I'm not getting any better at it. I keep on losing and I just don't know of any tactics to use right now. FM09 is another game that I keep on losing. I think I should just quit being a manager and try my best at being a player. Ouh ya, played soccer on Friday. Police found a dead body lying below the Kallang Bridge near block 64. I had no idea what happen. But when the police came around while we were having our game, they asked for our IC. Well, I didn't bring it! haha, too use to telling my name to the police anyways.

Soccer game was great, teamed up with Hafiz, Acan and Zaiful. We won quite a few games but we were having trouble scoring. I wasn't playing my best. I got tired too easily and lost the ball a couple of times. But I was sure proud of the 1st kick when I scored with wonderful curling shot. That was the only highlight of the night. I did score one but the ball hit so hard off the post and came back out. And they say it won't count. I was like..errr..okay. I guess I shouldn't shoot so hard. I guess wearing boots makes me shoot stronger but I still need to control my power. My accuracy was way out of my standard. I will need to improve my technique in shooting, passing, reading the game, making runs to the box, jumping for the ball, control on my chess, dribbling and keeping the ball close to my feet. What a list for me to improve on. Acan will be counting on me to make it as right winger since he needed one for his team.

Ouh well, I still got a lot to learn and a lot to improve on. I want a driving license.=)

Back to School

Brought a Macbook Pro on Sunday right before going for a rare family outing. My dad brought a new camera. So cool, now I can use the camera more often.=) I wonder if I would ever use a camera again. I don't feel like using camera sometimes. Ever since I lost all of it that day..haiz..

Today was a new day for me and I made full use of it by visiting school.=) I had to wake up very early just to see if SK is online. Need to confirm weather she coming along to surprise Erna! In the end, she cannot make it since something pop up on the last minute. So I rushed to CT hall to get some donuts.

I wanted to get 6 actually, I end up ordering 12. okay, long story, I was kinda dumb and blur that morning. But who cares. I reached school as early as 1125 to find a suitable place. It was a very hot day. Saw Liana too while I was there. Erna and Jane Jane soon reached and I wished her another belated birthday.hehe, I guess she was shock to see me. But she didn't show any emotions liddat. how liddat?

So we chatted very long at north canteen. And we even talk like a lot of things to talk at the blk S corridor. Aloysious join us too. Talked like from 1130 - 2pm. Very long and my legs wobbling already. Then SMS Erny and gave her a donut. With her was her FYP mate, Suhailah. She say that I got call her during my OGL days. I guess I just can't remember. I called so many people that night. So I gave her a donut too. Macam clearing all the extra donuts I brought la kan..hehe

Then I went to look for my boocuk! But I call call, cannot call. So I called Mai instead. And Mai lead me to her lair. She playing photoshop, act like doing work. But you can't lie to your atok, can see you pretending to do work. So I hanged out with boocuk in her lab. People thought I'm her bf? haha, please la, no. I'm only her atok.hehe, played sudoku with her. Then we talk talk very long. all the way to 430pm till she have to go for some briefing. So have to say bye bye to school once again. Till next time...

60 Things

60 things most girls don't know...
Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6 guys..you're a HOE)

-1-"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

-2-Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

-3-Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

-4-Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

-5-Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

-6-Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

-7-A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

-8-Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

-9-Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

-10-Guys get jealous easily.

-11-Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

-12-Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

-13-Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

-14-Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

-15-Girls are guys' weaknesses.

-16-Guys are very open about themselves.

-17-It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

-18-Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

-19-If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

-20-A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

-21-Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

-22-Guys will brag about anything.

-23-Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

-24-No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

-25-Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

-26-Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

-27-Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

-28-Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

-29-Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

-30-Try to be as straightforward as possible.

-31-If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

-32-If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

-33-When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

-34-When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

-35-Guys don't really have final decisions.

-36-If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

-37-If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

-38-When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

-39-When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

-40-Guys like femininity not feebleness.

-41-Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

-42-A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

-43-Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

-44-Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

-45-Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

-46-Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

-47-If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

-48-Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

-49-A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

-50-No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

-51-Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

-52-We don't like girls who are too skinny.

-53-We love it when girls talk about their boobs.

-54-Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like whether it's a one time deal or not ....

-55-Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours...

-56-When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

-57-Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

-58-Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...

-59-Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.

-60-When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

PS: I found this on the web. I guess this guys probably right about some stuffs. Watcha think?

Happy Birthday Mums!

Life is so unfair, So many games, So little time! how to play them all!!??
And where do girls fit into the picture?

Anyways, I would first like to wish Mummy and Mama a Happy Happy Happy Birthday!!! I know, I'm like living with 2 mums in my life. hehe, both so caring and so loving.=) Without their love, I wouldn't be anywhere in this word. With Mummy's guidance, I've become a good person. With Mama's crazyness, I've become a fun and loving person. Thank you very nice.=)

Been thinking alot lately about which Computer to buy to replace my nearly dead, almost going to get burried IBM Laptop. I guess I should go for an Apple Macbook? But my dad recommended me not to buy a laptop cause I'm not going to use it to school or for business purposes. So I should be getting somthing like a Sony VGX-TP3G ( Intel Duo Processor 2.4GHz, 2GB memory( Max 4GB), 750 GB harddisc( SATA 7200rpm), Blu-ray combo Drive.)
It sound more reasonable as I already have a LCD monitor and its taking way too much space if I were to buy another laptop. A small PC would be good enough. I just need a powerful one to play my games. I know, I already got an Xbox360. LOL, i really am too much am I? What to do? I love games too much.

Anyways, speaking of which, I really can't decide what game to play next. Too many laaa!!! Okay, I need not buy Gears of War 2 or Grand Theft Auto 4 as I can borrow it from my cousin. I am borrowing his Lost Oddysey game when I went to his house yesterday. It was great fun playing with him eventhough he beat me in playing all of the games. Guitar Hero was great fun. I guess I should consider buying the whole set and putting it in my house. Come on friends! lets come and play together! hehe. The game I should be getting now will be Fable 2. My cousin is trying to get a 2nd hand one which will be cheaper. So I will just wait for it. For now, I will be playing Fifa 09 and Lost Oddysey, a 4 disc RPG whoo!!!Some of the other things I wanna get would be a new pair of shoes. I want these snikers, Nike Airforce! It would make a great addition to my collection of shoes. And ouh ya, I bought a Kaka' Jacket last week on my outing with Rozi and YC. They were great fun to be with. We had a great time.Talking about our lives now as it was back in primary school. We went Ikea and talking bout what our future house would be like. Here are a glimpses as what I'm talking about.

Thanks again to Rozi and YC for a wonderful time. Will see you soon.=) Take care. And try to enjoy working life. Damn!

36-24-36

She was a once in a lifetime.
Soon after I let her go.
She was a face in the crowd.
A scent so wonderful.
She had the perfect figure 8.
Soon I notice her looking at me.
She slept the whole way through.
How I find her so beautiful.
She did smile on the way.
How I wished I could have time to smile backed.
She didn't say a word.
I just wished I made the first move.
She was going back home.
Damn! I'm in uniform again.

Fair skin, tall, matured, long silky smooth black hair, big brown eyes.
Your glasses make you look sexy and you are all I ever wished for.
How I wish I would know who that mysterious girl was.
Man, I blew my chance again.

I stood right beside you and you decide to sit right beside me.
I am as I was the day I arrived here...still a mystery.

Its great to play TOGETHER

I should probably blog when I'm happy. haha, reason for me not blogging is because life has just been great for me. I've not been in trouble or face much problems yet at this point of my life, which is good. Rozi say I shouldn't blog horrible stuff of me being emo anymore. Then I wonder what should I blog about. I've moved on and I'm getting ready to face future challenges. Life is all about challenges. I guess if life is just smooth sailing all the way, then it wouldn't be life itself.

Lets see what I did on the weekdays. Its great people remember your birthday and even wish you too, although its late or whatever, it don't matter. At least people know you're a year older. I hate it when it comes to my birthday cause it just reminds me that I'm getting older and need to grow up. Well, since the previous year, I've been growing up, making mistakes, learning from them and hope to correct all the things I did wrong.

Office in HQ is great, everyone is relax and very friendly. I'm getting to know more people and getting famous for the right reasons. I guess I will need to make friends if I were to survive my NS life. Making friends is easy, finding a good friend that will stick by your side is hard. I'm glad I have some good friends, or should I say great friends who still cares and remembers me.

Looking forward to playing new games like Gears of War 2. Heard its great and everyones playing it. Maybe I should get a copy of the game. Wanted to buy GTA4 too and some RPG for my XboX360. But I don't think I will have time to play all of them, so I guess I will just buy a few and play since games nowadays are quite expansive and I really want to save up for my driving license.

Fifa09 is a great game! I was playing it online with some people that I don't really know. Imagine all the people asking for the ball when I got in..all in different languages. OK, to elaborate more, I was playing PRO mode. which means, I only get to control a player. Its 10 v 10! omg, only the goalkeeper is AI. So imagine Germany VS Brazil. Me got the honour to play Ronaldinho, Left Attacking Midfield. And I got to listen to 9 other people asking for the ball when I receive it. Damn, some of them said pass, but some said don't know some spainish, arabic or whatever. But one thing is certain, when someone scores, everyone shouted only one word. GOAL! its an international word. That is what makes football so great. Beautiful kan?

Yesterday, Yat cam over to play xbox at my place and watched Arsenal VS Man utd. Arsenal's Samri Nasri was the man who sealed the win. Both of us were cheering on Arsenal, eventhough we were both Liverpool Fans. Liverpool won against WBA with 2 1st half goals from Robbie Keane7. Arbeloa scored a stunning 90 min goal that seals it. Great night. Eventhough I didn't watched the 2nd half, I stayed awake to finish my 1st. Sorry Rozi, i said i was sleeping, i lied but its only because Keane scored just before I was going to sleep, that kept me awake and wanted to watch more of it since I saw his form coming up and I knew he will score more and He DID!

I guess thats all for my weekend update, I will try to update more soon kays. I'm thinking if I should get a Macbook or a Vaio? ermm..

21st Birthday=)

One small joke before I begin...

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone.
A part of me is getting hard already!

Haha! that me laughed. okay, Its abit stupid though.

Okay, today was my 21st birthday. I had so many people wishing me all over the world. Should I count my blessings? I don't know, too many to count. I'm blessed with good friends who care for me. I got friends who treat me like I'm the greatest friend in the world! right?*winks* I didn't know I did so much and impact so many lives in the process. I could have done more but I'm still 21 and I guess I should be at the growing part of my life where I finally become a real adult. Should stop joking too much and start settling down to think about my future.

Maybe I should forget the past and let go of all the regrets I have. Most thing I regretted the most is letting more people into my life where I should have. I still miss you though. Regrets not going to bring me anywhere but letting go will.

Today was an awful day with the rain..rain~ rain~ go away, come again on nanny's birthday. little baby want to go out and play! Mama working and baby stayed indoors.
But best thing bout today is that Hidayat and Shikin came to my house and celebrated my birthday with a Pandan cAKE!! Very nice can!!! i love the cake and love you guys! As again, I must go count my blessings again. I had such wonderful friends and such a wonderful life. I just wished you can be part of my list of friends.=)

My 21st. a day early

Had a great outing to Plaza Singapura with Hairul, Boon Kin, Kamal, Hidayat and Shikin! As usual, people come late. But its okay, I'm use to waiting. We wanted to watch the coffin at 1st but Kamal said its a boring show and we wanted something more scary. So we decided to go for Rec. Its okay la, scary but not so. Alot of blood and all, but the story line is mostly bout some virus and disease, which can spread and turn people into zombies and go crazy, biting people all over.

At the end of the movie, we went for dinner at KFC. Met XiaoWei!!!, along the way. Its nice to meet up with my favorite bunch of people again. We hanged out at SMU and ate our KFC there, beside a white chick and some people playing feesbees. Went to SMU toilet to wash up, the place is so cool. Like so public and I feel like I'm an SMU student liddat. haha!

After that we went over to Manga Cafe'.Where we didn't know we need to pay, $1/ hr to read the books. We went in, macam sardine cap kapak dinosaur. Anyhow go in, read some magazines, like our own library then the guy asked if we had signed in or not. And we left soon after without paying. Sorry la, 1st time, don't know mah. Too bad lor.=P

Soon after, we walked to Funan IT mall to buy some of my very own XBOX 360 accessories. If you all don't know, I brought an XBOX360 last weekend and been playing ever since. Sorry didn't update that earlier. Been fun having it around the house. Like my very own pet to play with. Got ready another wireless controller for someone who is coming today to play with me. Wee~

We headed to J.CO where I had a surprise birthday Donuts!!! whoo! 6 donuts all for me! Thanks to Hairul, Kamal and BoonKin and we shared them all and eat them all slowly. hehe. The counter had a few cool girls making drinks. God, I can't believe I look at girls at Starbucks, Coffee Bean and even J.Co! lol. At least mama use to work in on of the place. hehe, love u too mama! Great to hang out there though its abit cramp there. Who cares anyway. Went up to Robinsons to meet Mervyn & Eileen. I can't believe everyone is so close by. What a small world. Even YJ and Jessica came next. Wow! cool kan?

We finally settled down at Starbucks for a chat and thats how I ended my day. No pictures were taken. You want to know why? I don't see a reason why I should, I'll just lose the pictures again. When I leave this world, people won't be keeping my pictures either.=)

Here I leave my mark in blogspot. Nothing last forever kan? and wished don't come through. I wished for something last year during my birthday and it didn't come true so I won't be making any wishes this time around. You will never come back.

If you love someone...

ORIGINAL QUOTE
THE NEW VERSIONS...

Pessimist
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she ever comes back, she's yours.
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was...

Optimist
If you love someone,
Set her free...
Don't worry, she will come back...

Suspicious
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she doesn't come back within some time, forget her.

Patient
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back...

Playful
If you love someone,
Set her free...
*If she comes back, and you love her still Set her free again...

Repeat*

Schwarzenegger's fans
If you love someone,
Set her free...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person
If you love someone,
Don't set her free...

MBA
If you love someone,
set her free instantaneously,
and look for others simultaneously.

Which kind of a boyfriend are you? I'm still asking that question myself. Which one do you think I am?

Best thing about tonight

Okay, one week passed and I just couldn't find time to blog much. Nothing much to blog about. I wanted to blog yesterday but I forgotten what I wanted to say. Been pretty busy shopping stuff. Went for X08 with my cousin, played a few Xbox360 games and decided to get myself a console.

The event was okay, saw a few performances and a few girls were pretty hot too. Their perfume is extremely strong and very seducive. I wonder what they put in perfumes nowadays. Too bad all of them are chinese, so many tatoos, scary. Ah lian liddat kind. If only they were simple, pretty, nice and a bit nasty, that would be great.

My very own, early birthday present from me. My dad just brought me a new LCD TV to play my XBOX360. Was pretty fun and a lot of things to do. And Happy Deepavali, though I couldn't stand the banglas who wasted my time in the bus. Took around 15 minutes to count money and pay for tickets. Why can't they get a freaking EZ link card and just tap and go? Best part was when the bus started to move and they all fall like domino onto me and my new LCD TV. I pushed them back as hard as I could. I saved my LCD TV at least. But they were good enough to say sorry. At least I didn't feel so angry. Later I turn green then how?

Met Bobby at AMK Hub while I was getting my new Xbox at Funzcenter. PS3 games are so expensive, and the console is too. Wii wasn't so bad but Xbox games are the cheapest. Xbox Live is something to look forward to. Anyone playing online, do tell me so we can play together!=)

Been thinking about my ideal girlfriend today, That would be..she must love what I love, practically everything. haha, for example, support Liverpool! Love sports, importantly, joing me in my video games.

BTW, Liverpool just beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge and is currently top of the EPL table. Finally Liverpool are improving their style of play and I love watching them play. Even without Fernando Torres, they played well. That just show how much Liverpool has grown under Rafa Benitez.

Did an audit on PUB, thanks to Liyana_westlife for the help. She wanted to rename to Liyana_theclickfive. Well, might as well say Liyana_getalife. okay, I'm just jokin kay Liyana. Smile!=) Who want to help me do audit tommorow, very easy one. 5 simple steps only. Help me please. Nanny don't want help... Later ask mama scold ah! Mama, I miss you, when you want stop working and spent time with me? Deepavali also you work kee...

Best thing about tonight: Liverpool won! and My Xbox360 is good and running. Everything settle.

Time really flies high, hard to catch

When do you say that enough is enough. Or you just can't enough of something?

Life has been moving faster than I could catch my breath. The next thing I know, I've moved on to another day. I could never stop for awhile and take a break. My life is fast moving and theres no stopping it. How did it turn out to be this way. The end of the world is drawing near. And I'm not even ready for it. Why can't I have more time? please give me more time. I need a break. A break from all this.

Yesterday was one of the fastest day of my life. I think its because I enjoyed ever second of it. Time to get back to work tomorrow and I need to be back at 7am to finish off my report. What a rush! It only feels like 9am now. I think my mind is running a few hours late. I need to catch up quick. A few things on my wish list. I need a new gaming laptop. A new phone. and a new personality. I'm turning to be a boring person now. I want to go to Spain. I want to start a new life there. How I wish for so many things and I still have to work hard for it. But leaving this life Im having now is such a waste. Too many people cared for me. Its just difficult to make a decision now.=(

I still want to be with you. No matter what.

Taking you

Sometimes I just don't know what I owe you. I will tend to forget a lot of things, easily. I'm becoming an English teacher. Had to correct a lot of mistakes everyday and typing out reports all day long. How long can I carry on like this? I've done it for more than a week. I've done more than 100 pages of report and I'm going crazy trying to understand their English.

Dream so much lately. Been loving my dreams rather than reality. Life is not complete without its challenges ehh? Funny thing bout my dream is that I keep dreaming of different girls every night. haha and thats cool eh? So many girls..so little time. And its very wierd la, I don't know what kind of games my mind is playing with me. But having lots of friends is betterI guess. But thinking more about it, its almost the same. More friends also difficult to ask them go out. Having a girlfriend, I don't think that will help either. I guess I just have to see how it goes.

Where should I start? Disjointed heart.
I've got no commitment to my own flesh and blood.
Left off alone, Far from my home.
No one to hear me to heal my ill heart
I...Keep it locked up inside!
Keep my distant from your lies.

Breaking a part of my heart to find release
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace.

I will remember you.

A throat so sore and a mouth full of pain.
A high fever burns me like a fire burns a train.
The anger deep inside washes me away
The same way I felt just the other day.
Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out
what ma'am wrote to me and whats' it all about
If you want to tell me what to amend.
can write more clearly, ma'am?

Been doing more than I should
I just want to push, I wish I could
but the work's piled up on me
and the world is coming down on me.
So what do I do, I'm still figuring out
weather to quit or stay or just go out and shout
but if I do I will obviously get charge,
for breaking the law or just get extra guard.

The things that she wrote and the things she shared
made me cooled down a bit and breathe more air
Things are good now like they usually are.
But when things turn bad, I will just laugh..Haha!
Sneezing cold and the air-cons not helping
for once in my life I felt me freezing.
I need a new coat to keep me warm,
but a hug from you would be better kan?

Its been long I felt so much loved
please show me the way to the sky above
I been waiting patiently to show what you made me.
now I don't know if anyone would agree with me.
I ain't sure which ones the right one
cause I seem to go fine with just anyone.
I'm kinda miss the one I had last
It wasn't meant to be huh, yeah, it didn't last

If anyone can catch up, I'm back with my old beat
Too late to get a ticket for a seat from SISTIC
cause the peoples come high and low just to see me.
But I will never forget anyone ,one of you, trust me.=)

I won't let you fall again.

There once live a millionaire who collects live alligators in a pool at the back of his mansion. He had a beautiful daughter that anyone and everyone would love to marry.

One day, he decided to throw a party. During the party, he announced, " My dear guest, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give you a million dollars or my daughter to the man can swim across the pool full of alligators and emerge alive."

Soon after, there was a huge Splash! There's one guy in the pool, swimming with all his might and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheers on as he keeps swimming though his life running for his life.

Finally, he makes it out to the other side with only a thorn shirt and some minor injuries.

" Incredible! Fantastic! I never thought I could be done! What do you want in return for your brave act. My daughter or a million dollars?"

" I don't want you daughter or your million dollars, I want the person who pushed me in the water!"

I find the ending to dis story very funny. I laughed my ass off. Anyways, its nice to read some old jokes and still know you can laugh at it. Strange happenings recently got me thinking if I'm really cursed. But oh well, I have faith. Even though life has not been easy on me, people just can't seem to get their target off me. But I guess I'm happy. Happy that I still have my friends to back me up.

I just want to say this, you watch my back and I will watch yours. I will never let you fall, again.=) When you come back down, I'll be there for you. Did you land on your feet? Anyways, I just hope you find your way back to me.

There's currently a special person who I just can't seem to get my mind off. Anyways, you funny laa. hope to see ya around=)

Facebook is fun!

Done 3 cards for 3 special people in my life, don't want say who la. hehe. Actually they are just Hari Raya cards. Maybe cos I've done so many bad things to these people... I don't know. Just feel like sending cards out this year. If all is good, I will continue doing it next year. How exciting!?=.=I'm kinda tight though, I don't know people's address. Email address I know la, but then getting peoples address is not easy. I guess I'm lucky these people gave it to me.

Today I read a few good jokes on the intranet. I can't believe people put it up. I will post it up tommorow if I can remember them. But they are just so funny I laugh my heart out and have to put my heart back in while putting my lungs back in the correct order.

Been facebook-ing alot lately. Some of the games are very addictive. Some people just don't know when to stop ehh? You kill me, I kill you. You poke me..I super poke you. The cycle never ends. I kinda stop Friendster since my account is like turning crappy. Been adding people I don't know and its been turning very risky. I just have to make my profile private now. But facebook, facebook is fun! Hope all of you switch to facebook and join to be a gangster like me!

One more day to hari raya! lalala..=)

Private Blog?

More and more people are making their blog private. I've been thinking of living a private life too, a private friendster, a private facebook, a private blog, even my rank is Private. hehe.

I don't know. Its just because anakku and cucuku got a private blog now, I was thinking of a change too. Get rid of unwanted readers I should say, cause I really don't know who's reading my blog and it could be dangerous for me especially when I'm saying all the things I shouldn't.

It really makes my day when I go back home, knowing there's still people who remember me. My mum, dad. love them both! My friends, eventhough your far away in physical distant, you still remain close to my heart. Today is just another usual day at work, my officer, seniors and even the director is on leave. Not say all of them are on leave, they are just not in. So I'm left alone in office waiting for people to command me around. So I tried my best to stay low and do my own thing, act busy.=)

I guess being an Audit Assistant 1 makes me the number one target in office since the other Assistant job is more relax. I do have alot more to do. But I guess thats just another challenge, another obstical in life and I will just have to run in down like I always do. Face it, no use running away from it right? I'm really looking forward to a fruitful year ahead.

Ouh yes, I'm really in the mood to celebrate my birthday now. I've been thinking alot about it, even did some planning myself. Since my birthday falls on a Sunday this year, Yay!, I've been wanting to plan my own Birthday party, 1st time ever. I'm going to be 21 this year! No wonder my cucu say I'm old kan? Thats the usual boocu' I have.hehe, glad to have her around still, brightens up my day, any day.

And here's a littel something I saw which kept me thinking...

If condoms had sponsors, they would be lable like...

Nike- Just Do It!
Pringles- Once you pop, you can't stop
KFC- It's finger licking good.
M&Ms- Its melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Energizer- It keeps going & going & going...

=P good day!

Cheers, Bears & Tears,
PTE Fawze
Audit Assistant \m/[-__-]\m/

Why are blondes dumb?

Here is a short story I read somewhere that made me smile yesterday. There were a few but this was the one I remembered best.

____________Start___________

A blonde walked into the library and walk up to the librarian. She complain to him that the book she borrowed had no stories, too many characters. The librarian answered, " You must be the one who took our phone book..."

-__-"

___________End___________

Thank you. Off to napping. Hope today I will get more sleep than yesterday. Miss the people.=)

Amnesia

I finally declare myself empty. I don't have any much files left with me. Both my HDD broke down and I'm left with nothing. It's kinda sad...ok..im feeling very very sad..I'm depress. All my work in NYP, all the photos, all the music, the videos...All the memories. I couldn't have ask for a better "new" beginning. Ya right, new beginning with no memories of the past to look back upon. How sad is that? VERY.

I guess life moves on, I guess I can't show my children or grandchildren what I do when I was at this stage of my life. But I guess they won't even care. At least I still have this blog now. But kind to think about the positive side, I won't bring those stuff when I finally pass... But it's very sad to not be able to look back to the past and I'm only left with the present and the future. If I ever suffer "Amnesia" in my life, at least now I experiencing it once.=) I don't want to remember anything now so it won't hurt but not remembering anything hurts even more, *my head ouch*. haha

Can anyone save me? I need those lost files back=(

Sweet Victory at Anfield

No Torres, 2nd Half Gerrard. Liverpool still managed to win it 2-1! weee~ so happy, jump jump for joy-ce. luckily didn't trip and fall down.=)

Went to Bazaar Geylang today, packed place as usual. I just went to get my stuff as quickly as possible and get the hell out of there.Waited like half an hour just to get putu piring for my mum and dad. haha

Currently listening to Lonely September- Plain White Ts. I'm just remember what happen last year and it was during this time of the year, I listen to that song the most. For those of you who know what happen, you know why eh. Saw her and ran far far away that day, didn't manage to shop finish though. I want to continue shopping next week. Anyone wanna tag along? hahaha, but must be patient with me k. Yat and Kin know why la ehh..

Ouh, before I forget, here is the picture I drew while I was serving NS in the office. so bored, i drew and even colored it. Thats all for now.=)

Brain Booster

Life in SCDF HQ is great, I've learn a lot of thing by myself and have a lot of time for myself and reading newspaper. I even have a new hobby now, and that is doing Sudoku! Saper ntah give me idea to try out sudoku ehh..you know yourself who you are. So I told myself, I'm going to start a new life and thats what I did. I try out a lot of new things and see new things I've not seen before. I begin to look life in a different point of view.

This world is not always as round as many of you think. Ouh well, I didn't know where I came up with that concept. I found somthing intresting in the newspaper some days back. I learn that we shouldn't just eat to fill our stomachs or get rid of hunger, we must eat with a purpose and that is to keep ourself fit and improve ourselves. Here are some tips on what you should eat to boost up your low IQ brain.

1. Fish
An excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids which are essential for brain growth and function.

2. Eggs
A great source of protein. Egg yolks have high amount of choline( a nutrient in the B vitamin family) Helps in memory development. By the way, soft boil eggs are the best.

3. Nuts( Avoid ground nuts)
Vitamin E & are a source of antioxidants that protect the membranes of brain cells againts free radicals.

4. Colorful vegetables
High level of antioxidants that will help keep the brain cells strong and healthy

5. Wholegrains
Provides gradual release of glucose that the brain needs to function due to the fibre regulating its release. It also contains vitamin B.

6. Berries
High level of antioxidants, help prevent cancer. 7. Beans


Energy from protein to complex carbohydrates which are good. Brain food.

8.Yogurt
Protein, vitamin B, D for brain tissues and neuro-transmitters.

There you have it people, remember to eat and not diet yourself. Later you become stupid how? m my fault? And Halimah, I forgot what I wanted to blog about you laa, see la, I think I need more brain food.

Anyways, I just want to thank Hidayat and Ashikin for being so patient with me just now. And thanks for the company, hope to see you soon. And yeah! Tonight is the Liverpool and Manchester Utd match!! come on LiverpooL!!! Hoping for a Keane goal that was promise by Aleef. Anyway, I drew a picture of my hero, Fernando Torres, will scan and show it soons.=)

Thank you very nice.

Yesterday I hold no Apologies, Tomorrow I hold no Answers

Been sick since Friday, but I'm feeling a lot better now. Alhamdulillah. Down with a cold, I think its because of the rain. Been very cold in office. I must stay in office from 8am to 6pm everyday and I'm just getting use to it. Or might be infected by my colleague who was sick before me and came to work even though he is sick. Thanks ah.

So here I am at home, resting at home and sleeping a lot lot lot. On Friday was the worst day of the cold, I keep on sneezing like there's no tomorrow. And water keep flowing down my nose. Ewww right? Yes and I felt better on Saturday and it's not so bad now. Okay, even when I'm sick, I will try my very best to learn something at work. I will try not to act sick. So I learn some faxing, paper shredding and a bit of the report. I did pretty well I guess.

I also manage to read some of the emails in the account. Its funny what you can find in there. There were titles like Indian Zidane headbutt. Where Zidane was able to come flying with a headbutt on Matterazzi or Matterazzi came off twisting and turning after the headbutt. It was kind of over exaggerate but I guess its good humor. Then I found email on how to learn Japanese easily. So I learn some Jap on my own. I don' remember all of the main, but I will try my best.

1. What do you call a heartbroken Jap?
Hatikukecewa
2. What do you call a dirty minded Jap?
Otakukoto
3. What do you call a flat-chested Jap?
Tetekurata
4. How about a Cheeky Jap girl?
Ichibawa

LOL, okay, some of you don't understand, cause its in Malay actually. Then I also read the organiser notebook. I found some very strong phrases. I realize most of them are about believe in something and you can do it.

"Blessed are those give without remembering & take without forgetting."

"A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

"Optimism is a foundation of courage"

"Don't judge those who try and fail, judge those who fail to try."

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

"I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them."

The last two really touch me, its nice to read these nice phrases, they are strong words by strong people. Well, I guess I should keep to the guild lines given to me and do what is right and move on with life. I hope to see my friends next week, I really miss you all.

1st day at HQ SCDF

Yesterday, I finally got to know what I will be doing for the next year and 10 months. What SQD do is we do compilation of audits reports. There are mainly 2 parts. Audits and Plans Branch and Service Excellence Branch. I'm in the APB. What I'm told is i will be taking over this guy name Ishak. He is like my senior and he is a very nice guy. Then some of the people I will be working with is Isaac, Farhan so called Jim. The reason why we call him Jim is because he looks like earthworm Jim. Its funny, he really looks the same.
His eyes, mouth..facial feature. It really looks the same. I was introduce to the director, my reporting officer soo after that. Everyone is very friendly. I hope this is a good sign of things to come. I hope they will be very easy to work with.=)

I've change my mindset for NS. I think I should make full use of NS and make new friend and be friendly to everyone. I think I've not been a very nice person. They should be given a chance to at least get to know me more and I should talk more often. I feel real down when Im not talking or doing anything useful.

So anyways, today is another day and I will be getting my no. 3 uniform today, hopefully. And no jams for today, please. Eventhough its quite near and all, its always jam at Macphersons road. Take care and miss you all who've been away for so long.=) hope to see you all soon. Saturday meet?

Posted Out of CDA

I finally come to the end of my clerk course. I'm posted out to HQ CD in SQD( Service Quality Department. I still not sure what it is yet or what I must do. but I guess it sounds pretty cool. I checking quality. Now I got a problem. I don't know and am not sure on how to go there tomorrow.

Today is a very challenging day for me, especially keeping myself awake. I've not been having enough sleep but I guess its a very common thing among all Singaporeans nowadays. Where got time right? Still fasting and I keep getting mad over small things. My certificate is spelled wrongly. I can't believe they change my name into something else and still say I didn't check properly. I guess the standard is just not there. Ouh well, what to expect, I am serving NS after all. I never really looked up at NS in my life. I keep looking down on them as they are never good for anyone and everyone.Being in uniform really sucks. I just have to appear good in it. And one stupid thing is that I had to give up my seat to this old lady and a man came to sit instead. What happen to all the gentlemen in the world? Please la guys, I am sure you guys are not blind but this is totally unacceptable. can?

And those of you in trains, the priority seats are usually taken up by those not needing to sit. And I just have to see those poor old lady standing up and the one seating trying very very hard not to look. What is happening to this world? Where is the love? And people pretend to care?Why? Humans? Imperfect? bull shit. Selfish people. Grow up. I don't want to see this again. This just makes me mad, upset, unhappy, dissapointed and all down and depress. I wish I could change the world. But people, please open your eyes and see the world. A bit of initiative will really help. Thanks=)

Bob & Shanker

Today marks the 1st day of Ramadan. It was all good. Got use to not eating very easily. I guess I have to keep this up for another 29 days. I wanted to be a better person and reflect on myself on how I can improve myself. I guess I should be more sociable to begin with.

I started the month trying to be just like that. I went back to camp with a positive attitude, trying to make friends. We had power point test and it was too easy for everyone. We then had power point presentation where we had the most fun.

Bob and Shanker just can't stop disturbing each other. Bob, if you don't know, is the biggest and tallest person I have ever seen. He have many nicknames like Bob, Bob AJ, and most well known as Ikan Paus which is a malay word for Whale. Should call him Ikan Paus Biru la..for Blue Whale. He is so huge that his stomach covers his belt.

Shanker is an indian we love to disturb cause he can take jokes. He will also disturb people. A very easy going person I should say. And he keeps making funny noises like when he sing those hindu songs. Bollywood betul ahh...

So today's joke was that Shanker did a powerpoint slide about Bob. During Bob's presentation, he showed a softer side of him, saying he is a good boy and all. then Shanker said this.." Every side of Bob also soft." that made me laugh like crap. Then when it comes to Shankers presentation, he only have 4 slides out of 12. 8 of them were deleted, by you know who and Bob just sits there ans smile like nothing happen. Its so cute to see them both together pinching each other.

I hope tomorrow is another good and fun day at office.

WALL-E

Yesterday, went out with Anand to Cine leisure to watch Wall-E! weee~ Evvaaa! Its raining again, everytime go out with Anand, confirm will rain. I don't know why. The movie is very very funny! I laugh a lot and its very cute and touching story.

Wall E stands for Waste Allocation Load Lister Earth-Class and EVE stands for Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator. How cute ehh? I love the movie so much, feel like watching it again though. Should get the DVD when its out. Sorry Bai Lu, you didn't get to join us this time, cause of your camp. We watch other movie next time outs.

What about today? Today is a time wasting day. I wish I could do better. Was suppose to buy a new watch. It was my dads idea anyway. He said it would be my birthday present. But now things so expensive! No discount, GST got ah. And my birthday is on November and its not even October yet. Okay, for now, I will list down the things I need to get so I won't forget

1. A new watch( less than S$100)
2. A new laptop( Apple macbook or Sony Vaio)
3. A new Hand phone( iPhone please?)
4. A new telephone line ( after I get a proper job)
5. A new bag ( crumple bag would be nice)
6. Get my PSP fix.
7. Service my HDD fix.
8. A new PS3, with Metal Gear Solid 4, PES 2009 and a new HD LCD TV
9. get Football Manager 2009 as soon as it comes out.
10. A new cap.( simple black)
11. Get my own room, which is impossible now.
12. a new pair of Shoes
13. a new girfriend? ok, I can't think of anymore

Anyways, was out to Toa Payoh and went to Geylang Serai to check out the Bazaar. Its not even fully filled with shops yet, I'm like there already. Saw liana but didn't have anything to say, so I just pass by without saying anything. What I felt was, its very hard to find a very decent and innocent girl nowadays. There's just so many things that don't fit me. There will always be some things I just can't accept or can't take. Having learn all the lessons in the past, I want to be as happy as I am when I'm with her and when we are apart. Its just hard. I don't want y girl to have dyed hair color or have piercing all over, not to over exposing herself. Wear decent clothes would be good enough. I don't want to say anymore, but I just wish to find that person soon but I know it won't be easy. But its okay, take it slowly ehh.

Shall update soon. Tomorrow is the beginning of the fasting month. So to all my friends and family, Selamat Berpuasa kays... And yaa, tomorrow, I will be having my powerpoint presentation and test too! Clerk course is a total waste of time but I do learn something though. =)

It's time to get my game on a DotA again. Can I have a better life than this?

Super Clerks

" You all look sleepy, all half right down. Carry on 20 for me"- Instructor

Early morning wake up call, and we all fresh and ready to type type. Thanks for coming late guys, now we have to come at 740am instead of 745am. Sabo-ing is just a part of everyday NS life I guess. Got to get use to this "One for all, all for one" shit.

Finally got my Home Team card, I don't really know the benefits yet, but I guess its a good thing to hold this card.

" I don't want to punish you all, but you all not discipline, see Officer don't know how to greet. You all need muscles to type is it?"- Instructor

Well, I guess all of us need some work out to keep us typing away.haha, how bout this...

" Clerks keluar baris! Backspace, Enter, we are Clerks!"

I find it good way for us to leave the line. But it's not implemented yet. Sometimes I just wish I'm a fire fighter now, getting to run here and there, perspire like there's no tomorrow. And not just sitting down in aircon room and just down desk job.

We had a test today, was very very easy.I can't believe I even study for it. We learn NSPAM and Excel too. Tomorrow is Excel test, I guess it will be another easy one for me. I guess being a clerk is not so bad after all. The best is you get to deduct NSF and NSMen allowance too. How great is that and you will get to see secret document. These are just some good things about clerks.

One final thing, that made me laugh alot yesterday...

" Where's you belt, Bob?" - Instructor.
" His stomach covering it!"- Clerks

Everyone laugh all the way back home.=)

Come Back Kings

Its amazing how football can effect human emotions greatly. Liverpool did it again. Beating Middlesbrough 2-1 in a 0-1 then coming back to life with 2 goals. Goals coming for Jamie Carragger and Steven Gerrard. 2ndly Raul and company came from a 3-2 then 4-2 to a stunning 6-5 comeback, beating Valencia. A goal for Ruben De La Red was the best among them.

Back in CDA, 1st day in CDA. A new place, new people, same rules. I will be a clerk for the rest of my 1 year and few months. I guess thats ok, I'm not complaining at all. Our instructor is Corporal Tan, a nice short guy. Our "teacher" is Captain Fadhila, yes, she is a lady. She have yet to scold us, but she seems like a nice lady. Easy to talk to, can take jokes. I guess thats ok, I just want a pleasant 7 days stay, now left 6 more days. I will get my posting on 2 September 2008.

Still got a lot of things to do, like polishing my boots, iron clothes for tomorrows uniform inspection. We can't sleep in class and if we do, we must tell a story. That made me think hard, if I were to sleep, I will need to dream and dream big. Then I will be able to wake up and tell my story to everyone.

Class Rules:
1. Must always be Punctual
2. Respect
3. No Sleeping
4. No vulgarities
5. Speak only English

I guess I can live up to the rule, but I can't stand one thing..." one for all, all for one". Its the only thing I hate about NS. Why do everyone have to suffer cause of someone else's mistake? I can't live like this, I rather be alone and suffer alone and leave the rest alone. What do you think?

HeakLeakMuak

I feel so old and yet I still think I'm young, maybe its my size la. Anyways, Halimah went on to blog about me. One whole post just about me, well, I just feel like doing the same, but my own way.

I know this girl from MacPherson Secondary,
But she look mean but pretty(*nasty)
Didn't know her back then like I know her now
Think I wanna write seriously, but I do anyhow

Here's to you, the girl from RP
This ones for you from Fawze
You might think I'm greedy
And I force you to write bout me
But I remembered it was you who wanted to write it
And I don't remember and part of me wanting it

And yes, I am serving NS
but not all CD men are mats
And no, you can't write anymore
cause you don't know nuts

About me, you right I'm caring concern
and I can wait for raya for this
All I wanted you to understand and learn
is drugs and smoke are out of the list

Sometimes I just miss the old days when I was still back in the Angklung. Glad I still got my juniors around but now that you've all graduated, there's no looking back I guess.

And here is a picture of my Angklung Juniors. Halimah & Tijah=)

Now we are even, no need treat you a meal, Swensen some more! And yeah, your birthday da lamer lepas, what for need give you big big surprise?

Okay, some good things about Halimah. She talks to me often. Takes away my boredom. Makes me laugh over lame jokes. Easy to talk to and never fail to reply. Talks crap. Not afraid to say anything, very open minded I guess. And she use to put me in her featured friends, how cool is that? We barely know each other and I don't have many people putting me in their featured friends on friendster.

Bad things about her, she don't like me. She treats me badly and jokes about me. But I guess thats okay. I don't mind. She keep asking for treats. She keeps asking me to tag her. She removed me from her featured friends. She thinks I'm superman, can type very fast. She don't let me sleep early. I like her picture where she took in school. She don't have a facebook account.

I guess thats all for now, shall blog soon. =)Bored no one tag yet. ouh well~

Look Into My Eyes

Look into my eyes and tell me what you say is not a lie. Sabo so many times, still think we can be friends. Still ask me out and tell me I not "jiwe" if I don't go. But where were all of you when I was alone cleaning the bunk and doing my own area cleaning? That's right, you were just sitting there and watch as the world turn round and round over again. What where you thinking when you over reacted and scream over a small thing. Why can't you take a joke? If can't take joke, then don't make joke k. If can't be disturbed, then stop disturbing people. You always want to win and think your better than everyone else.

" There are 2 worlds. Yours and ours."

Please don't misunderstand this. It not that I don't want to make friends. It's just that I don't want to mix around with bad company and as far as I judge from my 7 weeks with you, its hard to say that you guys were ever my friends at all. You all just come and go. And that seems to bother me and that's been my real problem in NS. I find it hard to trust again. Let me take some time off and think again. And giving feedbacks are just a waste of time when you don't want to change anything. Stay in you zone and move on with your life and stop asking so many questions. It might just hurt someone. Don't ask personal questions or ask for personal help when you don't know me well.

1st of all, there's bug everywhere, in this picture,
my Hero got no skills on 1st level of Dota.shit!

My Harddisc is ill and my PSP analog stick irritates me too much. I need new stuffs for replacement. My laptop is dying soon and I hope I don't lose anything=( Can someone please help me. Leading a new life is not easy. Taking back the old life is harder. I don't want to look back on the things I've done before cause its never coming back. I miss you so much that it hurts.

"One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind. "

When I'm thinking, alone and quiet. It must be about you. Sometimes I'm just lost and wonder what the world would be like if your still here. I miss my true friends on my side. At least some of them are still around. I want to DotA now.Hope a good movie will come out soon. I miss eating popcorn and nachos. Going to make a play list of emo songs soon.hehe

I predict a Lonely September. =)

POP oh!

Platoon 5 108th Intake

Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great.
Dorm 10The X-men- Sick club
Dorm 10,Locker 7, Bed 7, Register no. 22.My locker,My Bed(left of the picture), me and my Uniform

21st August marks the day I finally pass out from BRTC and become a qualified Rescuer. My time there, I learn some handy tools, first aid, fire fighting and CPR too. Its been a great experience and everyone was sad to leave the place, we will definitely miss camp. But overall everyone was happy that we've pass out. For me, I won't miss a moment I'm there, I'm just happy I'm out of there.

22nd August marks the day Mama finally took baby out for a walk and some cupcakes too.=) Thanks for the walk and cupcakes Mama. And thank Yat for the company and also the fireworks. Sound so wrong. We went to Tong Seng to eat. And I didn't know Mama scared of cats, and my SMS ring tone is some cats meow-ing. lol. Mama so freaked out. Then we walk from Tong Seng( Bugis) to City Hall.

Here is a picture of me and Yat sitting down while waiting for the fireworks to start. Can see my round head huh? We waited so long that we decided to buy $1 ice-cream. And when we did, it finally starts.=)

" I'm not here to see fireworks, I'm here to make fireworks."

- Someone I know, don't want say who.

What's a POP without some fireworks ehh?